When's the right time to tell a (straight) guy about your lesbian past? - from Em and Lo

Em & Lo Em & Lo
This week, a woman wrote to us at EMandLO.com to ask this: "When is it okay or advisable to share my lesbian past with a man I’m dating? I had a long-term, serious girlfriend when I was in school (a decade ago), and when men learn that I went to a women’s college, they all inevitably ask me if I ever “questioned my sexuality.” Some find the truth titillating or act like I’m their personal porn star (not always the greatest thing!) and some have found it intimidating or downright repellent — I’ve been dumped over this, if you can believe it.

I’ve always felt that honesty is the best policy, so I don’t want to lie, but I’ve also been told that a woman gets to have her secrets and that I don’t have to necessarily share all of my sexual or romantic history. I’m not actively bisexual, and I don’t want to be with women now or in the future — do my dates (or even my future partner) really need to know about my old flame? And if so, how do I know when it’s the right time to share this?"

So, what do you think? Is it don't-ask-don't-tell? Is honesty the best policy? Our readers are split down the middle -- check out what they have to say on the topic here.
07/06/2011
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