July 28, 2012

Am I a Freak? (A Formal Introduction)

by Tessa Taboo

Nobody can tell you better if your turn-ons make you a freak, than the expert on taboo... Tessa Taboo.

Society, in a Nutshell

Nobody wants to be the loner standing by the wall at the school dance. Nobody wants to be the person that everybody talks about at the water cooler. So, to an extent, everybody strives to conform, and blend in with the rest of society. My theory is that it has something to do with the zebras and lions.

Despite the fact that no two zebras have the same stripe pattern, when they run in a herd, it’s really hard to focus on just one (maybe that is why a group of zebras is called a ‘dazzle’?). So when a lion is looking for a tasty morsel, unless one gets separated from the herd, it’s going to have a hard time launching a focused attack. And nobody wants to be the zebra that gets separated from the herd.

Are You That Zebra?

Maybe you have an insatiable urge to lick pretty feet. Or in order to orgasm, you have to imagine that insects are crawling all over you. Perhaps nothing turns you on more than a giant, fluffy teddy bear. Maybe seeing a guy with an amputated leg makes your panties wet.

Almost everyone has something in the back of their head that makes them wonder, “Am I a freak for thinking that’s hot?”. It’s something you never talk about to anyone else and you just keep it as your own little fantasy. And if anyone ever found out, you’d be mortified. Because there is no way that anyone else in the world could possibly find it arousing, and you would surely be labeled a freak, if not sent off to the mental ward, right?

But the fact of the matter is, it’s statistically impossible for you to be the only person that gets turned on by something. Here’s some proof:

Agalmatophilia: Arousal from statues, mannequins, and immobility.
Apotemnophilia: Being aroused by having an amputation performed on yourself.
Autoassassinaphilia: Arousal from being in life threatening situations.
Dacryphilia: Being aroused by tears or crying.
Dendrophilia: Being aroused by trees.
Forniphilia: Arousal from turning a human being into a piece of furniture.
Mechanophilia: Being aroused by cars or other machines.
Nasophilia: Being aroused by noses.
Objectophilia: Having a pronounced emotional desire towards inanimate objects.
Somnophilia: Being aroused by sleeping or unconscious people.
Symphorophilia: Being aroused by witnessing or staging disasters like car accidents.
Trichophilia: Being aroused by hair.
Vorarephilia: Being turned on by the idea of eating or being eaten by others.

The list goes on for miles, but you get my point. If there was only one person in the world turned on by those things, they wouldn’t have actually bothered giving them names.

So are you a freak? The answer is no. What turns you on might make you feel like a stray zebra running from a hungry lion, but if you find the right dazzle, you’ll blend in just fine!