For many people in the dating world, the question “Where is this going?” is an inevitable one. Some hope for “to the altar,” but most figure “to the bedroom” is at least in the running.

Laura Brashier, a hair stylist from Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif., wants to offer an alternative for people who can’t or don’t want to have sex due to illness, injury or religious preference but still want to find love. The Orange County Register reports that Brashier, now 50, was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer when she was 37. She underwent debilitating chemotherapy and radiation, had an agonizing recovery and has so much vaginal scar tissue from the radiation that penis-vagina intercourse is not an option. “Docs gave her a “dilator” (think marital aid), but it burns and stings so much she’s given up,” the paper reports.

Brashier didn’t tell anyone about her dilemma, but when girlfriends tried to fixed her up on dates, she realized there must be other people with similar problems. She started 2date4love.com in an effort to bring together people like herself and indeed, eliminating the guess work (how to tell them? when to tell them?) will surely be a relief to those for whom sex—at least specific kinds of sex—is not an option. Brashier plans to have articles offering alternatives to intercourse and, the OCR notes, “No intercourse doesn’t mean no sex, after all.”

Indeed—even with a few of them off the table, it can still be all about the options.