How important is BDSM in your life/sex life

charletnarouh charletnarouh
Would you consider being with a monogamous partner, unable to play outside your relationship, who was not interested in or willing to explore BDSM? Feel free to elaborate.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'd consider going vanilla for the right person
19  (32%)
I'd give up certain things but not others (explain below)
14  (23%)
I'd be with someone who wasn't interested, but only if I could play outside the relationship.
9  (15%)
I'd never be with someone who wasn't into all the things I am
12  (20%)
Other (explain below)
6  (10%)
Total votes: 60
Poll is closed
03/14/2012
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Teacookie Teacookie
When you have options you are less likely to stray. Plus communicating is important and premission.
03/14/2012
FruityCloudPuff FruityCloudPuff
I'd ask them to try it. My current boyfriend was actually pretty vanilla when I first met him, and he was kind of nervous about bondage and dominating me. Now he does it because he enjoys it himself and he's pretty fantastic at it now. I feel everyone should have an open mind to it.
03/14/2012
Pixel Pixel
I would not be able to give up kink. It's a part of who I am, and I am lucky that my mate is just as kinky as I am.
03/15/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
I wouldn't be with someone vanilla. I have done it in the past and it left me sexually frustrated. I'm lucky my husband likes the same things I do. I wouldn't have married him if he didn't!
03/15/2012
AndroAngel AndroAngel
I need to be bitten, and I need a good bit of kink. I can give up things here and there, but I couldn't go vanilla.
03/16/2012
Various Various
I love it, but I could fill my time with other things for the right person.
03/16/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
I'd go vanilla for the right person, so long as that person didn't mind if I so some self-bondage and safer forms of play on my own to satiate that kinky part of my self.
Though knowing me I'd probably also find some way to sweet talk the person into trying it a few times...can't dislike something until you try it after all. ;3
03/19/2012
tiggle biddies tiggle biddies
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
Would you consider being with a monogamous partner, unable to play outside your relationship, who was not interested in or willing to explore BDSM? Feel free to elaborate.
that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me
03/19/2012
Incendiaire Incendiaire
I'm not really that bothered either way.
03/19/2012
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
Would you consider being with a monogamous partner, unable to play outside your relationship, who was not interested in or willing to explore BDSM? Feel free to elaborate.
I could not be with vanilla.
03/19/2012
Beck Beck
I need to be with someone who is like me.
03/19/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Quote:
Originally posted by Teacookie
When you have options you are less likely to stray. Plus communicating is important and premission.
I have to agree.

I also wanted to add that it would be very difficult for me to not be with someone I couldn't share this interest with. Most of my friends are part of the BDSM community so I'm not sure how a vanilla person would react to them as well as my bedroom play.

I would liken being with a vanilla person almost to being with someone outside my religious beliefs like a fundamentalist christian. Neither a vanilla person or a fundamentalist christian would understand my interest fully and I would be afraid of judgement from them at all times.

I said I would give up some things for someone who wasn't interested in certain fetishes of mine - like SirPhryxus isn't really into furries so we don't play that way often so I don't push that interest. But we compromise by letting me dress as a neko-girl with cat ears and tail.
03/19/2012
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
My husband is not completely kinky - at least, nowhere on the level that I am. I play outside of our relationship. He knows and is comfortable with me fulfilling my needs and I'm very, VERY lucky to have such an understanding partner.
03/22/2012
maddameheather maddameheather
I'm kinky girl....& love to be under a mans control,but when im with a girl im in control
03/23/2012
dks210 dks210
Since I've been introduced to it, I'd have a hard time doing JUST vanilla all the time.
03/30/2012
xxombie xxombie
Me and my husband are just getting started in the BSDM realm so I can't say it's completely part of my life. I do think that it's important to share similar interests; As someone said earlier, it's a recipe for disaster if not. Thinking about it, I don't think I was completely vanilla before the BDSM intro.. smaller aspects were always incorporated into the bedroom, we're just ready for the next level.

How boring would that be with absolutely no kink?? No thanks.
08/09/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I think I'd have trouble with that, I've never had a relationship that involved absolutely zero kink, and most of my relationships have also been polyamorous (though admittedly my total number of relationships is not super large). My personality and interests would have to change a lot for that to work for me.
08/09/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
It is a necessity for me
08/09/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd consider it, but it would be tough, since I really enjoy it.
08/10/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I'd consider going vanilla for the right man, but it wouldn't be easy.
08/10/2012
Midnightsun327 Midnightsun327
I don't think I would ever be attracted, physically, mentally, or emotionally, to someone who was not in the BDSM community. The community and lifestyle goes so much deeper than just sex, it is a bonding between people, it is a commitment to a person, it is away of life.
What I have with Master and our girlfriend is so special and so wonderful, I can't picture myself ever in a relationship that does not include the relationship style and dynamics.
08/10/2012
snarknemesis snarknemesis
I might have trouble if my partner were not even interested in learning about it or if I wasn't able to talk to them about it.
08/10/2012
k3 k3
I could probably never be in a completely vanilla relationship again... ><;
08/18/2012
Nightstone Nightstone
i defiantly prefer kinky sex, but with in reason i'm flexible as to what kinks are involved
08/18/2012
Rey Rey
it has to be some give and take, i wouldn't be with someone who wasn't interested in at least a few things that i was
08/23/2012
RoseIsSoPretty RoseIsSoPretty
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
Would you consider being with a monogamous partner, unable to play outside your relationship, who was not interested in or willing to explore BDSM? Feel free to elaborate.
I cant seem to orgasm without it..
08/23/2012
inkky inkky
I Need At Least A LITTLE Domination To Get Off, I Couldn't Be With A Male Sub.
08/30/2012
SavingMyself SavingMyself
My kink is who I am, I couldn't be with someone who didn't accept that and give me what I need.
09/02/2012
Etoile237 Etoile237
I was in a totally vanilla marriage for a long time and I couldn't do that again. I could be with someone whose kinks aren't as extreme as mine, or who has little experience but is willing to experiment and who can enjoy being dominant.
09/16/2012
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Total posts: 41
Unique posters: 41