""Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.""
Let’s start with some definitions. There is a difference between a kink and a fetish. A fetish is something you require to orgasm; whereas a kink is simply something that you enjoy. There is nothing wrong with having a fetish. If that’s what you require, that is fine too, but we need to make sure that we are using the right terminology.
Kink and fetish is so classically thought of as BDSM. It can be, but that isn’t all it is. I like the idea getting off with people watching. Nothing about that is BDSM, but it is still a kink. Get what I am saying? Kink and fetish is so much more than BDSM. It’s about sex. It’s that broad.
I don’t have any fetishes personally, but I do have a ton of kinks. There is no one act, item, place, or body part that is required for me to find sexual satisfaction. There is a heaping bag of kinks that do make it easier. Everyone has kink. Seriously. Take moment and think about what your perfect sexual encounter would be. Romantic and candle lit? In the rain? Doggie style? Anonymous? Those are all kinks.
I am pretty “classically” kinky. I like being tied up. I like tying others up. I have an urge to watch a beautiful woman kneel on her hands and knees and lick my boots after I walked her around on leash. I love having a man hold me by the throat and tell me when and how hard I can orgasm. I know these are kinks because one of my partners and I were monogamous for 4 years and his kinks have nothing to do with BDSM. I was happy and reaching orgasm just fine without my kinks being stimulated.
Sure, to be fair, I come much more often now that my kinks are being explored again, but you know what? I still come harder with my vanilla partner. Want to know why?
I am his kink. His kink is my moaning. He lives to hear me get off. He loves toys as a tool, but doesn’t need them. After six years, he knows my body perfectly. He can find the perfect spot and intensity before I know that I want it. I am a finely tuned instrument that he plays exquisitely.
I love being tied up and spanked. I love the bruises that come from the bites that made me writhe in blissful agony. I also love the orgasm that lasted so long I thought I might hyperventilate that I get every time I have sex with my ”vanilla” partner.
Everyone has a kink. Mine might hurt more than yours, but I won’t think less of you. It’s fine to like it outside, or in the shower more than on a bed. How is that so different than me liking it tied up? I don’t care if you like to have your toes sucked or suck toes. I hate sex in reverse cowgirl, but if that’s what gets you off, have fun!
We are all trying to get to the same place; just our paths to get there are different.