What do you do when...

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What do you do when...

Beck Beck
your spouse's friend, co/worker, family member, or someone else they know hits on you, gropes you, says something highly inappropriate, or something along those lines?

Please explain below. This poll is private with multiple answers.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I ingore it...
1
I tell my SO.
43
I don't tell my SO.
4
I punch them in the face!
11
I laugh it off, but feel uncomfortable around them.
20
I laguh it off and I am turned on.
I am flattered.
5
I am offended .
29
I am not sure how to handle it??
16
Other
11
Total votes: 140 (62 voters)
Poll is closed
03/26/2012
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js250 js250
I guess I bartended too long and also have a thing about people touching me inappropriately. I told one person to get their f@#king hands off of me, if it happened again or if I even thought they were going to try anything again, I would tell my SO. And hubby's ass kicking would be very mild compared to what I would do. (My hubby grew up in a really bad area and has had to fight down and dirty most of his life there. He is also a very big and seriously muscular man, very intimidating!!) I said this in a very quiet but dead serious tone of voice and had my "F" with me I dare you smile on. It worked! He faded out of my hubby's best buddies and is now an aquaintance, thank goodness.
03/26/2012
Beck Beck
I have had this happen to me a few times. I always thought it was a bad idea to tell my hubby because it would just create an issue. At a Christmas party hubbies boss grabbed my ass. I laughed it off because we all had been drinking and I figured it would create an unnecessary problem at work, so I decided to keep my mouth shut.

Not too long ago, my hubbies friend, who I can't stand for many valid reasons, had brush against my breast and made a really inappropriate comment. I have never told hubby, but when he comes over, usually uninvited, I feel really uncomfortable around him.

I always thought is was best to let them find out on their own that person is not the kind of person you want around. I usually just laugh it off and feel uncomfortable around that person. Then I try to avoid being around them especially alone.
03/26/2012
corsetsaurus rex corsetsaurus rex
The rules are really simple: you touch me without explicit invitation to do so, I get to touch you in an equally unwelcome way. There is certainly a telling-off involved, and while I may not go so far as punching a dude, a painful little wrist lock or high-heel to their toes is not unheard of.

This is, of course, assuming that they are wildly inappropriate and intending to be intimidating or gross by groping. I've had friends give me a drunken pat on the rear as a joke, and that's easily laughed off.

Either way, if it gets back to my mate, it gets back to him, but I don't go out of my way to cause issues with him and his friends when I can easily take care of myself.
03/26/2012
Kdlips Kdlips
hit them
03/26/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I would let my spouse know. That is so messed up and then knowing my temper I would probably curse him out and ask how the hell he can do that to his friend.
03/26/2012
SexysaurousRex SexysaurousRex
i would be offended. unwelcome advances are just that unwelcome. especially if they know you are in a relationship. i'd still talk to them but i'd tell them to knock off making moves cause i'm not interested.

of course it could be more confusing if they were interested in both you and your SO. i don't know what to do in that situation.
03/26/2012
Taylor Taylor
Usually when it happens I say something along the lines of "that is completely inappropriate and you will not touch me that way." I usually make sure to say it in a loud and serious voice so everyone else around me can hear and hopefully they will be made uncomfortable and leave me alone after that. I don't try and draw it out though, just a clear and concise statement so they get the point that it's not okay to do that. I would most likely tell my SO as well, but I wouldn't dwell on it and try and make it into something that will blow up into a big mess.
03/26/2012
lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
your spouse's friend, co/worker, family member, or someone else they know hits on you, gropes you, says something highly inappropriate, or something along those lines?

Please explain below. This poll is private with multiple answers.
i hit on them back
03/26/2012
RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
I try to brush them off. If that doesn't work, I get in their face and let them know that I don't want the attention.

It didn't work one time... it got... unpleasant...
03/26/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
This has not happened to me, but if it did I would let them know, in NO uncertain terms, that it was unacceptable and they had better not think about doing it again.
03/26/2012
dhig dhig
usually tell my SO, don't enjoy it
03/26/2012
cocomo cocomo
im blindsided and grossed out usually let down
03/27/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
your spouse's friend, co/worker, family member, or someone else they know hits on you, gropes you, says something highly inappropriate, or something along those lines?

Please explain below. This poll is private with multiple answers.
i'd tell him/her to BACK OFF and tell your SO as soon as you can in private.
03/27/2012
Lucky21 Lucky21
I tell me SO. I just believe that being open and honest is really important.
03/27/2012
ellejay ellejay
I'd be offended if someone groped me. :/
03/27/2012
Marcianpro Marcianpro
I'd put a stop to it from the beginning
03/27/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I don't have any assets to get groped, but if someone groped me I'd confront them right then and there and tell them that I DO NOT appreciate you touching me and to back off. Then I'd probably punch them. Of course I would tell my husband and then the guy would be glad it was just me punching him because my husbands a black belt in martial arts and the other guy wouldn't appreciate the force of a roundhouse kick to the face.
03/31/2012
Ciao. Ciao.
I've not had that problem, but while I might be able to brush it off if it happened just once and not tell my SO (I"d still be definitely offended/grossed out), I definitely wouldn't ignore it if things kept happening. Regardless of the context an unwanted/inappropriate action like that is not something that is okay.
03/31/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I usually tell my husband when this happens... and then feel uncomfortable around the person anyway. Once or twice he's had to say something to someone. It's always uncomfortable. Usually, people who do this more than once, or don't understand or don't care that it was not appreciated fall out of our social group. Everyone knows My Man and I are monogamous right now, and most people respect it.

There is also a huge difference between a guy friend of ours saying, "P'Gell, you look really beautiful in that dress today." and say it in a way just to be nice, and someone actually hitting on me. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Something like, "Hey sweetheart, why don't you ditch that old man and meet me later at _____ for some fun." would be considered completely inappropriate.

Also, if it's completely innocent, (and not aggressive or creepy) I know My Man sometimes gets a kick out of it. He told me recently that at a High School reunion function, he pointed me out to an old buddy of his (who I also knew from long ago) and the friend said, "Her? OMG. Wow. You dog!" It was completely innocent, he was doing nothing more than "congratulating&q uot; My Man on his wife and it never went any further. In fact I didn't find out until much later. The man never said anything to me and My Man said it was done in a appropriate manner, so something like that was OK.
03/31/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
But, actual groping? Hell no! That would be have a stop put to it immediately.
03/31/2012
MissCandyland MissCandyland
I would be offended and tell my SO because obviously this person knows you are in a relationship. It is disrespectful.
03/31/2012
Ansley Ansley
It's always flattering to be complimented or hit on and it's not something I get offended over (Dr. Phil impression) unless and until they keep hitting on me after I've said:

"Do you see that 6'1, 215 lb man who loves me more than life itself glaring at you from the corner? He's my husband and I highly suggest you turn around and walk away and don't talk to me for the rest of the day. Kthx."

We're pretty inseparable when we are out in public so the opportunities for this to happen are few and far between.
03/31/2012
Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
I had something like this happen to me the other day. I was out with my SO, who is moving away soon, and his friend sat down with us. When my man got up to go to the bathroom, his friend came up to me and said, "You know he's moving...if you decide to start looking, you know how to get a hold of me." My face turned bright red and I texted my man about it. Later on, we were all sitting there, me trying to be civil, and my guy said something stupid like he usually does, and his friend leans over him and says to me, "Why do you put up with this crap?" We left right away because he made me so uncomfortable. Now, whenever we see him at the bar, he just stares at us.
03/31/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
I would probably laugh it off and feel uncomfortable around that person. But I would tell my girl because I would want her to tell me if something like that happened to her.
03/31/2012
Sex Positivity Sex Positivity
I've never had his family/co-workers hit on me, but I had a stranger, much older than I am, grab my ass in line at the supermarket the other day. In interest of full disclosure about why it bothered me so much, I'm the survivor of many, many sexual assaults. So I whipped around with my knife in my hand (it's little and unlikely to do real damage, but it still looks frightening) and told him if he ever touched me again, I would not only cut his fingers off, but would press charges on him as well.

He took the hint, but I left the store sobbing without my groceries because it brought up so much for me. I told my SO that night and he was furious, but proud of me for standing up for myself, when I usually would just let it happen and then have nightmares and flashbacks for the rest of the week.
03/31/2012
marrythenight marrythenight
for work (I work retail): if it's a customer, I ignore/laugh it off and try to get them out of the store asap. if it's something that makes me super uncomfortable, I will tell a manager, and they can kick people out of the store. and if it's a co-worker, definitely tell a manager or call the tipline. at least with working for a corporation, there are people up the ladder that others have to answer to, so you can usually keep people from getting away with it, and thankfully nothing has really happened to me.

in other situations, I just get away, ASAP, if I can, basically. typically I'm so shocked I can't come up with anything witty to chew people out with, let alone throw a punch or something.
03/31/2012
humblepie humblepie
If someone just hits on me, I'm kind of uncomfortable and try to laugh it off, and tell them I'm not interested. For me, that's not worth telling an SO about unless it's particularly noteworthy, like they used a terrible pick up line or something.

If someone touches me inappropriately, however, I'm more worried about resisting because I worry that they'll react negatively. I usually just try to get out of the situation and avoid them from that point on. If I feel threatened by someone I definitely tell my SO.
04/01/2012
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
your spouse's friend, co/worker, family member, or someone else they know hits on you, gropes you, says something highly inappropriate, or something along those lines?

Please explain below. This poll is private with multiple answers.
it depends on the situation..I would tell my so on some curcumstances but laugh and deal with feeling uncomfortable
04/01/2012
jmex83 jmex83
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
your spouse's friend, co/worker, family member, or someone else they know hits on you, gropes you, says something highly inappropriate, or something along those lines?

Please explain below. This poll is private with multiple answers.
id be seriously upset and would tell my wife and say something to the person that did it
04/01/2012
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Total posts: 41
Unique posters: 38