OK, I admit it. I am a plus size woman and I hate the term “BBW.” For me, it doesn’t make me feel good about being this size. Yes, I’m big. Yes, I am beautiful. And I do identify as a woman. So what’s the problem?

It feels like a “gimme” compliment. This term makes me feel like the words “big” and “beautiful” and “woman” are all tied to each other. Why can’t I just be a beautiful woman? Do we have to add the “big” distinction? Yes, my body is larger and my proportions are different than a lot of women. However, my body is different than any other woman’s is. We don’t come in small, medium, and large then “big” sizes. We’re not “petite” and “misses” and “woman” sizes only. Why should I define myself with “big” as part of the term?

There are so many other terms that I would rather define myself by. I am intelligent, creative, spunky, nerdy, and a bit obsessive when something captures my attention. To me, all of these qualities are so much more important than being big or beautiful.
What exactly is a BBW? It could be someone who uses any of the following terms: overweight, obese, large, full figure, plus-size, full-bodied, or fat. According to this definition, if you are a size 10 today but used to be a size 6, you could define yourself as a BBW. The term is completely biased on how you define yourself.

I did some research on this term as I’m not sure where it came from. According to Wikipedia, it was first used just 33 years ago in 1979 by a woman named Carole Shaw who launched a magazine called BBW Magazine for larger women. Since the time of that magazine publication, the term has spread. Some women claim it proudly and celebrate their natural bodies. They fight back against a stigma to be thin or skinny and try to create a body they are not meant to have.

Is being proud of who you are something bad? Absolutely not! Women should be accepting of their natural bodies. I would want nothing more for myself or any woman, regardless of her dress size. People come in all shapes and sizes and fortunately there are people who appreciate all of these beautiful body types. We are not built as one size fits all. A bigger person isn’t necessarily tall and a thinner person isn’t always petite or very tall.

But why so much focus on the outward? Can’t I be an Intelligent Fun Woman (IFW)? Or Sexy Open Minded Woman (SOMW)? I can think of so many other brilliant ways to describe myself other than talking about what size my waist might be. I’d rather show off my mind and personality above my physical attributes.

Be proud of who you are. If you want to describe yourself as a BBW, I’m not here to stop you. I love my body and so does my partner. For me, I’d rather use a term with less focus on my body and more focus on my mind.