When are you not a virgin?

I've gotten a few different answers on this, so I thought I'd ask here (now that I know about the boards).

Are you still considered a virgin if your first penetration was by something other than a man? Like, say a sex toy? I've heard yes, no, and an array of other answers. less

I've gotten a few different answers on this, so I thought I'd ask here (now that I know about the boards).

Are you still considered a virgin if your first penetration was by something other than a man? Like, say a sex toy? I've heard yes, no, and an array of other answers. less

IMO, penetration with an other person defines "losing" your virginity.

The hymen has nothing to do with it. Some women don't have hymens, some have stretchy ones, some have tight ones, and can still have sex with the hymen in place. Hymens can "break" from riding bicycles, horses, falling, masturbation all kinds of things.

I think if a girl is penetrated by an other female with a toy or even hands, it could qualify as "Cherry Poppin'" activity. But, (this probably isn't fair) in my mind, manual sex with a guy doesn't seem to fit the criteria of "losing" your virginity. Probably because the penis is considered the "thing" to pop a cherry in most societies. I didn't say it was "fair." It's just common perception.

Anal sex is one of those hazy things. I know young girls who consider themselves "technical virgins" and have supposedly never had PIV sex, but have anal regularly. I think that would count as "losing" your virginity. Also, it's hard to always keep the penis out of the vagina, especially if you are new to anal sex. It kind of slips in (and some people freak out, because of bacterial issues or pregnancy ones) But, I don't consider a young woman who has had anal sex a "Virgin." JMO.

Oddly, I had PIV and oral sex for decades before anal sex. So anal first is a little foreign to me. less

I really dislike the distinction of virgin altogether. The most sense I've been able to make of it is considering myself a ____ virgin, replacing the blank with any activity - e.g. an anal virgin, a blowjob virgin, etc.

Why is virginity so penetration-centric? Many men are never penetrated by a toy or another man, are they all virgins forever? What about lesbians who aren't interested in penetrative play? Or straight women for that matter? The definitions are just all too strict. It's really a meaningless distinction. I suppose I agree with Beth D that it is a personal thing. less

I've gotten a few different answers on this, so I thought I'd ask here (now that I know about the boards).

Are you still considered a virgin if your first penetration was by something other than a man? Like, say a sex toy? I've heard yes, no, and an array of other answers. less

I still consider myself a virgin because I've never had any kind of sex with someone. I think it's a personal thing, though. Some people have different factors they consider. It's my belief that an inanimate object can't take a person's virginity, broken hymen or not. But I also think that a woman doesn't have to have sex with a man to be considered no longer a virgin, that having sex with another woman does the 'trick', too. I think it's more mental than physical. Like 'I've had sex and am therefore no longer a virgin'.

If that makes any sense, lol less

I've gotten a few different answers on this, so I thought I'd ask here (now that I know about the boards).

Are you still considered a virgin if your first penetration was by something other than a man? Like, say a sex toy? I've heard yes, no, and an array of other answers. less

I still consider myself a virgin because I've never had any kind of sex with someone. I think it's a personal thing, though. Some people have different factors they consider. It's my belief that an inanimate object can't take a person's virginity, broken hymen or not. But I also think that a woman doesn't have to have sex with a man to be considered no longer a virgin, that having sex with another woman does the 'trick', too. I think it's more mental than physical. Like 'I've had sex and am therefore no longer a virgin'.

If that makes any sense, lol less

I personally believe that any masturbation, penetration or not, is not considered sex, therefore cannot take your virginity. Sex with ANY other person, whether male or female, and not just "standard" vaginal sex, but oral and anal sex as well is considered taking your virginity. less