"Who would believe this childish discipline, received at eight-years old, from the hands of a woman of 30, should influence my propensities, my desires, my passions, for the rest of my life, and that in quite a contrary sense from what might naturally have been expected?"

— Jean-Jacques Rousseau

There are two ways react to a tabloid. One is to divert your eyes and the other is to indulge in it. Rarely have I found there is middle ground.

Sex scandals are found at the end of every check outline, on the TV and plastered all over the internet. Even if you don't read them, they're staring right at you at the end of the check out line with tits, ass and tears. There in large print, divulging secrets and shame for the public eye.

Guilty as charged, I love reading the titles.

The supermarket isn’t the only place to find the sleaze. Sex scandals are not a modern invention and some of our most beloved historical figures had more dirty laundry in their closest than Anglia and Brittney. From presidents, philosophers and even one of our Founding Fathers. So who are some of our private sexual explorers?

Benjamin Franklin was into cougars, aged cougars. Benjamin Franklin is best known for being one of our Founding Fathers. He was also a scientist, musician, invention, satirist, statesman, diplomat, author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster and a bit of a slut. I am not going to even try to estimate the number of skirts he chased without shame.

Instead we'll get into his rumored preferences. He wrote Advice to a Young on the Choice of a Mistress in 1745 and told all. In this letter he describes in list form why older ladies are preferable to younger girls. If you're curious how old here is the description he uses:

“The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the neck; then the breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a basket, and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all cats are gray.”

A few of the reasons he lists are that they can carry more mature conversations, they are “grateful” for the attention, feel less entitled and are more humble. Franklin not only taught us about the fundamentals of electricity, but also that like wine, woman get better with age. Whether or not you agree with him, is up to you.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau is one of the most predominate philosophers of our time. He influenced the French Revolution, the US Declaration of the independence and arguably a good portion of the LOST plot line. His writing still inspires modern politicians, sociological, educational thought and convoluted television scripts (that we just can't put down). He also enjoyed being spanked, really enjoyed being spanked. Unlike most historical figures he didn't try to hide his desires, he put it in his autobiography.

“Who would believe this childish discipline, received at eight-years old, from the hands of a woman of 30, should influence my propensities, my desires, my passions, for the rest of my life, and that in quite a contrary sense from what might naturally have been expected?"

It was rumored that he would pull down his pants and back into a woman with bare ass cheeks out in hopes to be slapped. I'd like to thank Rousseau for his contribution to society as a whole and willingness to unabashedly bring kink to the main stream. Jean-Jacques you so crazy!

Albert Einstein is the man that loved science so much he had his brain put in a jar to be studied by students for generations to come, known as the father of modern physics and for having some pretty crazy hair. Like Ol' Ben Einstein loved women. He loved a lot of woman.

He didn't even mind blurring the the line when it came to family matters. While considering his marriage to his cousin Elsa, he almost married her twenty-two year old daughter. Of course, he admitted to Elsa before they got married that he had her sister in the younger years. Then he left her for his secretary, and then left her for, so on and so forth. Einstein winds up on my list for being one of the few men in history who not only nailed his cousin (which was fairly normal at the time), but nailed several other branches of his family tree.

James Joyce, welcome to your modern scandal. You thought this died with you didn't you?

So who is James Joyce? He wrote Ulysses in 1922. What else did he write? The filthiest letters imaginable to his wife. Talk about doing long distance foreplay right.

Starting one of his letters with “My sweet little whorish Nora” and ending up somewhere between spanking and farting, in these letter you still see that stunning writing style and cunning word play he is oh so famous for. Well done Joyce. That is one way to keep your wife eagerly waiting.

Elvis Presley our king of Rock and Roll had a scandal all his own. Not only did he have those platinum records but he also had a foot fetish and a serious itch for voyeurism. Elvis is known for pushing musical boundaries and taking a lot of drugs, and lesser known for his foot fetish and his great pile of Polaroids.

A man with his choice of countless groupies asked his handlers to find young, attractive girls but to make sure they were wearing open toed shoes and they had attractive toes. While courting lovely Priscilla he took endless photos of her (typically clad in full back white panties) crawling about their bedroom, sometimes sending her to store in the late hours of the night just to buy more film. I wonder how much he spent on film anyway?

You won't find most of this in our history books but a few biographies will spill the good stuff. What have I learned from history? Sexuality is individual and not limited by intelligence, race or design. And according to some historians, sexual freedom is a means to happiness.