Who is Buck Angel? So far, we’ve heard transman, adult film-maker, educator, speaker, and advocate – let’s learn more about Buck’s life and his experiences. What has the journey been like for the first FTM transsexual porn star? Buck calls himself “The Man With A Pussy” – how do people react to him being so forthright?
When Buck Angel first started doing adult films and photo shoots, he had no idea where it might take him. In the beginning, Buck was surprised by how many people seemed to feel threatened by him. But as time went on, he saw just how much he affected and inspired people; whether with sexuality, gender, self-acceptance, or just everyday life. Buck was the first FTM to be signed to a major adult film studio before he started his own entertainment company; he has since been nominated for, and has won many, awards including both AVN and XBiz Transsexual Performer of the Year and the Feminist Porn Awards over the last few years.
Buck is currently working on his first feature documentary about sexuality and transmen, which is a whole new field for him. He has been reaching out to transmen and their partners internationally. We have to wonder, what are some of the challenges he’s personally faced as a man who continues to make big changes worldwide about how people see gender? Buck spoke at Sex Week at Yale University this year. He was also recently immortalized with a golden life-sized sculpture by artist Marc Quinn, which was shown in NYC at the Armory show, and is now opening in London in May, and will continue to show around the world. He travels quite a bit; he just got back from Amsterdam last week and is off to Finland next week. Buck told us that his mission is to help make the world a better place and to teach tolerance and love – we’re happy to have him here and are looking forward to learning more!
I don't know if this a question you'd be willing to answer, but I've always been curious: who did your top surgery?My surgeon is Dr. Gary Alter in Beverly Hills, Ca. I was his first transsexual man. He has performed surgery on many MTF before me. I picked him because of his specialty with gynecomastia. I felt like that was what I had. He performed the keyhole on me and that was a very new procedure at the time.
Being unique brings it's own set of challenges. A "man with a pussy" is pretty far removed from what many people are familiar with. What's the most common—and/or frustrating—misconception that you've had to deal with? And what is the best way you've found to deal with ignorance?HAA!! You could say that. But when I started calling myself "The Man with a pussy" I knew that it would put many people in a place that they would be a bit offended. It was like I had to throw it in your face in order to get respect, if that makes sense.
Many people think that I had a sex change to become a porn star. I know it's totally crazy and cracks me up. Some people think that I became a pornographer because I had no other choice in this world and as a transsexual that was all I could do. WOW! now that is frustrating and a bit ignorant. But I realized that my work is really about education and so with that I don't get upset at what people think of me or questions they ask. So bring it on!
Victoria (host): "You must have a very thick skin! You do make a good point about getting it out in the open right away. It takes strong character to be so open and patient with people!"
Have you ever gotten amusing/ insulting responses or attitudes from co-stars?On the set of the Titan film Cirque Noir. When my co-star was eating my pussy and he looked up at me and said" Wow man they did a really great job". I was like what do you mean? He said" with your pussy it looks so real" HA!! I cracked up so hard. I told him" Dude it is real I was born a female and had a sex change to a male" He was totally blown away. That is one of the funniest things that has happened on set.
We had a poll a few months ago about condom usage in porn flicks. What are your views about the role of porn stars when it comes to teaching safer sex practices? Personally, I feel it should be up to the individual what risks they are willing to take but I'm curious what an actual performer feels about the subject.This is my mission in the adult entertainment world! I am a huge safe sex advocate. I only make safe sex films. My belief is that I am an educator with my films and that safe sex is the only way now. I do not understand making films without condoms. What is wrong with wearing a condom?
You can do whatever you like in your private life but my films get shown all over the world and it's my duty to show hot safe sex because I influence people and the way they look at sex.
Many people in my industry think that just getting a test is enough. Well it's not about just you your showing people that not using a condom is ok, It's not ok.
Victoria (host): "This is such a great answer and such an important standard. Thank you for being so conscious of teaching safe sex!"
Do you find it difficult to find "Born Men" to co-star with you ? Was there a lot of resistance from the Gay Male Community ?
AfroDisaicHey! Good to see you.
Oh man when I started it was a nightmare to find guys to shoot with me. No one wanted to be the first because they weren't sure how people would react or if they would get more work. Many guys were ok fucking me off camera or with a hood on.
But now, Well things have changed that's for sure. I have no problem getting guys now to work for me. In fact I get tons of emails from guys wanting to work with me now. It is so strange to watch things change. All for the better.
What led you to the adult film industry? Was it your intention to inspire and increase awareness or was that just a happy eventual bi-product of your career choice?I was working in the adult industry making fetish films with a dominatrix. I was also doing website work for a transsexual woman. That is when I realized there was no one doing any FTM porn on the net. I decided to start my own website and the rest is history.
When I first started it was basically because I saw an opening in the adult world my intention was not to really bring awareness but more to start something new. But as it started to grow I realized it was bigger than that.
What's it like to know there is a life-size gold representation of you touring the world?Totally amazing and weird at the same time. When I first saw the finished product I was a bit freaked out to look at it. It was so strange to see myself like that. I was picking my body apart. But now I am just so honored to be a part of Marc Quinns show. He is such an amazing artist and person.
I feel like I have achieved a whole new level of success.
What are some things that you like to do when you're not working on your films? You are very well-built - are there any sports that you like for recreation?You know working for yourself can be a bitch sometimes because you can never really get away from work. But when I do make that effort I love to just watch movies or take long drives to the beach here in Mexico. Smoking cigars is also something I do on my downtime. I am also a big gym fan and though it is part of my business to have a good body I also really like going and feel like it is also a hobby.
Do people ask you questions about your body that you consider too personal? I have to imagine that sex workers experience boundary violations regularly. Do you find this to be true? Do you think it happens more often because of your unique status as a FTM porn star?I am actually pretty open to all kinds of questions so I don't get offended by that. I feel like I put myself out there so I have to deal with it. The thing that really gets me irritated is when people just think I will have sex with them or kiss them. Now that is a real boundary violation for me. Just because I am a sex worker does not mean I fuck everyone. it's my business. It's like being a tax attorney and then everyone thinks that you will just do their taxes for free. Boundaries are very important!
I am not sure if it's because I am FTM but maybe because I am so unique in the adult world so people get more excited.
Of all of the places you've been, where is your favorite?HOME!! I always love coming home. I live in the Yucatan. It is paradise. I travel the world and always love to come back to my home. My family is here and that is the most important thing in the world to me.
Have you been approached by any muscle or fitness sites or magazines for an interview? I wouldn't be surprised, as your physique is quite impressive!WOW! That's so cool thanks! I don't think I am at that level really. But that would be cool. Once I met this famous bodybuilder at a club for transsexuals and he came up to me and told me what a big fan he was. That was so awesome.
I am always feeling like my body is not perfect enough. So thanks for saying that.
Do you ever feel dysphoric now? Also, when you were younger or before you physically transitioned, did you feel a lot of dysphoria? Has being in the porn industry helped you become more comfortable in your body?I feel so totally comfortable with myself now it's kinda scary!! I never in a million years would have thought that I would get to this level of comfort with myself let alone my body.
Before my change I hated myself and never thought that I would live to see this day. I wanted so badly to be male to have people look at me as male and that was just not the case. It was very tough to be in that body on a daily basis.
The porn industry is the turning point for me. It is the reason I am here. I was handed something that has changed my life for the better and now helps me to educate others to help them except themselves.
Are you married? How much has your partner affected your life and goals?I am married to a wonderful woman who is my soul mate. Many people want to ask me this question which I usually find very personal and has nothing to do with my work but sometimes I think it helps people to get a sense of me as just a regular guy.
My partner is female and many people don't understand that because they think I am gay. My porn life and personal life are two totally different things, Plus I am not into labeling myself. If my wife would have been a man I would have married him too. It has nothing to do with her gender and everything to do with the person she is.
Without her I would not be sitting here. She has been very instrumental in my career. She has been supportive from day one and pushes me to achieve more everyday. My life is wonderful and like I said in the other question it's all about my family! without them I am nothing.
Victoria (host): "This answer perfectly highlights why you are such a good good man! (and it was a pleasure meeting your wife a few months ago, she emanates positive energy). :)"
I wish I had a question to ask, but I can't think of a single one. I'm just really glad I've got a chance here to metaphorically stand up and give you a round of applause and thank you for all of your amazing, fascinating work.
Bravo!Thanks for writing. I appreciate the kind words. If you think of a question, let me know!
Hello Buck. I am a paralyzed male who has lost his penis. Is there a surgery available that could turn my private area into a vagina?Hi, Wow I have been meeting lots of biological men who ask the same question. Yes, there is a surgery for this. In fact, it is easier to do surgery to change male genitals to become a vagina than to create a penis on someone who was born female.
One of the guys I met went to Thailand to have the surgery done.
He met me at my hotel in Minneapolis a week after his surgery to show me his new vagina. I had been a big inspiration for him to go through with the surgery. He told me he had always felt that he wanted to have a vagina, but still be a man--ever since he could remember. But he couldn't express these feelings because he thought nobody would understand. Then when he found out about me, he realized he could live as a man with a vagina and he is now very happy. I helped to change this man's life forever and that is one of the reasons I feel so happy about my work.
If you need any more info, email me and I will look into it for you.
Hey Buck! I'm a big fan of yours; it's great to have positive representation of trans men in porn that begins to venture outside of fetishing porn that views trans porn stars are fetishes in and of themselves. I have a lot of questions, but I'll ask just one for now.
I've seen a lot of reviews that you've done with various television personalities in countries all over the place, and I've seen a lot of interviewers and writers misgender you or refer to your body/genitals in pretty awkward and offensive ways. My question is: what motivates you to continue to do interviews, with the knowledge that many people are going to ask bizarre questions and say offensive things. Is it more to do with promotion of your work, or more to do with visibility of trans men, both, or something else altogether?
Anyway, welcome to Edenfantasys and it's awesome to have you here answering our questions. Thank you again and best of luck to you in all your ventures, m'dear.The reason I do a lot of interviews is because I am so comfortable with myself and I understand that many people don't understand about me or people like me. So it is important for me to be open to any question people want to ask and not take offense to it. How are people supposed to learn if they don't ask questions?
Of course I do interviews, in part, for my work--promotion of myself. But also to help educate people about not only transmen, but about the concept of being comfortable with who you are. My work isn't really only about transmen, it is about anyone who is different or doesn't feel like they fit in the box.
For example, when I went on Howard Stern, I knew they were going to act like total idiots and try to disrespect me. In fact, Robin was even more disrespectful than Howard. But I went on to show my confidence in myself, and because of my positive attitude, I gained a lot of fans.
Victoria (host): "We're so glad you do a lot of interviews, too! But Robin being more crass than Howard, that is surprising in a way. It seems you always know how to handle yourself and be the better man :)"
If one thing happened in your life that would make you stay home forever... a retirement of sorts... what would that life changing event be?I really enjoy making porn and educating people, but if I won the lottery, I think I could deal with retiring.
Buck's Fantasies is quite possibly one of the hottest damn things i've ever watched, and i've watched ALOT of smut! so well done. My question is, what is the gas to your fuel tank, i mean what keeps your tremendous drive to spread knowledge and create with the tenacity that you achieve?I really enjoy what I do. I think that's the most important thing to keep anyone motivated in their work. I like seeing the impact my work has on the world and changing people's lives. I get emails from people saying that my work has helped them to feel better about themselves and their bodies. They don't feel alone any more and they feel comfortable to be themselves. That sure keeps me going!
Thanks for your feedback about Buck's Fantasies. I'm glad you enjoyed it. That was one of my very early films--very rough and amateur, but real, which I'm sure you could see.
Well hello Buck, my question is if you could make your own fantasy porn could you describe it and what would it be called???I do! Every movie I make is from my own fantasies. Pick any one of them and enjoy! One of the things I pride myself on in my work is that it is real--real sex, real orgasms, all the real deal from my own perverted mind.
Your ink is amazing! It looks well thought out and pretty personal. Did you design it yourself or do you have a particular artist you've worked with? What do the dates mean on your right bicep?I've had a variety of artists work on me over the years. It just sort of developed as time went on. I obviously prefer black-work only for myself, and many of my tattoos are from different eras of my life and represent different times and places.
Leo Zulueta did the dragons on my chest--those are one of my favorite tattoos. Also, the Buck Angel tattoo on my lower abdomen (a winged buck) was done by Walt Clark at NOLA Tattoo in New Orleans.
The numbers on my right biceps are dates from a relationship with the person whose name is covered by a pinup girl tattoo.
I know many young transmen who look up to you as a powerful role model. What advice do you have for them as they make their way through the world? What do you want them to know that you wish you had known when you were transitioning?This makes me happy that I can be a role model for so many new guys transitioning. In the beginning of my work many guys wrote me nasty emails. But through the years this has changed as they realized that I have brought a positive awareness to trans men.
My advice would be that to make sure this is really what you want. To take this leap is a life altering situation and you can never really go back once you start. I have seen throughout the years many guys realizing this after being on hormones for a while that that is not what they want.
I am a big believer of therapy and having some before you transition. This helped me tons and I feel that is partly why I am so grounded around my change.
Also you don't have to go through the whole process of hormones and surgery. Sometimes just being more connected to your energy can sometimes help you to be ok with yourself.
You mentioned that you don't like to label yourself. Do you ever get any political and/or personal resistance from people for refusing to use labels? How do you respond?Of course! People in society love labels because I think it helps them to keep things in a box. The world is a different place now. We are more free to express ourselves. The reason I don't like to label myself is because I feel like it limits me. I think many people are like this and that is what causes people to act out in a negative manner.
For example. if you are a gay man and become attracted to a woman that freaks you out because you labeled yourself gay. Now if you don't put limits on your sexuality then when this happens it's just natural!
Victoria (host): "Labels are totally limiting, and it seems as though more people are seeing that. Being a human who has desires is label enough."
Transitioning seems to me to be one of the most courageous things that anyone could do, and it would seem to also require a lot of personal integrity. Have you always had a strong sense of integrity, and do you think your experiences with transitioning affected your integrity in other areas of your life (like taking a stand on issues you believe in)?Thanks so much. I do think it is something that takes some balls..though for me it was more like life or death. People just have no idea how hard it is to make that final decision to go through with the change.
I do feel I always had a strong sense of integrity but also I was really not a happy person for so many years and acted out horribly.
My change has helped me to feel proud of who i am and to not let people tell me otherwise which in effect has made it easier to take stands on many issues I believe in and not care what people think of me. The self esteem you get with changing is so powerful!
First I just wanted to say hi and I'm always happy when I see positive influsences of change in the world. As a daughter of a lesbian woman with the majority of my support system being from homosexuals and even transgender I've seen first hand the negitive opinion people give (and usually very loudly). My question is what would you tell to americas youth to stop the cycle of hate. Thank you for your time!Great! It always makes me so crazy when people think they have the right to act out so negative towards other peoples lives. UGG!!
So with that said I think it is super important to reach the youth of this country and teach them that hate no matter in what form is not ok. I just cannot believe the stuff that goes on with kids being so hateful. I think it really needs to start in the homes, Many of these kids are learning this behavior from their parents or the adults around them.
Kids at school get harassed all the time by fellow students for being gay. How is this ok??Why des the school let this happen?
Oh I could write a book here about the intolerance in the USA but I better stop for now.
Victoria (host): "I could not agree more! It does begin at home, which is where these kids learn hate-speech and judgment. I wish the parents would be called out on this more often. It's abusive, in my opinion, to teach your child to behave and think in hateful ways."
When Raven Alexis was interviewed on this site, she talked about ownership/copyright issues with the adult entertainment industry, pay vs. free sites.
What's your take on it?Not really sure about your question? But I will try to answer it.
The adult entertainment world has changed tremendously in the last 3 years. With the change in technology come change in the way we have to produce content. I am a big believer in going with the change.
Now I do produce and own all my own content. I do put some on free sites just because I know it will be ripped and put there anyway and i feel like it helps bring awareness to my work. The fact is people steal and that sucks! It is almost impossible to stop this unless you have tons of money for a lawyer and then even that is not 100%.
I have a membership site and also a free site. I try to make it so people will want to pay to see me in action, But I also realize many people have no interest in my porn but have interest in me as a person, So I try to make that work for my business by adding lots of interviews,youtube,facebook,twitter and blogs out there for people to get to know me.
At the beginning of your transition, were there people (perhaps friends or family) that assumed this was not something you were doing for yourself, but something you were doing to punish them? I know that's been the case with my sweetheart. Do they ever get over themselves? Do they ever stop preaching about God, and eternal damnation, and learn to accept your decision, even if they can't bring themselves to like it?No that was never the case with me. I was totally not in contact with any of my family at the time of my decision to transition so there was no influence or negativity there.
Okay, let me start out by saying "Bald is beautiful". Especially on you. Work it, man! But, when you started testosterone, did your hairline recede drastically? Is that what ultimately led you to your current hair style (or lack thereof)? My baby is a little nervous about losing all his hair. Lol.Thanks! I love being bald it rules. Talk about easy. It was the testosterone that led to my baldness starting. But it is all in the genes. If you have that in your family then your more than likely to go bald with the testosterone. I basically went bald just on the top and not on the sides so that was my deciding factor in shaving it all the way off.
Where do you do your testosterone injections? I've heard it's usually in your thigh or ass. Have you tried both, and which do you prefer? Do you find either one less painful than the other? Do you give yourself the dose, or do you have your wife do so?I shoot myself in the ass and have for years. I always shoot myself because I love it! I can't wait for the next one. It makes me feel so good.
Some guys use cream others take pills. For me it's better to have injections as I think it is more stable and stronger.
Did you ever bind pre-surgery? Did it affect your surgery or your healing in any way? Have you found any negative side effects to doing so?WOW! You ask a lot of questions!
Yes I did bind but I also had really small breasts. It had no effect on me what so ever. I also worked out very hard on my chest and built up the muscle underneath and that helped with my surgery.
When you meet someone for the first time, do you inform them you're trans to get all pretense out of the way, or do you wait a while and slip it to them later on? Have you ever waited to tell someone, only to have them feel lied to or cheated? How do you gauge when the right time is to divulge that information? Is it even ever anyone's business?Well for me because I am such a public figure most people already know. But I am a huge believer on always letting people know if you are going to be intimate with them.
Other than that why do you need to tell anyone? It's like telling someone your gay for no reason..who cares!
It is so nice to finally meet someone who believes the way that I do about sexuality and love. We love whomever we love and it doesn't mean we are now part of one group or another! For instance I am a totally CIS woman, very happy and comfortable in my sexuality but I fell in love with a dynamic woman whom I later realized I would have loved just the same had she been male.
Thanks for taking the time to share your knowledge and experiences with us. I look forward to seeing more of your work as well.
My question is along the same lines as Always Tink's. What advice do you have for someone who is thinking about transitioning but afraid to face their family? I know from experience that this can be the most frightening thing around; facing your family about things that are outside societies accepted "norm". Are there some things you learned NOT to do when approaching family and friends that you'd like to share? Thanks again!Hey thanks so much.
Well I really think that you should be doing the change for yourself and not for anyone else. If your an adult and you choose to take this path then you should do it no matter what anyone else thinks including your family.
Why do you need your family's approval? What I have learned is that when you take pride in what you do people will be ok with it
My family totally knows who I am and what i do and they are very proud of me. They have no problems at all telling their friends about me and showing them photos. It is because I am proud of who I am and they see that.
Trust me if you focus on who and what you are and do it for yourself everything else will follow.
I'm really excited you're the new community interview! Just a warning, you're going to get a LOT of questions from me. ^_^ I'm not trans myself, but am in a committed relationship with a FTM (pre-testosterone, pre-surgery).
Okay, question number one: I noticed that you don't have any obvious scars. What type of top surgery did you have performed? Keyhole or double incision? If it was double incision, let me just say WOW! What did you do, and how long did you do it to get those results?! I am VERY impressed. Do you have any recommendations to prevent or help treat the scarring after surgery?Yes I see that!
My surgeon was totally awesome. I made a huge effort to find just the right doctor. I met with 10 doctors who all wanted to give me big scars. Remember this was way back in the day when there was really no one going through the change so doctors were far and few.
When i found Dr. Alter he was amazing and took great care of me. I was his first FTM. He did what is now a very common surgery called "Keyhole" I was one of the first to get that.
The one factor is the size of your breasts before surgery. My were pretty small so that is why I have no scars. Plus I really workout hard to build up my pecs.
Hello Buck! (The interview so far is amazing!) I was wondering what kind of music you like to listen to, and what are some of your favorite books, movies, and albums?Hey thanks! I'm having fun with this it's really a cool idea.
I love all kinds of music but have different times that I listen to it. I always listen to house music when I workout as it is the best for the gym. It gives me good energy to pump up. I fly tons so I like to listen to classical and what I call chill out music on the plane( yoga music) I also like old school rock like Led Zep and ACDC, Stuff like that.
Books were never really my thing until I moved to the Yucatan and learned how to take some time off. Mostly stuff like true crime but just got into Chuck Palahniuk, augusten burroughs, david sedaris they are awesome.
Victoria (host): "That's awesome - some of my favorite authors. Imagining you listening to classic rock and reading a good memoir makes me smile!"
So, is it easier to be a man or a woman?
I saw an interview years ago of a MTF. She commented on how her opinions are less respected now that she's female. I'm wondering what your thoughts are on this.Yes I believe that. I am treated totally differently now that I am a man. People interact with me more. I have to say I do believe that it is a man's world and that woman are treated as second class citizens. I was treated with less respect when I was female. People speak more directly to me now, which they didn't used to do.
This is so sad and wrong.
Of course, for me now life is easier because I am a man, for many reasons. I think one is that I am more comfortable in the world now and that makes getting up in the morning much easier.
I hope that I can help to change the way society views gender.
Victoria (host): "I think that the confidence you exude helps too! Having met you and talked with you, I can attest to your ability to command a room, nonetheless a conversation, and get respect right away."
When people get their parts changed, do they have sensation in them? I have always wondered this. Congratulations on all of your achievements, that is really cool. I am going to have to check some of your stuff outFrom what I have heard some people do. I haven't had mine changed partly for that reason. I am to scared to find out that I lost my sensation. I love sex to much to risk that.
Who would you say you look up to as a role model? Who has provided you with the most inspiration in your life?I know this is super corny but really my best friend and my wife. She has taught me so much and how to be a better person. I have grown so much with her.
Hi Buck, I have to admit that I did not know about you, since I am not really familiar with the porn industry. As I saw your picture, I thought you were -still are- a very handsome man, and I went 'Yummy, yummy!'
I mostly wanted to welcome you to Edenfantasys. Your presence should be a lot of fun, since your responses are very interesting. There had been a few very interesting conversations on the forums about transsexuality, and with you around here, it should be quite fascinating.
I do have a few questions, but the first may be too personal. There is obviously a lot of thinking to be done and all before going through the process of being transman, and my question is how was the concept of having children ever computed in your decision? Did you ever want some before wanting to become transman? Did you ever feel like you could be sacrificing something? Was it even an issue?
And here's an easy one: Got any favorite sex toy?I have never wanted kids. I am a dog man and have 7 of them. For me I think to have children you have to devote all your time to them and I am not willing to do that. With my lifestyle and travel I think it would be totally unfair to them. I am lucky because I have people who work for me and take great care of my family when I am on the road.
My all time favorite sex toy is the hatachi magic wand!!
I am in the process of designing my own sex toy.
Victoria (host): "7 dogs? I have to just say wow! Great answer about kids; people should think that way before having kids - plenty of time is key!"
Hi Buck!!! I totally love you, your video work, your politics and your public "cervix" announcements. I love the declaration of a "man with a pussy" because too many transmen focus on surgery and body dysmorphia rather than enjoying and improving on the body they were in by diet, exercise, and positivity. I love your blog on your website. Anyway, I wanted to know if you were ever going to write an autobiography? It's like you are so real on film and so frank and interesting that people don't want "the Buck stopping there" they want to go deeper inside and see what makes you tick, how you grew up, how you made choices,etc. Much aloha from Hawaii!!!!Thank you so much. You know what I started to write my book but realized I just wasn't ready to start that yet. It's like going through therapy all over again having to bring up lots of things I have moved on from but need to be in the book.
Also my life just keeps getting more amazing and I think I need to wait a bit longer to do that.
Aloha to you too!!
What kind of cigars do you prefer? I would imagine that since you travel so much and live in Mexico, you probably have access to a wide variety.Cigars are my nasty habit! I actually had someone try to rip me a new asshole at the Yale Master's Tea for smoking them in public and giving off that it was cool to smoke. I was a bit pissed because you know what I can have one vise in the world.
I really have no particular brand that I smoke. I usually go for a stronger maduro. I am not a big fan of cubans and I get those here in Mexico and europe no problem. I just started getting into the NUB. Great cigar. Perfect size for a smoke. I like cameroon.
When you started your transition, or any time during, did you ever consider having bottom surgery? Was it something you wrestled with and debating for a while, or did the possibility never even present itself in your mind? Have you or do you ever wear prosthetics? Do you even have the desire to, or are you simply pleased with your body the way it currently is?Of course I did I think most trans men at sometime think about having this surgery. Early in my transition and also growing up I always wanted a penis. That is just what we are told you need to be a man. I did tons of research on this surgery and at the time it just was not good enough for me. Now I think it has become much better but it still is not good enough for me. I am totally 100% ok with my body and would not choose to do this surgery now.
Having traveled extensively overseas, have you found a significant difference in attitude toward gender identity in other nations than we have in the U.S.? Any lessons we can draw from the other folks we share the globe with?Oh man do I travel! To be honest I would say that it has more to do with my sex work than gender. People treat me totally like a man I have not had any problems with dealing with trans phobia at all, Now with the sex work I think that the rest of the world has been super open to it, But the USA is so close minded. Even regular mainstream TV. I have been on TV in europe but in the US Oprah would not even touch me. But she did have "The Pregnant Man" on. I guess because someone like that is less of a threat than I am..go figure?
So the answer is that yes the attitude is very different in the rest of the world and this is why I travel there more often. The lesson being that the USA needs to separate church and state! This is the main reason why people in the USA have such a prudish attitude towards anything sex related.
Did you always know you were Transgendered? Did you run around and play in the mud with other little boys, or was there ever a point that you liked barbie dolls and dresses? How far back can you remember experiencing body disphoria? Do you still experience this, even in your post-surgical state?From my earliest memories I have always thought and felt like a male ( whatever that means huh!) I guess what I mean is that I always wanted to be like the boy, I always was very masculine, I hated my female body I hated people calling me she..The day I had the change was like a fucking rebirth, It is very hard to explain this to people who are not transsexual. Now I feel like a whole person, Even with my pussy. I in no way feel any part of me as female.
I travel lots and use the gym and steam rooms at the male gym. I take showers with the guys and walk around naked. Some guys get a bit twisted and some are very interested. But my point is that this is how far I have come in acceptance of who I am. The strength to do this is so empowering!
What advice would you have for a parent who's child is contemplating working in the porn industry? Assuming that the parent is wanting to be supportive that is. I have two girls and a boy and I recognize that it is idotic and silly to enjoy porn as much as I do and then be all angry and hurt if my child was interested in making films. I do want to be supportive but I want to give healthy advice and support, if that makes sense.Wow cool question. I totally think it's cool how honest you are about your feelings because people have this whole idea of the porn industry being this horrible industry full of drug addicts and losers. Well guess what there are tons of great people in the adult industry who really take pride in their work including me.
So think about why you feel this way and then step back a bit to see if your really overreacting.
There is nothing wrong with your kids want to work in the adult industry. let them experiment and see what comes from it. Remember as long as it's safe for your kids they should be able to experiment with life!
I'm curious, do you get ever get recognized out on the street or asked for autographs? Also - and this is totally random - what's your favorite movie of all time? I'm a huge movie buff!I totally do! How funny is that. Even here in my small town in mexico where I come to just chill out they are starting to recognize me in the shops. I was just at Cosco and this cute boy comes up all shy to ask me "Are you Buck Angel" Also lately on my flights the attendants are saying the same thing then that they love my work!
That is so cool when they say they love your work!!
My favorite movie of all time is Raging Bull. But I am a movie buff to and have so many more that I love.
Victoria (host): "Great movie... did you know that the word "fuck" is used 114 times in Raging Bull? ;)
Great insider info on the movie here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081398/trivia - there's a ton of Holloywood hsitory wrapped up in that movie."
Hi Buck! It's great to have you with us! Here at Eden Fantasys we have a tradition; please complete the sentence: "Sex Is..."me
Has an act of hate or intolerance (or just plain douche-baggery, whatever the reason) ever made you see red? What did you do to calm down?You cannot believe the stupid assholes I have to deal with but I have learned not to take it personal. Early on when I started I would get so much stupid ass emails I would totally see red! I would get myself all wound up and angry. People would say that I am just a "bitch" I will never be a man. They were going to kick my ass or hang me from a tree..UGG!
But with the understanding of the fact that I was a pioneer and that people had never seen anyone like me I knew to be successful I had to not take it personal. That was not easy but I did it and taught myself to let it go. Wow that is so amazing when you do that and so much more powerful then acting out and giving these people the pleasure of pushing your buttons.
Several years back I stumbled upon your site and I haven't seen anyone like you sense. I've seen a lot of M2F people but only one F2M person. Why do you think that is?
What caused you to make the jump to physically transition? Also, do you feel a lot more natural now after all the physical changes or just a little?That's exactly the reason I started my site. There was no FTM doing online porn and I knew that it would eventually be something people wanted. Still to this day I am really the only one. There are some guys making some film in SF but there in no one as widely know as me. I think it's because trans men are still new, In a sense they are really just starting to come out and so they are not as comfortable as I am with their bodies. I am hoping my work changes that.
The reason I made this physical change was really because I had no other option. For me it was life or death I could no longer live life as a "woman"
OMG I can't even begin to tell you how this has changed my life. I guess you'll have to read the book
Victoria (host): "You can count on many of us to buy your book - keep us posted!"
Who do you prefer working with more, gay stars or straight stars? Who gets you off more? =DI have never worked with a straight star! My customers are gay men and so I pretty much shoot for them. I have shot with some women but all of them were bi.
As for straight men, I don't think that will ever happen as they are the most freaked out by me!
As a confirmed "PIG" I don't think any one or the other gets me off more. Sex with men and with women I have found to be very different. I like both!
When you were a child, what was your "dream job"?I was a big sports fan and wanted to be a professional soccer player. AYSO was just starting and I was on one of the first teams in the San Fernando valley. i excelled at this sport and really loved it so much. We were all just a bunch of "dudes" playing and having a blast. It was one of my best memories as a kid.
Victoria (host): "I bet you'd be good at rugby too!"
What is your life's ambition? If you weren't working as an educator & advocate in this industry, what would you be doing?For sure I would probably be an auto mechanic. At one point before my transition I wanted to open an auto repair shop geared towards women. I feel like they are always getting ripped off. It was a good idea at the time and now I do see many of these shops open.
Have you had any dysphoria with having people pay attention to your vagina, given the issues with that you talked about in your column for Sexis?No. I am so comfortable now with my pussy that actually I don't even think about it like that. It's so male to me and so apart of my body now. It's kind of strange to think that I had issues with it for so many years. I feel so bad for guys who are at that stage now because it sucks to feel that way and it is so empowering not too!
The internet clearly provides resources to many people and ways of creating communities and allowing people to connect in ways which would have been unthinkable before its advent. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that you transitioned fairly early on in life, perhaps when the virtual communities centered around transition/many other 'taboo' sex related topics would not have been as strong, or even around at all. Seeing as now you have such a strong web presence and have used this to help launch your career in so many ways, do you think it would have been possible to be the 'man with the vagina' before the internet really made its mark on society? Do you ever wish you had access to the information that's out there now, years ago when you made your decision to transition?
You know when I transitioned there was no internet ( yes I did it that long ago) so the resources that are there now were not there for me. I had to go to book stores to find the little info I could and that was usually just for MTF's. But I did find a hormone doctor who was willing to work with me and I was his first FTM.
Of course I wish it would have been as easy as it is now to just google sex change and you will get a million hits! I would have never thought that it would ever come to that. I am happy for the people now who need this info that they don't have to go through what I had to. Finding info back then was a nightmare.
So when I started doing this work the internet was around I started first on the net with my site www.transexual-man.com( mis-spelled on purpose) and yes that for sure helped me get my name out there faster.
With the growth of the social media and porn on the net it has helped me to really spread my seed faster. Thank god for that.
I was producing DVD's early on as well but they never really sold like the internet. I think that is because I am still such a "guilty pleasure" as I like to say that people feel more comfortable downloading me in private.
What's the best and worst reaction you've encountered when a person first finds out you're a man with a vagina? How'd you deal with the person in both situations?I guess the worst was just telling me that I'm a freak..but you know even that doesn't bother me. I find it quite empowering that people can't deal with me. They need to move over if they don't like it. It's so stupid how people are so closed minded. I am not telling people that you have to loo, If you don't like it just move on stop staring at my photos or site and then sending me nasty emails. I just don't understand that.
Everyday I get great reactions to my vagina! Now with the new sculpture that Marc Quinn the British artist did of me my vagina will be recognized all over the world!!
Do you have a favorite movie you've made, one that just stands out as the most fun?Hands down "BUCKBACK MOUNTAIN" it was a blast and all my co-stars were amazing. All my friends helped me work on this and we spent two days in the desert shooting. The sex was hot and we actually had a script. I don't make movies like this just because the budget is to big and I never regain my cash back. I think most people buy my films just for the sex and this was more of a story with hot sex. It was nominated for Best Alternative Gay Release 2008.
How is sex different with a man versus a woman? Besides the obvious, I mean. Doesn't it vary from person to person, depending on their own style? Or do men and women in general have similarities that make the experience? I don't think you meant that all women are gentle and subservient, while all men are rough and dominant. So what makes the difference? Is it something we can even define?I knew someone was going to go there! That's just my experience and of course not all women are submissive and men dominant. For me sex with a man seems to be a bit more raw. It is hard to explain without sounding like what you just said. It's something I guess I experience because now it is man on man sex which is different than when I was female. Maybe it's the kind of men I have sex with, I don't know.
Now with women, I just find it less of a raw sort of sex. Not to say it's not hot and rough but not as much. I have lots of sex with both men and women of all kinds, so again this is just my experience.
Victoria (host): "Very interesting and honest answer!"
Have you ever had sex with another Transgendered man or woman? Do you believe that they have their own category entirely when making love, or is it distinctly "male" or "female"? Or would you describe it as a combination of the two?
Sorry, I hope I'm not being too invasive, but I'm very curious to hear your answer on this one. The only person I've ever made love with is my partner, who is FTM Transgendered, so I have no personal experience to draw from.I did a scene with Allanah Starr the TS performer of the year 2008. It was the first ever adult film made with an FTM and MTF. I have to say it was so much fun. For me it was like fucking a chick, Just because she had a cock had nothing to do with it, She is super feminine and sexy. I also shot another scene with Wendy Williams and the same thing there as well. It was very normal to me.
As for a trans guy. I sot a couple scenes with a boy called Fallen. He is in MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK 2. It is a hot scene and we fucked the shit out of each other. That was just like fucking another guy.
Now I'm confused. LOL I thought most gay guys wont touch pussy and most straight guys go only for pussy. Now that the pussy is on a man, gay guys are going crazy over pussy and straight guys are running away for it. You're breaking norms here!
Anyway, if you get a chance to do it with a straight talent, who'd you want to do it with and why?Hahaha! That's so true I never thought of it that way. But I totally understand it because it just goes to show you how people are attracted to people not what's between their legs. It took my work to show the world that gender is more than
Brad Pitt..oh you mean straight porn talent. Good question! I swear I don't find any of the straight talent anywhere near as hot as the gay talent. The gay men seem more in shape and just more together as far as I am concerned.
Were you ever scared about either transitioning, or coming out to the world as Transgendered? Perhaps not scared about what others would think or say, as much as what they might do? I know that my lover in particular is always very wary of how he's being perceived. There is a lot of hate in this world, and too many people willing to do its bidding, out of either ignorance or insecurity. How do you face that on a daily basis? Does that fear ever leave, or is it something that remains with you throughout your life?I was very scared of the thought of having a sex change. I had no idea what I as going to look like or what the hormones where going to do to me. Back when I did it there was nothing about it or many guys doing it so in a sense I was an experiment. I knew though that i had no choice it was life or death for me.
After my change I had no intention of coming out to the world as a transsexual person, I wanted to change to be a man and wanted the world to see me that way. Really I still want the world to see me that way. I want people to think of me as a man not a transsexual.
People always ask me if I get scared of people wanting to hurt me because of who I am, No I can't let that fear get to me because then it would make it difficult to do what I do. there are many scary people and hateful people out there but I can't let their ignorance stop me from living my life or helping others to get a good sense of self esteem from my work. I feel that it's that important to move on.
Do you have any advice for those struggling with their gender identity? How do you find such confidence in yourself? I know that there have been many times in your life that others have fought against accepting you, have you ever fought against accepting yourself, either now or in the beginning of your transition?Therapy is the number one thing for me. I think that the first thing a person should do who is having these thoughts is seek out a good therapist. I went to years of therapy before I decided to change. It was the best thing I did. I feel it grounded me and helped me to get a sense of myself.
My self confidence came with growth of myself and understanding who I am and what I want from life. When you finally get to be the person you have always wanted to be then this happens. I think years of struggling helped me when I changed. It helped because I was finally there. It is the most unbelievable feeling in the world. I get tears in my eyes when I think about where I have come from and how much I wanted to kill myself on a daily basis before and now I celebrate my life! That is powerful.
Victoria (host): "The perfect answer to end your interview, I think! What an inspiration you are! Thank you SO much!"