Okay, ladies... Here's the skinny. That thing about weight gain caused by birth control pills? Fahget about it! Next month's edition of Human Reproduction, a medical journal, will have in its pages what researchers are calling scientific proof that birth control pills don't cause weight gain.

A group of scientists at Oregon Health & Science University ran a series of tests on obese monkeys, and monkeys of normal weight. Scientists say testing primates is more accurate than testing humans because they can control things like food intake and exercise.


Ami by Je Joue

At the end of the study, the monkeys in the normal weight group maintained their weight, while the monkeys in the obese weight group actually lost weight thanks to an increase in metabolism believed to be caused by the pills.

Wait. So scientists made a bunch of monkeys unhealthily overweight, and then stuffed birth control pills down their throat to see if they could make them even fatter? Suddenly, the reaction of the chimps in Project X makes all the more sense.