From Beginner to Intermediate
If you’ve arrived at this spot, then it’s safe to assume that you’ve found your spot (aka: your prostate), perhaps thanks to the ‘prep’ course in “Prostating the Obvious.” Now that you’re sure of your sexual wants, your masculinity is intact, you’ve let go of inhibitions about your anus and rectum, and have been probing around a bit, you’re ready to push that hot button harder to experience explosive orgasms. So sit back, relax, and let’s start pushing.
Foreplay in the Aft
Way too eager straight men, gay men, and girls with prostates (you know who you are) sometimes go right for the six inch (or more) dildo the first time, and then find themselves traumatized by the discomfort experienced. It’s very easy to envision in your head how hot it will be to swallow that thing whole (I know, they make it look so easy in the movies), but even the most voracious asses worked their way up over time. One way to prep is with some form of douching or an enema. Not only are you cleaning yourself for the fun to come, but you’re also relaxing the muscles back there and practicing lubricating your anus then inserting something in it. A simple system like the Unisex Douche will do the trick nicely. For hardcore enema fetishists who can handle extreme amounts of water up their works, there are enema kits that easily connect right to your shower, such as the Universal Water Works System, which has a soft jelly dong that inserts in your anus—very similar to many of the toys you’ll be using soon after your cleansing. Whatever system you use, you might very well find yourself really enjoying the cleansing experience. Just don’t make it a habit or it can become, well, a habit.
With the cleansing out of the way, you can warm your anus up in several ways, teasing it into submission. Have your partner tickle your anus and the surrounding area gently with a well lubricated finger, and add a sexy latex or nitrile glove for protection from both STDs and fingernails. When your perianal area is brushed over lightly, the nerve endings quickly come alive, and before long, your anus will be quivering with anticipation. Another surefire way to prep is to have your partner give you a rim job, an incredibly intense oral experience that has the same effect. Again, protection is available in the form of dental dams. And for anal virgins, there are first timer dildos and strap-ons that are about the size of a finger. These are wonderful tools for experiencing an actual fucking, and you’ll soon find that you’re ready to move on to bigger and better toys. Just read some of the customer reviews for these starter kits here on EdenFantasys and you’ll see many of the men saying it wasn’t long before they were ready to try out larger sizes.
Expanding your Horizon
There are a couple of ways to become accustomed to larger sized toys when it’s time to massage that P-spot. You may think, “Hey, if this three inch dildo is doing the trick, why do I need to have something stuck further up there?” To put the anal in analogy, asshole is to dildo as mouth is to potato chip. The more you put in there, the more you want in there. Face it. You’re not going to know that bigger intensifies the stimulation until you try a larger dildo, which will continuously massage your prostate on its in/out journey. This is where you go from pressing the prostate once just so you can pop a quick one to having an intangible, magnificent build-up inside that peaks with an eardrum banging climax. A persistent barrage of prostate stimulation can make you surrender your entire sexual being, leaving you hyperventilating and whimpering mixed messages of “Stop! More! Stop! More!” This treatment can lead some men to have an orgasm without even touching their penises. Now isn’t that the kind of goal you want to strive for in life???
One way for partners to prepare for a night of prostate pleasure is to play master and servant. For instance, if you’re the one who’s going to be doing the penetrating, give your bottom boy a butt plug as a gift, and instruct him to insert it a couple of hours before your planned tryst (with lube of course!) and keep it in there as he goes about his daily routine, his anal muscles gradually relaxing to gladly accommodate the visitor. No doubt his hole and prostate will be aching (for more) by the time you are ready to begin the games. Once that plug is removed, desire will be coursing through his nerve endings, and he’ll be begging to have that void filled with something else. Something larger and more challenging! Just be sure that the butt plug of choice (and any anal toy you chose, for that matter) has a wide, sturdy, flanged base that won’t fold in and disappear up your partner’s bum, which can lead to a difficult retrieval, if not a trip to the emergency room. Also, unless you’re a power bottom built to be filled for extended periods of time, you should definitely monitor how the butt plug feels as you go about your business, and call a time out on the game if it really doesn’t feel comfortable.
The obvious way to find out just how big you want it is to try different lengths and widths in growing increments. This way, as your partner progressively grabs bigger and bigger toys to work into you, you can see the results and pat yourself on the back(side) when you’ve graduated to the next size. Sets such as the Booty Bumper Kit are perfect for such a scenario, since they come complete with several dildos in various sizes. The other option is a toy that actually increases in size as it extends down the shaft, such as the Pawn and the Screw Royal (which works just as it sounds like it does!). However, the varying size approach helps you better differentiate between the length and width that is best for you. A long, thin dildo might satisfy you perfectly while a dildo the same length with a large girth is uncomfortable. Or, length might be the issue—you might like ‘em short and fat! Toys that widen as they get to the base feed you width and length at the same time, making it more of a challenge to determine which dimension is the one that’s doing it for you (or not).
There is a happy medium. Anal beads feed you one ball at a time, and lock into place thanks to the narrow shaft between each bead, which lets you become accustomed to the feeling before moving on to the next larger size. Anal beads like these are fantastic for prostate massage, working wonders as they bounce over your button. Speed bumps might be wrong for your car, but they are a gift to your anus and prostate. Some anal beads even vibrate, like these, giving you an even more intense experience.
Making a Big Entrance: Advanced Anal Play
Once your anus has ‘grown’ accustomed to having toys inserted up it, the options are endless. Keep in mind when selecting your toys that toys made from porous materials should not be shared between partners without using protection. Yes, that means putting a condom on your toy. Non-porous toys will be made out of materials like silicone, hard plastic, glass, and metal.
A great couple toy is the double ended dildo. Take the Feeldoe More, which is basically a strapless strap-on. It is curved in such a way that when one partner inserts it, he or she becomes the top, and can then thrust with the other end into the bottom partner.
Thick and curvaceous, the Prostate Health by Tantus is not for first timers. Made of pure silicone, it is curved to fit the inner contours of your rectum and reach the prostate with its bulbous tip, both to pleasure and massage your prostate. Another nice prostate stimulator that will really fill you up is the Nexus Gyro.
Colt™ PowerBalls™ are hefty, nice sized…um…balls, and extra long at a whopping 20 inches! The chain link lets you keep a good hold on it. This is one toy that you can use to drive your man’s prostate wild. Be aware that Power Balls are made of rubber, a porous material, so they should not be shared between partners.
Whichever toys you use, never be ashamed to say “that hurts” or “more lube.” If it doesn’t feel good, don’t assume it will if you just grit your teeth. Your body (and booty) will let you know if things aren’t feeling right. ‘Listen’ to those sensations, and put a stop to any discomfort before it can cause any damage.
Avoiding a Pain in the Ass: It’s a Slippery Slope
Do yourself—and your asshole—a favor. Always use a lubricant before doing anal, preferably a product specifically made for anal play. By that, I mean not spit. Saliva dries up way too fast and can also put you at risk for STDs. There are plenty of lubricants on the market. Here are just a few:
Anal Lube™ does just what it says—lubes your anus for insertion. It’s simple, straightforward and water-based, making it an easy cleanup.
Maximus is another water-based lube that has the consistency of a lotion, lasts a long time, and helps prevent the spreading of bacteria, fungi spores and yeast infections, making it perfect for anal play.
Colt™ Slick™ Lubricant is water-based, leaves no stains, is easily washed off, and can be used with sex toys made of all kinds of materials.
Experiment with different lubricant brands to find the one that is the most effective and most comfortable for you (some like it thin and slick, others prefer it thick and messy), and always make sure that the type of lubricant is compatible with the material makeup of your toys or condoms. Water-based lubricants are a sure thing with all sex toys, but, if you want to play in the shower, the lubricant will wash right off! Silicone-based lubricants should not be used with silicone toys because they actually damage the toy. They are, however, a great choice for playing in water, and don’t dry up like water-based lubricants—which also makes for a more challenging cleanup. And finally, petroleum-based lubricants are thick and long lasting, but should not be used with latex toys or condoms, because they destroy the latex.
One more note about lubricants. There are ointments on the market that actually numb the nerve endings in your asshole, the point being to avoid discomfort. Now why would you want to deaden the highly erogenous zone you’re about to bring to life? If you are so uptight about anal sex hurting that you want to sedate your asshole, then you probably shouldn’t even be going there in the first place. These desensitizing products contain ingredients that are not healthy, infection being only one of the dangers. Don’t even consider using them.
From lubricants to toy options, going for the gusto of prostate pleasure is a fantastic and incredibly fun journey. So take your time, make lubricant and toy choices that best suit your needs, play it safe, and treat your anus like the family jewel that it is. Pucker Up!