Would you be disappointed if your girlfriend could not have an orgasm?

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Would you be disappointed if your girlfriend could not have an orgasm?

Ella71 Ella71
I want to know if a man would be disappointed with his girlfriend if she couldn't reach orgasm. This can mean she never orgasms, or rarely does or needs clitoral stimulation as opposed to just penetration.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
No
12
Maybe/Depends
20
Yes
26
Total votes: 58 (58 voters)
Poll is closed
06/05/2011
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That Man from Mars That Man from Mars
No. My beloved had never had an orgasm when we met. She squirms so badly at times that it can be difficult to 'finish' satisfying her and she's even managed to break restraint and, in turn, lose the sensation that was building up.

My solution: invest in better restraints.
06/05/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
I'm always disappointed when it doesn't happen. I don't really care how it happens, but I feel like I've let her down when I don't "return the favor".
06/05/2011
Ella71 Ella71
Quote:
Originally posted by Vaccinium
I'm always disappointed when it doesn't happen. I don't really care how it happens, but I feel like I've let her down when I don't "return the favor".
Well what if it's not your fault? Your answer makes me feel like you'd be disappointed in yourself, but how would you feel about her? Would you think there is something wrong with her?
06/05/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella71
Well what if it's not your fault? Your answer makes me feel like you'd be disappointed in yourself, but how would you feel about her? Would you think there is something wrong with her?
I guess I'm more disappointed with the circumstances than with myself (never her) when it doesn't happen. I realize that I have a finite amount of control over whether she has an orgasm. Sometimes I can do everything right and it won't happen...but that doesn't mean I have to like it or feel I could have done more.

Would I think something was wrong with her? Perhaps, but only if there was a suggestion beforehand that something was amiss (maybe she really didn't seem into it from the beginning, maybe she had too much alcohol, etc.). If she otherwise seemed really into it, was clearly aroused, and it still didn't happen, I wouldn't assume that something was wrong with her.

Of course, I can only speak from my experience. A different set of circumstances with a different woman might result in a different thought process. For example, if I was to be with someone of, say, your age, and she had the difficulties having an orgasm that you mentioned in your original post, I'd probably chalk it up to her age/experience more so than anything I was doing or any "problem" she might have. It takes a while for someone - man or woman - to figure out what works best for them, and even then, everyone is wired differently. For that matter, it would depend on the length of the relationship as well. I'd be more likely to think there was something "wrong" with someone I'd been with for years than someone who I had slept with only a few times. Not only does it take time for someone to understand his or herself, it takes a while for one's partner to figure out it out as well.

And to clarify, by "wrong", I am assuming you mean some physical or mental issue that is making attaining an orgasm difficult. I'm not looking at it as a character issue or having an issue to do with how a relationship is going. Those can certainly play a role in the issue you brought up, but my response was not in reference to that.
06/05/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Since I know that I can get the wife off, yes I would be disappointed. It would mean that I did not do my job or she has lost interest in sex with me. Either way it would be a real bummer.
06/05/2011
ac0313 ac0313
Since my GF is extremely orgasmic, yes it may bother me. I selected Depends since it has happened in the past from just oral and sex, but we always seem to still get her to orgasm with our toys and some rough play...
06/05/2011
Dusk Dusk
I've never orgasmed with my partner and I worry that he feels disappointed and frustrated about it. I can get myself off easily in front of him, but he's never been able to do it for me. There was one time with the magic wand, but I'm still not convinced what that was.
06/06/2011
mr conflicted mr conflicted
I would be disappointed, for sure. It is important for me that she climaxes and even when she says it is not important to her I still feel like I have not held up my end of the bargain if she does not.

It can happen either through oral or penetration, but I like for it to happen for her. she is nice to me so I should be to her, you know?
06/06/2011
Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
If we are just having a quicky, then she doesn't always orgasm. But if we are having a regular sex session, then I do feel bad when she doesn't orgasm. It has rarely happened and usually because she was stressed about something, but I can usually get her off multiple times. (Although I think she only counts the gigantic multiple g-spot/vaginal earthquaking ones, because I have seen the physical orgasm signs plenty of times and she hasn't included them in her count.) I have gotten to the point where I know it isn't my fault and I don't feel guilty about it, just disappointed that it wasn't as fun for her as it was for me.
06/06/2011
newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella71
I want to know if a man would be disappointed with his girlfriend if she couldn't reach orgasm. This can mean she never orgasms, or rarely does or needs clitoral stimulation as opposed to just penetration.
Yes, but fortunately my wife has learned to orgasm, which makes sex much more fun and satisfying for both of us.
06/06/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
My fiance gets really disappointed and upset with himself when he cannot make him cum. It's hard for me not to make him feel that way because I get frustrated when I'm "right there" but can't get over what seems like a mountain to orgasm. I hate pulling out toys during sex, and it seems to have become the only way I can cum in missionary with the male on top.

He almost went into tears once a year back because I didn't even want to have sex for fear of making him feel like he wasn't good enough. He is AMAZING at sex, I just have a very stubborn vagina/clitoris. It takes a lot of work.

We've managed to learn to stimulate me ahead of time in order to bring me to orgasm during sex, so everything has worked out. And if I'm frustrated, I'll wiat until he's gone or asleep and I'll finish off in the restroom unless he's still awake enough to help me finish.
06/08/2011
ichigostrawberry ichigostrawberry
No, I'm difficult so it would be silly. Besides, I enjoy the actual sex enough that I don't even care a lot of the time.
06/08/2011
Mikey Likesit Mikey Likesit
My wife takes longer than me so I usually start warming her up well before anything with me. Every once in a while she won't and it does make a man feel like he didn't do it right. She says she doesn't care but she said she didn't want a birthday gift once too.
06/08/2011
Lady Venus Lady Venus
If i were a man, I guess it would depend on circumstances. Some medications, depression and other factors can easily eliminate/reduce orgasms. Orgasms start in the mind, and it could be something simple as that maybe she has lots on her mind. And also 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
06/08/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
It would really be a problem for me. I have so much invested in helping her orgasm that if I started to fail - I'd have to figure how to get back on the right track.
06/08/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella71
I want to know if a man would be disappointed with his girlfriend if she couldn't reach orgasm. This can mean she never orgasms, or rarely does or needs clitoral stimulation as opposed to just penetration.
This part:or needs clitoral stimulation as opposed to just penetration. describes about 80% of the female population. Most women do not easily or ever orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

Few women only orgasm from penetration alone. I only can if I have already had a clitoral or blended clit/G Spot?A Spot Orgasm.

I would not want a man to feel bad because I usually don't have my first orgasm from just penetration. My Man knew from the beginning most women need more and has always done whatever it takes.

If a woman never orgasms, professional help probably should be sought.
06/08/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
My fiance gets really disappointed and upset with himself when he cannot make him cum. It's hard for me not to make him feel that way because I get frustrated when I'm "right there" but can't get over what seems like a mountain ...
We had to stop looking at it as "He will make me come." and start saying and thinking "He will help me find my orgasm, by any means necessary."

I don't care HOW I come, but I prefer him there. I don't and wouldn't sneak off alone and have my orgasm after we had sex. Sometimes it just doesn't happen, but before we give up, we try about everything. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. But, he doesn't feel that introducing toys is a bad thing. He wants me to feel good, as as long as he is on the other side of that toy, it the best!

When he's using a toy on me, it's an extension of him so it's all good. He feels badly if I don't come, but he doesn't blame himself. Mainly because he puts as much work as possible into doing whatever it takes. (Unless it's the rare night when he falls asleep, but, hell I'll wake him up....)
06/08/2011
babychika babychika
Theres no way of avoiding that feeling that your not pleasing her well enough.
09/01/2011
FaerieLove FaerieLove
I know that my fiance feels disappointed in himself when I don't finish. But, sometimes it just won't happen. It has nothing to do with his skills or effort hes putting in. Some days are just better than others for mind blowing O's. He on the other hand rarely finishes during intercourse, which by now I'm use too and don't take any offense. Sometimes I admit I've felt it was somehow my fault even though logically I know that it's just him and has nothing to do with me.
09/01/2011
Illumin8 Illumin8
I wouldn't be disappointed in her, but I would be disappointed FOR her, because I would want her to experience as much pleasure as possible!
09/15/2011
jg19 jg19
Quote:
Originally posted by Vaccinium
I'm always disappointed when it doesn't happen. I don't really care how it happens, but I feel like I've let her down when I don't "return the favor".
I feel the same way i want my wife to get as much out of it as i do. But sometimes its best to let it go and try the next time. Alot of the time it means she was distracted or uncomfortable.
09/15/2011
WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I'm a woman, but I, too, would feel disappointed if I couldn't make my girlfriend cum.
09/16/2011
socceras socceras
Quote:
Originally posted by newfoundlust
Yes, but fortunately my wife has learned to orgasm, which makes sex much more fun and satisfying for both of us.
What's a learned orgasm
10/17/2011
socceras socceras
I NEVER orgasm during sex and I don't think my partner has ever cared.
10/17/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella71
I want to know if a man would be disappointed with his girlfriend if she couldn't reach orgasm. This can mean she never orgasms, or rarely does or needs clitoral stimulation as opposed to just penetration.
I would NOT be disappointed at her, but with ME for failing to do the right things!!!
10/17/2011
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I never orgasm and don't think he worries about it.
10/17/2011
ijako9 ijako9
Maybe more like depressed I love knowing I make my wife climax
10/18/2011
big b big b
we stay with it till it happens,me or toys
10/18/2011
bsgs bsgs
Quote:
Originally posted by ijako9
Maybe more like depressed I love knowing I make my wife climax
exactly....it sucks when it doesnt happen, but you gotta learn to go with it, and assume she'll get off next time. if you dwell on it it probably wont happen ever
05/26/2012
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Total posts: 42
Unique posters: 37