How has religion influenced your views on sex and sexuality?

Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
How has religion influenced your views on sex and sexuality? Has it been a positive, negative, or had no effect?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
My current religion has had a positive impact on my sexual attitudes.
48
My current religion has had a negative impact on my sexual attitudes.
12
My former religion has had a positive impact on my sexual attitudes.
3
My former religion has had a negative impact on my sexual attitudes.
38
Religious views of those around me have had a positive impact.
11
Religious views of those around me have had a negative impact.
41
Religion has had no effect on my sexual attitudes.
66
Other (please explain)
14
Total votes: 233 (167 voters)
Poll is closed
06/29/2009
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Contributor: Sir Sir
I'm not a religious person at all, really: I consider myself to not believe that there's a god, and I'm a very liberal person with many things. I feel that people should be able to do what they need to do in their life, as long as it doesn't put a person in harm that's not beneficial. People can be of whatever sexuality they want, and have whatever form of sex that they want, or have neither at all.

Personally, I'm a very kinky person and I'm also straight. That's my personal life though, and no one has a right to tell me that I can't live that way. If they don't want to, then they don't have to, it's their choice; just like it's my choice to do whatever I'm going to do in my bed and in my home.

I checked off a few, and one of them was that religious views of others have negatively impacted me because many of them have been very ignorant and imposing of their views on me.
06/30/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I'm not a religious person at all, really: I consider myself to not believe that there's a god, and I'm a very liberal person with many things. I feel that people should be able to do what they need to do in their life, as long as it ... more
That's an interesting take on that, I never considered that approach.


I voted that it has had no effect on me but using the logic that religion can have a negative impact with the ignorance and coercion people try to use on you.. Well maybe I have to rethink my answer.
06/30/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
My mother's family is comprised of extremely religious German Pentecostals, so they were very strict about "moral topics" such as sex, gender, family life, etcetera. My mom pressures my dad about religion sometimes, too, so he often defers to her in terms of "morality training." My parents never taught me anything about sex (nowadays they claim it was because "I had an older sister," but considering my sister still knows nothing about sex, fat lot of good that did me), and to an extent, I think that aided in the sexual abuse I endured as a child. I'm not blaming my parents, I'm just saying that their religious/moral convictions prevented them from being open with me at a time when I needed a running dialogue about the changes my body was undergoing. (I got my period way earlier than most of the girls in my grade, although I didn't develop physically until much later.)

My mother still is a very conservative woman, but as I've opened up a little more to her about my sexuality, and has she's grown to respect the fact that her children are not living in The Old Country in the 30s, she's loosened up a little. She still wishes I'd have gotten a simple job, stayed a virgin for a nice husband, and raised a gaggle of uber-Christian children, but more than anything, she wants what's best for me.

I am a devout Quaker whose many friends tend to be atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, and non-denominational Christians with big hearts and ready minds, so I definitely think that my current religion has improved my sexual health and influenced me to become a better person. For example, the Society of Friends is big on charity, including the sharing of knowledge, and I've made it my personal duty to make sure people don't continue to spout misguided sexual information.
06/30/2009
Contributor: adirondacker adirondacker
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I'm not a religious person at all, really: I consider myself to not believe that there's a god, and I'm a very liberal person with many things. I feel that people should be able to do what they need to do in their life, as long as it ... more
Sir, I don't think I could have said it any better then you, I feel the same exact way.
06/30/2009
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Nuns spanking the hell out of me as a child had a huge impact on my sexuality. I put other, though, cuz it's pretty much a neutral sort of impact; neither good nor bad, to me.
07/08/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
I grew up in a Fundamentalist family and I learned early on that they knew nothing, IMO, about anything. Their views on sex were more than puritanical, and they showed me how I DIDN'T want to live my life.

I think sex is for our enjoyment and should have no restrictions placed on it, other than the preferences of the parties involved, and sexual practices or issues should not be legislated by church or government.

I am not into "religion" because by definition, it is man-made, but I do acknowlege my spirituality and my connection to the universe. So, for me right now, religion has no bearing on my sexual life at all.
07/09/2009
Contributor: Rev. J. Arthur Rank Rev. J. Arthur Rank
I feel that many mainstream religions out there have a negative impact on sexual relations, even when supposedly condoned by the religion. This is because most mainstream religions use guilt to get people into its power. That's the main reason I started my sexually-friendly church.
07/09/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by adirondacker
Sir, I don't think I could have said it any better then you, I feel the same exact way.
Well, thank you.
07/17/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I was raised with the proper amount of Catholic do's and don'ts. I learned exactly what "good girls" don't do and what they should do. I believed these early lesson...I lived these early lessons. I was miserable and did my best to make sure everyone around me could see what a shining example of domestic bliss I was, except as I said before I was miserable. My husband did what he learned from his parents and we tried to live with his infidelities and mine, after all he was a guy so having a sexual fling was almost normal, and my having too many destructive but emotionally draining "friendships" was normal, so long as we were quiet about it then we were doing what good married folk are supposed too. My mother even told me it wasn't really necessary for us to be happy or want to spend time together! I love spending time with my husband, what a lesson to learn!
My faith as a Wiccan has taught me that to be miserable is the worst thing you can do to yourself. The Gods are not the sex police and as long as you ain't hurting anyone they really couldn't care less who or what you fuck! As a family we openly embrace all forms of human sexuality and expressions thereof as part of our religious beliefs. We acknowledge the Sacred Hermaphrodite (yes I know the word has negative connotations to some people but I'm speaking in the religious sense not derogatory)and as long as we are keeping our bodies safe, and healthy we live according to our first law, Harm None.
I would say that my former religious understanding was incredibly negative...notice I admit that it was MY understanding at fault not the Church's, now I accept and have become comfortable with my otherness and live according to the understanding I currently embrace, which is really all one can expect of one's self in my opinion.
07/21/2009
Contributor: onezestygal onezestygal
I am not religious, in fact I would probably consider myself agnostic. However, my boyfriend's family consists of devout Christians and I feel that their strict expectations of me and my boyfriend have definitely hindered our love life as well as our ability to be intimate.

I also appreciate Sir's statement and agree with him and adirondacker
11/15/2009
Contributor: EffinSara EffinSara
I'm an atheist. My lack of religion may or may not have had a positive impact on my sexual attitudes. My sexual attitudes may or may not have been a part of my questioning religion in the first place... at age 14.
11/15/2009
Contributor: MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
I was raised a Catholic, but I no longer consider myself to be very religious. I jus couldn't be a part of something that put so many restrictions on how people lived their lives, carried out their relationships, or even who they should love. I agree with Sir that people should be able to live life the way they want as long as they aren't bringing harm upon anyone else.
11/15/2009
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
My up bringing as a Catholic had none of the usual nun abuse that so many speak off. Nor has there been a negative effect on the sexuality that my wife and I share. I support monogamy - so that makes me a monster to those who don't agree. I don't judge people who are different - most religious are the same. There are exceptions - but they are no more onerous than those who call me homophobic just because I do not agree them.

This is probably the wrong forum for a discussion about religion - but since everyone has weighed in how awful religion is - I thought I'd put in a word for those of who have a different point of view.
01/18/2010
Contributor: Bellastorme Bellastorme
Quote:
Originally posted by Femme Mystique
How has religion influenced your views on sex and sexuality? Has it been a positive, negative, or had no effect?
I am wiccan and I feel that my religion has been very positive to my sexuality.
01/18/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by MuffysPinguLove
I was raised a Catholic, but I no longer consider myself to be very religious. I jus couldn't be a part of something that put so many restrictions on how people lived their lives, carried out their relationships, or even who they should love. I ... more
Same background here. I had to learn about sex from listening in on my older brothers, talks with my friends, and watching "Skinemax". Needless to say, I had a very distorted impression of real sex. My Mom was too embarrassed to talk much about it.
07/04/2010
Contributor: David88 David88
I think there needs to be a delineation between religion as an organization or group and religion as in a personal relationship with God. I know growing up that a lot of church's either don't talk on sex at all or if they do, they basically just say what you shouldn't do not the things you CAN do. So in this aspect, I think that can be a negative but in knowing that my God wishes for me to have a happy healthy active sex life is a positive thing for me and gives me great liberty to enjoy what he's given me.
07/16/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
My up bringing as a Catholic had none of the usual nun abuse that so many speak off. Nor has there been a negative effect on the sexuality that my wife and I share. I support monogamy - so that makes me a monster to those who don't agree. I ... more
Naw it doesn't make you a monster it makes you a monogamist! Nothing wrong with monogamy.
Religion isn't awful at all but religious zealotry is. Having something to believe in that creats a framework for your life is wonderful, being open to other points of view is what makes you truly a light for your own faith.
People are entitled to their beliefs even if they are quite impossible for others to understand or agree with...even and especially you Gunsmoke!
Like I said in my post it wasn't the Church that caused me the problems but my understanding of it's teachings. That you have found something wonderful in the Catholic Church to embrace is, well, wonderful. My life partner identifies as Catholic and defies anyone to tell him he isn't...he loves his faith and his God and I love him for his convictions.
There's room here and in this world for differing opinions thanks for having the courage to share yours.
07/17/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
I call myself a cafeteria Catholic. I pick what I want to believe in and don't touch the rest. That being said, I am viciously pro-choice and believe in condom use and other birth control. My entire family is composed of dyed in the wool conservatives who think it's ok and actually ENCOURAGE my teenaged cousins to get pregnant and have children at the ages of 15, 16, whatever. They are also anti-Catholic. They're strict German everything and are just very...to put it bluntly, I can't stand my fucking family and I don't like being around them at all.

I live with my dad and he converted us to catholicism when I was 9 and I love him for it. Since then I've grown to learn more about the church and its stance on birth control and the like and decided what to believe in for myself. Jesus ain't got a place in my bedroom. I beleive it's not impossible to be sexual and religious, but it's just not something for me. Ok I misspoke because I totally scream dieties in bed but that's different. It's not really praise, more like crying out for help...

Am I going to hell?
07/17/2010
Contributor: PonyPlay PonyPlay
I was always very irritated that most religions teach that sex is a sin even if you are married I have read the bible front to back and no where did it say that sex was a sin when you are married it says don't do everyone but it says nothing about not having sex when you are married. I even found scriptures that say that you should not deny your partner sexual intimacy. I am a very liberal person and I do believe in the bible I just don't believe that most religions understand what the bible says and somehow sex always got labeled as a sin when here is a question, if god created us to have sex and have sex drive then why would it be a sin?
07/29/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
I use to be religious, but not anymore, so it doesn't effect my sex life in anyway now, but before very negatively!
07/29/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by PonyPlay
I was always very irritated that most religions teach that sex is a sin even if you are married I have read the bible front to back and no where did it say that sex was a sin when you are married it says don't do everyone but it says nothing ... more
Yep, Yep, Yep. Christianity has moral stipulations about who you have sex with but not what you do as long as you do it in love.

The "sex is bad" idea came in from other ideas in the Mediterranean/mideast (form of dualism, the idea that the spirit is good and the world or flesh is bad) via gnosticism, and unfortunately (and strangely) seemed to take hold rather than be discarded as heresy, possibly due to misconstruction of some of Paul's writings.
07/29/2010
Contributor: PonyPlay PonyPlay
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Yep, Yep, Yep. Christianity has moral stipulations about who you have sex with but not what you do as long as you do it in love.

The "sex is bad" idea came in from other ideas in the Mediterranean/mideast (form of dualism, the idea ... more
Actually I'm amazed at how many scriptures are taken out of context. It's most like because Christianity twisted the bible and adopted pagan belief so that they could convince them to join them. It seems like the majority of those that say they are Christian are stepped in pagan tradition. And also the idea of celibacy that so permeates that Catholic church is very unfounded because the greater majority of the profits including Peter (Who is declared by the Church as a Saint) were married.
07/29/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I was raised totally without any religion. In college, I became a Catholic thanks to a priest that was realistic about sex. (Never had sex with him) Sex being a gift from God and it is good but how we use it is the issue. Not to be selfish, use sex as a weapon and so many other negatives. I totally enjoy sex and am always amazed and excited by how my body responds and what I can do for a partner.
07/30/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Femme Mystique
How has religion influenced your views on sex and sexuality? Has it been a positive, negative, or had no effect?
Well, I do want to stay with one person for marriage, wanted to save losing my virginity for marriage, although I still do believe in gay rights.
08/02/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I'm an atheist and was raised without religion (but not *as* an atheist), so it has had no bearing on my views of sex and sexuality.
08/13/2010
Contributor: Jessica Rose Jessica Rose
I grew up Catholic and at least in my family, sex had a lot of negative strings attached on religious grounds. I experienced a lot of guilt when I first started experimenting because of my family's religious beliefs.
09/09/2010
Contributor: mllebeauty mllebeauty
The religion I was raised has not had much of an effect either way on my sexuality. What had much more of an impact was the culture and society I grew up in and how my family processed that. My experience has been that women are generally censured by society from expressing their sexuality. We are not empowered, but made to feel as though it is wrong and guilty. Every now and then that pops up for me. It's one of the reasons a community such as EF is so powerful.
09/29/2010
Contributor: wondertoes wondertoes
I think religion has had maybe some impact, but not to the point where it influences all of my actions. To me, church shouldn't be involved with my sex life, or anyone else's!
10/12/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
My past religion had no effect on my sexuality bcs I was too young when I attended and I never went back when I was old ebough to understand.

My current religious (albeit more spiritual than religious) views include sexuality inside them so it's all good.
10/26/2010