The Myth about women wanting sex less than men. Is it true for you/your partner?

Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
Personally I get ticked off seeing all the stereotypes of women, especially married women, not wanting sex. Our culture tries to tell women it is wrong to want sex and that men should want sex all the time. So I want to know what your experience is. If you are not currently in a relationship, answer based on your last relationship.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
21  (52%)
3  (8%)
4  (10%)
1  (2%)
3  (8%)
1  (2%)
4  (10%)
3  (8%)
Total votes: 40
Poll is open
08/08/2014
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SexScienceAndFood SexScienceAndFood
my issue isn't so much want, but I'm passive in that regard and don't initiate.
08/08/2014
apodosis apodosis
I'm a woman who has sex with men. Not including my first partner, who wasn't into satisfaction ever being mutual (and therefore I wasn't particularly into having sex with him), I think I've wanted sex more often than any of my male partners. It's been stressful at times, I think mostly because of that stereotype. We both feel like they "ought" to want it more than I do. On some level I really struggle not to assume it must be something wrong with me that makes them not live up to the caricature of a sex-crazed man who would have sex constantly if only his gate-keeper female partner "let" him. I think in that way it's a pretty damaging stereotype for both men and women.

With my current partner, things are better and I worry less, because even though he might not want to have sex quite as often as I do, he really likes watching/making me orgasm as well. It's not as nice as sex, but it has both the physical satisfaction and the togetherness elements, and to some extent I still feel like I'm pleasing him.

I think a lot of my earlier sexual relationships especially would have been healthier if it weren't for the cultural image saying that women aren't supposed to want sex.
08/13/2014
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Pete's Princess
Personally I get ticked off seeing all the stereotypes of women, especially married women, not wanting sex. Our culture tries to tell women it is wrong to want sex and that men should want sex all the time. So I want to know what your experience ...
I am a hetero female and in every relationship, I have wanted it as much as my male partners. In my marriage, to a wonderful man who "turns me on" in a thousand different ways (sexual, sensual, intellectual, emotional...etc), I have to say I often see him doing non-sexual things that make our marriage and family stronger every day, and this, to me, translates into an incredible "desire" for him. I thus am often the "instigator" in our lovemaking. I know he "craves" me, and desires me often, but I really think that I may want him, sexually, more often....if we were to bother counting! Either way, it's great.
08/14/2014
BlackOrchid BlackOrchid
I want sex more often than my bf. He is a good man who works very hard, so I understand his needs for rest and relaxation. I use masturbation to fufill my sexual needs. I would fully expect him to do the same for me if I wasn't in the mood for any reason.
08/15/2014
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
I'm a hetero man and mostly want it more than my wife. However in the past I have had several gfs that were fairly aggressive. All were also Asian so I would not say it's the culture. More like Libido.
08/15/2014
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
Well so far it looks like from this sampling the myth is very wrong.
08/19/2014
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
I am a pansexual female and so far I have seemed to have wanted sex as much if not more than my partners. I think that this is a myth, although it is possible to have a loss of sexual wanting after the birth of a child. The exhaustion of caring for a baby seems to sap the sex drive. My female friends and I all had that happen, but it did bounce back after a few months once things settled down and adjustments were made.
08/19/2014
js250 js250
I was married for 17 years and wanted sex as much or more than my husband. After his death, it was a non-issue for awhile, but there is only so much of yourself you can repress--and my drive is still very high now, but with toys as an outlet.
09/14/2014
Azula Azula
Quote:
Originally posted by Pete's Princess
Personally I get ticked off seeing all the stereotypes of women, especially married women, not wanting sex. Our culture tries to tell women it is wrong to want sex and that men should want sex all the time. So I want to know what your experience ...
I've only had sex with women for the past 3-4 years, but when I had sex with men, I usually had a much higher sex drive. The idea of women not liking sex is a fairly recent one. It used to be that men were considered too intellectual and busy thinking about property and war and all that to care much about sex. Women were perceived as sex obsessed, always wanting attention and babies from their husbands. There's a Greek myth that a male poet was transformed into a woman and told Zeus and Hera that sex as a woman was ten times better than sex as a man. Conditioning is strange!
09/15/2014
toysforall toysforall
It's actually quite the opposite for us!
09/17/2014
RonLee RonLee
As a bi guy I've found that my sex drive is higher than nearly all of the partners I've been with over the years, no matter the gender.
09/17/2014
SailorJulyxo SailorJulyxo
Uh, for me it's a same-sex relationship, so I voted that - however I can say that sex is something I am pretty much ALWAYS ready for unless I feel terrible, and it's something on my mind often. I think the 'women want less sex' thing to be total BS.
09/18/2014
lordviral lordviral
Even back when I thought I was a woman (I'm a trans guy), I still wanted it a hell of a lot more than any guy I was ever with.

I do also really hate those stereotypes, though. There's literally nothing that says/proves that women want sex less.
09/28/2014
Aesenthia Aesenthia
My sex drive certainly isn't as strong as my boyfriend's. He literally has five orgasms a day and I orgasm like once a week. Maybe.
10/03/2014
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by lordviral
Even back when I thought I was a woman (I'm a trans guy), I still wanted it a hell of a lot more than any guy I was ever with.

I do also really hate those stereotypes, though. There's literally nothing that says/proves that women want sex less.
Bad luck of geography, I too want it a hell of a lot more than any partner I've ever been with, trans or cis, man or woman.
10/03/2014
Inquisitor Inquisitor
In my current relationship, I feel as if this might be true. I am usually up for some type of sexual interaction way more often than my partner. The only things that kill the mood for me are stress, sickness, and excessively violent and/or degrading movies or TV shows (the partner watches a lot of movies).
11/12/2014
CuriousJ CuriousJ
Even though my current partner is relatively "vanilla" compared to me, she does love to have sex as often as I do.
11/12/2014
KittiezToyz KittiezToyz
Currently, I want it more than my partner. Next week, who knows. It's quite the rollercoaster ride.
11/26/2014
SexyRex SexyRex
I want sex 100x more than my wife. She's not that interested, which is frustrating. I work out, groom, always give a 45 minute massage first to get her in the mood...will do anything however she wants.

Alas....it's a seldom thing.

But we've been together since we were 17 (23 years ago) and I love her with my heart and soul - so I do most of it by myself.
11/26/2014
Vnessa Vnessa
Out of all the women I know, I'm definitely not the norm (unless they're lying and I'm just too honest). I want sex way more than they do. It's a chore for tHem. Or, that's how they act. I honestly feel sorry for their husbands.

As for who wants it more--me or my husband? Probably still me. He has a very strenuous job so he's more tired than I am at the end of the day. He tries his best to keep up and I try to respect when he's just too tired
Mar 19, 10:36 pm
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by apodosis
I'm a woman who has sex with men. Not including my first partner, who wasn't into satisfaction ever being mutual (and therefore I wasn't particularly into having sex with him), I think I've wanted sex more often than any of my male ...
That sounds SO familiar and have u run into guys feeling that they can't satisfy you simply because you WANT sex?
Mar 20, 7:07 am
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
That sounds SO familiar and have u run into guys feeling that they can't satisfy you simply because you WANT sex?
Many years ago i had a relationship with a girl whose sex drive was extremely high. Indeed matched or perhaps even exceeded my own. When her and I weren't "dating" she'd come see me when her BF of the moment couldnt or wouldn't fuck her enough.That got me in some very hot water once when her bf of the moment happened to be one of my rotc instructors. But that's another story.
Mar 20, 12:03 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
Out of all the women I know, I'm definitely not the norm (unless they're lying and I'm just too honest). I want sex way more than they do. It's a chore for tHem. Or, that's how they act. I honestly feel sorry for their husbands. ...
I think everybody or most people like to have sex. That's why the world is so populated. Some are just more open about it. I'll met a lot of innocent looking women who turned out to really like... love sex !

Tired ? Tired is one thing, stressed is the worse. Imagine being so stress that even having sex won't relive it. Worth a try though.

Also some of us get turned on easier than others.
Mar 20, 7:47 pm
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Oriental husband and wife
I think everybody or most people like to have sex. That's why the world is so populated. Some are just more open about it. I'll met a lot of innocent looking women who turned out to really like... love sex !

Tired ? Tired is one ...
Stress is another factor completely! Luckily that comes and goes now. He eliminated most of that when he sold our business a couple years ago I give him a hard time, telling him he's a man of leisure being down to just 1 job now, so there should be lots of energy lol

Yes, I'm the easily turned!
Mar 20, 10:15 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
Stress is another factor completely! Luckily that comes and goes now. He eliminated most of that when he sold our business a couple years ago I give him a hard time, telling him he's a man of leisure being down to just 1 job now, so there ...
OMG, another tidbit in common. We also sold our business or actually the lease ran out few yrs back. Went from 55 hrs plus some months 65+, back then didn't affect our energy level though. Making a decent living and taking care of the family was worth it.
Mar 21, 2:39 pm
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Oriental husband and wife
OMG, another tidbit in common. We also sold our business or actually the lease ran out few yrs back. Went from 55 hrs plus some months 65+, back then didn't affect our energy level though. Making a decent living and taking care of the family was ...
I told you we would have a lot of great dinner conversation I'm sure you and the hubby would have lots to talk about lol. Something tells me O.W and I would also have plenty lol
Mar 21, 4:15 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
I told you we would have a lot of great dinner conversation I'm sure you and the hubby would have lots to talk about lol. Something tells me O.W and I would also have plenty lol
Just don't tell me he started the business after helping some many others make money. And that they did not keep their promise to get him into one.

Maybe the 2 of you could go to the gym together. She hates going alone.
btw, she's on a no/low carb diet. Pick a nice place.
Mar 21, 9:54 pm
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Oriental husband and wife
Just don't tell me he started the business after helping some many others make money. And that they did not keep their promise to get him into one.

Maybe the 2 of you could go to the gym together. She hates going alone.
btw, she's ...
Ha! No, not so much. It was more so fitness related

I would love that. I also hate going alone. A sweet steak place it is then!!!
Mar 21, 10:47 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
Ha! No, not so much. It was more so fitness related

I would love that. I also hate going alone. A sweet steak place it is then!!!
I like mine, medium rare. She'll have steak salad.

Water for her and Red wine for me.
Mar 22, 10:01 pm
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Unique posters: 20