It's only fitting that a show designed to talk about my trials and errors of being a single dating mother in LA would bring you yet another episode in which I am back to the eternal coupling drawing board. Things with the musician didn't pan out, which was sad for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that he never wrote a song about me. I even wrote a song about him. Huge rip off.

Anyway, I didn't really waste any time. The day after he broke up with me I put a profile up on OkCupid. Quick, right? Well, come on. I was feeling unattractive and vulnerable and I needed a bunch of strangers to jack off to my photos. (That last part wasn't so much needed. I'm sure I could hire someone for that.)

Two days into the online dating process I remembered why I'd hated it so much when I deleted my profile. It's exhausting. It's so much work, this dating thing, and when you're trying to make things worked based on percentages, photographs, and a surface look of how someone presents themselves to the dating world, eventually it begins to get boring. The usual process goes:

I write to him or he writes to me.
We have a conversation.
Witty? If no, end communication. If yes, schedule date.
Before the date, get worked up. Will he like me? What if he shows up and he's bummed out over the way I look in person? What if we have nothing to talk about?
Date happens. I'm bored. Maybe I sleep with him. I'm still bored.
If I'm not bored, I don't get called back. Oh no. Maybe he was bored.
Gargle. Repeat.

Until eventually I get so damn sick of the process that the next fellow to show up, even if he's a jerk or boring, unfunny, talks too much, sleeps around, isn't anything at all what I had in mind- well- none of it matters. I'm tired of dating, so I go forward with being someone's girlfriend.

But this month isn't about me. Oh no. This month is about you, dating men of the world, because part of the reason women on dating sites are so bitchy and short with you is that we're putting up with a lot of people who think of dating as a pick up game, even if they're trying to have a lasting relationship. So this video is about what I want you to learn. May it make the world of online dating a better place.