Most Ridiculous Cosmo Sex Tip You Ever Heard

cuntofdoom cuntofdoom
What's the most ludicrous cosmo sex tip you've seen? I want to create a thread/database of hilarity here.

The worst one that I've heard was the suggestion to put fruit in one's vagina, have penis sex, and then 69 so that your partner can literally "eat you out"
04/20/2011
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bunny love bunny love
Watch this video, touch him on the penis!

This thread is going to be great
04/21/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Pull on his pubic hairs... yeah, because men LOVE that! Ugh...
04/21/2011
kawigrl kawigrl
lol
04/22/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Oh my! I recently wrote on a topic about magazines such as cosmo with their crazy "tips" it's suppoosed to be a women's magazine, but clearly it's all about how you SHOULD please men. I completely quit reading the "women's mags" like cosmo. They are so stupid! Most of those "tips" are totally incaccurate and can cause more harm than good! A lot of the sex tips talk about crap like eating sweets off of your privates which is AN AWFUL thing because sugar causes yeast infections! I would never listen to the BS they put in that mag. I used to read it and had a totally wrong idea of what men are. I mean, there are many bad men and some good men, but after reading all the things I did in those mags, I thought there was no such thing as a man who would ever respect a woman and her wishes.

I think cosmo should be done away with!
05/01/2011
namelesschaos namelesschaos
That my orgasms are a technique lacking a true bases in physiology because only female multiple orgasms are genuine. I'm not joking.
05/01/2011
Taylor Taylor
I don't remember exactly what it said because this was a couple of years ago, but I read one that was about freezing some grapes and then putting a couple in your mouth while you give your guy a blowjob. I don't see how that could end without me choking or with him losing his erection from the cold.
05/01/2011
GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by cuntofdoom
What's the most ludicrous cosmo sex tip you've seen? I want to create a thread/database of hilarity here.



The worst one that I've heard was the suggestion to put fruit in one's vagina, have penis sex, and then 69 so ... More
wrap both hands around his penis & rotate them in different directions, like you're giving him an indian rug burn. it probably wouldn't have been as bad if they had mentioned using lube... which they didn't.
05/18/2011
Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Quote:
Originally posted by kendra30752
Oh my! I recently wrote on a topic about magazines such as cosmo with their crazy "tips" it's suppoosed to be a women's magazine, but clearly it's all about how you SHOULD please men. I completely quit reading the ... More
I find it entertaining to flip through every now and then for a laugh, but I'd never read it religiously. I can't say I'm a fan of how much focus they put on "massaging" a guys ass. I'm pretty sure if I ever tried that I'd get knocked out. lol
05/18/2011
Maeby Maeby
This wasn't SO ridiculous, I guess, but my husband and I laughed about it. They had a piece that supposedly consisted of sex tips from 101 guys off the street, and one of them just said: "Wigs. Please wear them. They're really hot." It was the way it was phrased that made it so funny to us.
06/02/2011
kjkitty kjkitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I don't remember exactly what it said because this was a couple of years ago, but I read one that was about freezing some grapes and then putting a couple in your mouth while you give your guy a blowjob. I don't see how that could end without ... More
Actually I did this with ice one time and my boyfriend really liked it. I didn't keep the ice in my mouth while going down on him though, just before hand so that my mouth was cold. He said it was a shock but that the temperature change was fun. It was also nice for me because I could get a drink of the ice when I was cooling my mouth back down. I think he would have hated it if I still had the ice in my mouth, though.
06/02/2011
brittany8612 brittany8612
ambush his butt
we only read that part, but it meant to run up and pinch his butt
hahah
06/04/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Pinch his balls to excite him just before he comes..... If I did that to my Mr he would kill me lol
06/04/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
Pinch his balls to excite him just before he comes..... If I did that to my Mr he would kill me lol
omg i was just going to say that. LOL i talked to a few guys about that and they said that was a terrible idea
06/13/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i've read lots of "tips" about giving hand jobs, such a biting, pulling pubic hairs, etc and of course no lube. i have no idea who these women tried their "expertise" on.
06/13/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
i've read lots of "tips" about giving hand jobs, such a biting, pulling pubic hairs, etc and of course no lube. i have no idea who these women tried their "expertise" on.
those poor guys who they did try it on owch
06/13/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Nibbling on a guy's scrotum.

Seriously? Who wrote that, and why do they hate men so much?
07/10/2011
catalunalilith catalunalilith
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
Pinch his balls to excite him just before he comes..... If I did that to my Mr he would kill me lol
...yup.
07/11/2011
Ansley Ansley
All of them. Cosmo is the worst place in the world to get advice. It's such a waste of paper.
07/11/2011
cocorochelle cocorochelle
Quote:
Originally posted by cuntofdoom
What's the most ludicrous cosmo sex tip you've seen? I want to create a thread/database of hilarity here.



The worst one that I've heard was the suggestion to put fruit in one's vagina, have penis sex, and then 69 so ... More
I am so happy I found this thread! I hate Cosmo so much because it really is just a magazine catering to men and their pleasure, and their sex tips are horrible!

I remember seeing suggestions to use boby pins as nipple clamps, wrapping a warm washcloth around a guys shaft and using the "indian rug burn" technique, as well as kissing the area between a mans scrotum and ass hole.

I know lots of men find pleasure and enjoy ass play with their partner, male or female, but that is a conversation you need to have with him before you do anything. Cosmo never suggests speaking with your partner, just ambushing him with sticking fingers up there, with no idea if that is something he is open to.

It's also pretty frustrating that they don't educate readers on the harmful effects of glycerin and sugars in the vagina and how it can lead to infections. And that it never really suggests the inclustion of lubricant. I don't find it a liberating womens magazine at all. It is offensive to both men and women, and hurting peoples sex lives more then helping it really.
07/14/2011
lovemuscle n cookie lovemuscle n cookie
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
All of them. Cosmo is the worst place in the world to get advice. It's such a waste of paper.
What she said. Majority of them are really bad tips. I think we tried the whole frozen grapes (or ice) trick. The twisting both hands in different directions I have actually seen on the Penny Flames Expert Guide to Handjobs. She used lube at least.
07/14/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I don't remember exactly what it said because this was a couple of years ago, but I read one that was about freezing some grapes and then putting a couple in your mouth while you give your guy a blowjob. I don't see how that could end without ... More
Oooh... for temperature play I guess. I agree that it would be tricky to actually do that.
07/14/2011
Airplane Airplane
Here's an article related to cosmo's notorious sex advice.

While the first page is also funny, the second page contains the video that always comes to mind when someone mentions "cosmo sex tips", and it always makes me laugh. A man films his facial reactions while his girlfriend tries out their advice on him.

link

I remember being young and sneaking into my mom's room to read her monthly cosmo. As a girl, I didn't know much about penises at that tender age, but I do remember thinking "why would you do that to the poor man?" It would seem I wasn't misguided.

But hey, they're still good for a laugh while you're waiting to ring up your groceries.
07/15/2011
v23 v23
This is great. Me and my guy read cosmo and laugh. Most of the "tips" are hilarious, very rarely do either of us read one and think we should try it.
07/16/2011
Bullfanch Bullfanch
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenyana
Nibbling on a guy's scrotum.

Seriously? Who wrote that, and why do they hate men so much?
Heh! I read that one too. After I read it, I couldn't figure out how they would explain to my parents that my guy had literally crushed my head between his thighs when I tried that move... That one.... ridiculous!
07/16/2011
Lilith's Girl Friday Lilith's Girl Friday
Quote:
Originally posted by namelesschaos
That my orgasms are a technique lacking a true bases in physiology because only female multiple orgasms are genuine. I'm not joking.
Freudian bullshit. That's ... you say you're *not* joking?
07/21/2011
Lilith's Girl Friday Lilith's Girl Friday
Quote:
Originally posted by GravyCakes
wrap both hands around his penis & rotate them in different directions, like you're giving him an indian rug burn. it probably wouldn't have been as bad if they had mentioned using lube... which they didn't.
And ... what if he's not big enough to fit both hands around?
07/21/2011
Lilith's Girl Friday Lilith's Girl Friday
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
Pinch his balls to excite him just before he comes..... If I did that to my Mr he would kill me lol
Well, the point is to pinch just between his actual eggs. Nothing hard, just a gentle squeeze. But as far as I'm concerned, it's probably better to START with that kind of thing. Ambushing a guy's sac right before he comes ... yeah. No.
07/21/2011
Lilith's Girl Friday Lilith's Girl Friday
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
i've read lots of "tips" about giving hand jobs, such a biting, pulling pubic hairs, etc and of course no lube. i have no idea who these women tried their "expertise" on.
Well, I guess the lube situation kind of depends on the age of the guy and his religion. Like, if he's older than, say, thirty or Jewish or Muslim, he's probably going to be cut. But if not, you don't need lube to give a handjob. The foreskin acts as a decent cover. I have, on the other hand, had much success gently using my teeth while blowing a guy who was wearing a relatively thick condom. And, of course, if it's not skin-to-skin (or skin-to-latex-to-skin) then you have to bite anyway. Pulling pubic hairs? I've never met anyone who likes that. But most guys I know are shaved, so ...
07/21/2011
Lilith's Girl Friday Lilith's Girl Friday
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
All of them. Cosmo is the worst place in the world to get advice. It's such a waste of paper.
Is there something I can do for you? Anything? I think you deserve a favour of some kind for saying that. Thank you.
07/21/2011
Total posts: 72
Unique posters: 49