Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Poll
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes- they're fantastic
100  (48%)
Yes- they're a bad idea
37  (18%)
No- I'd never want one
50  (24%)
No- but I'd like to try it sometime
23  (11%)
Total votes: 210
Poll is closed
11/27/2010
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Jobthingy Jobthingy
Yup! I had my go to guy when I was single for years. It was great. I would go there after a late night, have at'er most of the night, pass out and he would even get up early and make me bacon and eggs. I was lucky
11/27/2010
lamira lamira
Yes, I had a friend with benefits for about 2 years. It was a horrible idea, because I eventually developed feelings for him, and he did not for me, and instead developed feelings for other women.
11/27/2010
fabjennie fabjennie
Several of them!
11/28/2010
Waterfall Waterfall
I have had a few friends with benefits, and still have one or two as I am single. I enjoy this type of relationship while I am busy with school and stuff. However, I would prefer a committed relationship when I am ready.
11/28/2010
Penguin Penguin
Plenty when I was younger, but the older you get, the more complicated it gets.
11/28/2010
Destri Destri
oh yeah, had two actually. It was great. no need for one now, thank goodness.
11/28/2010
Trashley Trashley
Ever since I lost my virginity, it's basically all I've had. I get bored with listening to people drone on about their days. I'd rather have someone fun that I can kick out whenever I like and switch it up without feeling guilty. The only bad part is if you're really good friends they tend to get attached eventually :/
11/28/2010
heaven360 heaven360
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
feelings get involved all bad
11/28/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I've had some. It was fun, but I can't say I loved it. I don't think it was a bad idea either. At the time it was right. I needed to explore my dominant side with someone who was willing to be my submissive (hubby isn't but he knew about it and was supportive). Now I'm just chilling. I've found that once you cut off the benefits, those "friends" aren't really friends after all. Out of about 6 FWB's I've had over past 4 years, only 1 still talks with me as friends and expects nothing.
11/28/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Tried it - it turned into a full blown affair (he realized it first and dumped me without telling me it was over or why). I get emotionally involved, it's the way I am. I never knew it until I tried it, so it helped in establishing what I want/need in my relationships.

I suppose my answer to the poll would be 'Yes, had them, but they're not for me'. I certainly can't make a blanket statement that they're 'fantastic' or 'bad'. Just not my thing.
11/28/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Not my thing - sex without some emotional connection has never been an interest of mine.
11/28/2010
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I have had one before. He was already my friend and we both just kind of decided to see what it would be like to do this. I was upset when he decided he didn't want to do it anymore, though I am fine now and we are still friends.
11/29/2010
Vanand Vanand
I don't know what I have. He says we are fwb. I think it is more, but what, exactly, I have no clue.

I am in a living situation (that I need to get out of, but I live for free for now, so I can't complain too much) where I am not allowed to have people over. So, I go to his house. We don't go out and do things. But, I go to his place, usually in the evening. He usually watches tv, I sit next to or near him, waiting for his attention. We might have sex, and then he generally falls asleep. This is the type of relationship I had with my husband. This doesn't feel like fwb to me.

He told me early on that he was starting to get attached... and I can't have any relationship without some feelings. But, he doesn't seem to want my attachment. And he has changed. He has stopped with the pet names and being cute. We used to go out and do things. We don't anymore.

Unfortunately, this is the best sex I've had in over 15 years... since my first bf, my college bf. I can't just let this one go. :-( I don't know what to do.

I had a relationship this summer where I was just a booty call. I really got nothing out of it.

If you are "friends", shouldn't we do things once in a while, other than sit around and have sex? I am constantly confused and frustrated. And I guess I don't know what fwb is supposed to be. But, it seems to me, that isn't what we have, either.
12/22/2010
Vanand Vanand
Sorry - think my computer is freaking out. I hit the post button once and suddenly it posted a million times. :-(
12/22/2010
joja joja
I lost my virginity to a friend with benefits, and it was a good experience

I think FWB can work well, but like any "relationship" they require a certain amount of communication and boundary setting. Mine eventually went sour for two reasons:

1. He was way too into me. Mutual friends tell me he still talks about me to this day, and we haven't seen each other in almost two years.

2. Since we didn't see each other aside from our "dates," there was always an implicit expectation that we'd be having sex. I didn't like feeling like I owed him sex just because I agreed to come over. He didn't pressure me, but I pressured myself!
12/22/2010
Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
i've got a few and still close with the ones that i'm not sleeping with anymore
12/23/2010
Liz Liz
Yep! We set pretty clear boundaries and rules from the start, and it worked very well. It was a good thing for me during a time in my life when I wasn't really interested in being in a serious relationship. We parted ways after about a year, and still talk occasionally.
12/23/2010
MissTay MissTay
Quote:
Originally posted by lamira
Yes, I had a friend with benefits for about 2 years. It was a horrible idea, because I eventually developed feelings for him, and he did not for me, and instead developed feelings for other women.
I did too, and I will never do that again. No doubt, he also KNEW I had feelings for him and he took advantage of that. Started treating me like dirt, and now we no longer speak. Its not a wise idea especially when feelings are involved.
12/23/2010
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I used to keep a few on hand when I was in high school. I met my husband my first week of college, so I didn't really get a chance then.
12/23/2010
KnK KnK
..I'm actually broaching this topic with a man friend of mine. He smiled as I said it on the way out and said he'd love to talk more about it when I'm back in town. I am too. I think he's honestly one of the only people I could ever feel comfortable doing this with
12/24/2010
Envy Envy
Not my thing, i want to actually be dating the person.
12/24/2010
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I slept with a friend about four times. I still don't know if what we had counted as friends with benefits. After the third time I fell in love with him, and told him. He didn't feel the same, but still was willing to sleep with me, which surprised me. I thought I had scared him away. While it wasn't all fun and roses, it was an adventure. And I can't wait for my next adventure, whether it's a relationship, a friend with benefits, or whatever.
01/03/2011
ToxicHeart ToxicHeart
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Not my thing, i want to actually be dating the person.
Same with me.
01/03/2011
sweet seduction sweet seduction
I used to before I got married. He was amazing!
01/06/2011
liilii080 liilii080
I have a bad habit of getting attached so I'm pretty cautious before I fall into bed with someone.
01/10/2011
After the Morning After After the Morning After
i have had a great deal of friends with benefits, or sometimes just acquaintances with benefits. I love sex, and sometimes it can make a friendship stronger and it is a lot of fun.

I write about all my embarrassing and exciting sexual encounters on my blog:

link
01/12/2011
sbon sbon
No, not my thing.
01/13/2011
Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
Yeah, and it was a bad bad idea. I should have just left my stalker girlfriend and been with the other girl but I was too much of a coward. Because that stalker girlfriend was the one who took my virginity.
01/14/2011
buzzvibe buzzvibe
Yep, only back in my day we called them Fuck Buddies. This was before I discovered sex toys, though.
01/14/2011
Total posts: 111
Unique posters: 102