Ladies and gentlemen, if you must modify the unique and beautiful sculpture that is your body, please, for the love of all that is good in the world, check up on your doctors before allowing them to cut on you.

This horrific tale comes to us from Los Angeles, Calif. A woman went in to have her breast implants replaced and came out sporting a uniboob and unable to close her eyes. And she hadn't even asked for the eye surgery.

The surgeon who performed the operation cut through a pocket of skin that separates the breasts. She also cut through nerves and muscle across the ribs, leaving Dinora Rodriguez, 40, with shooting pains in her chest.

Somehow the fact that this butcher is a woman makes it worse, we think. Though Rodriguez was able to pay to have her breasts repaired with money she won in a malpractice settlement, the damage to her eyes is irreversible.

“There is a misconception among consumers that as long as a doctor is certified in a medical field that he or she is qualified to practice plastic surgery. This is absolutely wrong and it is dangerous for patients,” said Malcolm Z. Roth, president of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Roth recommends that those considering plastic surgery choose among only ASPS members as “the best way to be certain that he or she has completed the necessary training and meets certain standards to practice plastic surgery.”