In the first article in this series, I gave some general advice about how to approach learning to have prostate orgasms and talked about manual stimulation of the prostate. In the second article, I talked about the virtues of probes, prostate massagers, and vibrators. In this, the third and last article, I will discuss the use of dildos.
Dildos and Thrusting
A way of stimulating the prostate that is very different from the other techniques I've discussed is, basically, to fuck yourself. Achieving prostate orgasm this way is something I only learned to do long after I'd learned to do it other ways, though your mileage, as always, may vary. But I'm glad I learned to do it this way. It's a particularly interesting sort of orgasm, since the penetration and thrusting cause so many other sensations at the same time.
The difference between this method and the use of probes is that there is not a lot of thrusting with probes. Much of the time, using the NJoy Pure Wand, for example, I am more rocking it back and forth than moving it in and out, so there is not much stimulation of the sensitive tissues around the anus, but only of the prostate. What I have in mind here, on the other hand, is a form of play that is much more focused on the in-and-out where there will be a lot of stimulation of the anal ring.
Just how much size one wants is very much a personal decision. But here again, it is important to be able to move the dildo in and out in a regular, rhythmic way, so you want something fairly comfortable. And you need a lot of lube.
Simply inserting a dildo and moving it in and out will not supply much stimulation to the prostate. The prostate is on the front wall of the rectum, so a dildo that is pointing directly into the rectum is mostly going to miss it. To stimulate the prostate this way, you have to get the dildo to rub up against, or back and forth over, the prostate. And to do that, you have to angle the outer end of the dildo away from the front of your body so that the part of the dildo inside you will be pointed toward the prostate.
This angle can be difficult to get right. If it is too steep, then the front end of the dildo will hit the prostate too directly, which is at best uncomfortable and at worst painful. If it is too shallow, then you will not get enough pressure against the prostate. More than with any other technique, you will need to experiment, pretty much every time, until you find the correct angle, and it may not always be the same one. What works best for me is when I can find an angle that allows the dildo, with each thrust into me, to sort of bounce off the prostate, the tip bumping against it and then the body gliding along it, and then reversing the process as the dildo moves back out of me.
The right sort of dildo will make all the difference here. Glass and metal dildos have the advantage that they are are extremely smooth, and with almost any decent lube they are very slippery. However, I find that really rigid dildos often seem to bump too hard into the prostate. If the dildo is too flexible, on the other hand, then it will sort of get pushed away from the prostate and not provide much stimulation. So you want something in between, something that will bump into the prostate with some force, but as the dildo continues its entry, flex enough to move along the prostate, rather than continuing to push into it.
I have found silicone dildos generally to be good for this use. On the other hand, I find that they never get really slippery, even with a great lube. The most slippery lubes are silicone-based, but of course you cannot use a silicone-based lube with a silicone dildo (unless you want to melt it). Using a condom on the dildo helps a lot, in my experience, and of course it makes clean up easier, too.
There is no particular need for the dildo to be curved, and a dramatic sort of curve will interfere with the in-and-out sort of motion you are trying to achieve. A mild curve can be useful, though, as can a good-sized handle. Remember, too, that any device used for anal penetration should have some kind of "flange" so that it does not get lost inside you.
Doing this solo, I find that it can be difficult to find a comfortable position that allows me both to achieve the right angle of penetration and to get enough force behind the thrusts to make for a truly satisfying experience. Lying on my back, it is nearly impossible to reach far enough down to angle the dildo the right way, even if I angle my hips upward using, say, a pillow. Doggy style works a bit better, since when I put my arm behind myself to grab the dildo, that naturally pulls it up towards my back and so helps achieve the right angle. But with one hand on the dildo, I have only one arm to support myself, which can quickly become tiring. What often works best is if I lie on my side, and then reach around behind myself. This is an easy position to maintain. Prone (that is, simply lying on my stomach) can work well, too.
Prostate Buddy brought about a whole new experience for me even though I've been doing prostate massage for years. – Di's Guy | http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-toys-for-men/prostate-massagers/prostate-buddy| Prostate buddy]
When I get the rhythm right, this is a wonderful way to play. I can use a shallow angle for a while, just screwing myself without worrying about my prostate. This feels fantastic by itself. As I've mentioned before, the tissues around the anus are exquisitely sensitive and it increases my arousal until I am ready for an orgasm. At that point, I can change the angle to one that does stimulate my prostate, have an orgasm, go back to screwing myself until I'm ready for another orgasm, and so forth.
I suspect that this kind of play is easier if you have a partner who can manipulate the dildo for you, though I confess I have never had that pleasure. And, obviously, if you have a partner who is prepared to wear a dildo, or one who has a fleshy penis of their own, then you have all kinds of additional possibilities to explore. But I have not had those pleasures, either, so I will not comment on them.
Still, there are other ways to go "hands free." I've had some luck mounting a dildo. Some years ago, for example, I had a vibrating dildo that had died. So I took out the vibrating mechanism from the base and mounted what was left on the end of a broomstick, or something of the sort, which I then was able to wedge under my mattress firmly enough that it would not move when I did. I could then get on my hands and knees, insert the dildo, and rock myself back and forth so that the dildo would go in and out of me. This is good for simulating intercourse, but it can be hard to get a good angle for stimulation of the prostate.
Similarly, many harnesses, especially items like the Thigh Leather Harness, can be mounted on pillows, or wrapped around sofa cushions, or what have you, and a dildo can then be attached to them. There are also various sorts of sex furniture that will accept a dildo, and these can be used as well. This does not work so well for serious thrusting, however, as there tends to be too much "play" in this kind of setup. That is, they move too much when I do.
But there is a different technique that has sometimes worked very well for me, namely, to insert the dildo as far as it will go, and then to rock my hips back and forth over it. This causes some slight in-and-out movement, but mostly it effects a kind of prostate massage, pushing the body of the dildo against the prostate as my hips rock back, then releasing the pressure as they rock forward, and so forth, over and over. This is a nice, "active" way to play, and it can give your hips quite a workout.
I suggest experimenting with where your "resting" position is. If you move your entire body forward a bit so that the base of the dildo moves back, then the part that is inside you will move toward the front of your body, i.e., towards your prostate. If you move your body back, then the dildo moves away from your prostate. This allows another degree of control over the amount of pressure that will be applied when you rock your hips.
We have seen, then, that there are several different ways to stimulate the prostate so as to bring about prostate orgasms. Not all of these methods will work for everyone, but all of them have worked for me, at least at some time or other, though even now some of them are more reliable than others. No one can know what will work for you and, as I have said, it will take time to learn how to orgasm in a new way. Only through practice and experimentation can you find what works and does not work for you.
If you're wondering whether to start trying, though, then let me just say this: you do not know what you are missing. If you did, you would not wonder; you would start right now. Prostate stimulation provides a depth and kind of sexual pleasure that is simply not available to people with prostates any other way, so far as I am aware.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them in the comments or to message me privately.