December 30, 2010

Sex and Pomegranates 101

by Kal Cobalt

Pomegranates: They’re sexy, they’re mysterious, and they’re completely impenetrable to pomegranate virgins. How the hell do you eat them, and are they worth the work? If you’re a sensual foodie, absolutely!

Healthy Sexy Fruit

Pomegranates are credited with a number of health benefits. Filled with Vitamin B5 and potassium, arils eaten with the seed intact also contain unsaturated oils and other nutrients. Those tannins I mentioned earlier? Pomegranates contain a unique one high in free radicals and antioxidants. There’s even some research suggesting that poms may be useful in combating cardiovascular disease.

Naturally, the effect of pomegranate on health conditions is not entirely scientifically proven. If you’re swayed to give it a shot based on a desire to keep yourself and your bonk buddy healthy, be sure to use it in more of a “hedging your bets” fashion, rather than “all your eggs in one basket.”

How To Get In A Pomegranate’s Pants

It’s easier than you think! First, you want to be as sure of your selected pom as you are of your selected mate for the evening. Seek a bright-red pomegranate with hard, shiny skin. Give the crown a little squeeze for firmness—not soft and not powdery. The larger the pom, the more of it is edible.

Once you have your lovely little fruit at home, hack the thing in half, score the peel with a knife, and spank the pom over a bowl to make the arils fall out. There’s no use for the peel or pulp; serving a mound of sexy, tasty arils on a pretty little plate (or perhaps a belly?) is the way to go.

If you’ve never had pom, be sure to have a nibble before planning a date around it—you want to be sure you like it! Be prepared for a slightly messy evening, too; arils are sometimes sticky and their juice occasionally stains. While this is a downside for many people, I suggest working it into your lusty shenanigans. Lips stained red are sexy, and sticky fingers beg to be licked slick. After all of that, if things get too bad, you can always take a steamy shower together!

Other Applications

Grenadine, which is often used in mixed drinks, is thickened, sweetened pomegranate juice. This offers the perfect opportunity to pair some drinks (virgin or full-octane) with your pomegranate excursion. Alternately, a hearty red wine may work perfectly, as both pomegranates and red wines have tannins to thank for much of their flavor. Or, if some partners drink wine and others abstain, pouring pom juice for the sober folks is a great way to get a sexy crimson drink into everyone’s glass.

If you’re thinking of pom as an accent to a side dish or entree instead of an appetizer or after-nookie snack, you could try them sprinkled over a salad or yogurt. More adventurous types might attempt pairing pomegranate’s red-wine-like tannic structure with pork or even beef, either by adding raw arils as garnish or as a sauce with a base of pomegranate juice.

Some fancier stores may carry chocolate-covered dried pomegranate arils. Wikipedia suggests you put these into baked goods, but I will suggest you put them into a blindfolded lover’s mouth.

What If It’s All Too Much?

In the end, if dealing with slippery, sticky beads of staining juice just isn’t your idea of a fun date night, don’t despair—the pomegranate has not abandoned you! Pomegranate juice is widely available and incredibly thirst-quenching in those between-rounds moments. Who knows? Maybe all those antioxidants and heart-healthy bits will invigorate your mattress mambo to previously unknown heights. You’ll never know until you try ... which works just as well in the kitchen as it does in the bedroom!