For us it's about good foreplay, and my husband's control--he holds on and doesn't cum until I do. Sometimes he pulls out and takes a little break for 30 seconds or a minute to avoid cumming before me, if necessary. We cum at the same time more often than not, and we always do if it hasn't been more than a day or two since we last had sex. Before him, I had no idea this could happen. I think it's really special and wonderful!!