I'm 23 and still haven't told my folks I'm bi. How old were you guys?

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I'm 23 and still haven't told my folks I'm bi. How old were you guys?

Lavender420 Lavender420
I've known since forever that I love men and women, but I've never really told anybody. I don't know if it's something I should keep a secret or not. Did you guys do this, and how old were you?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes, I was 18 & under
Chirple , Beck , HouseWench
3  (18%)
Yes, I was 18 & older
dhig , Girly Girl , Misfit Momma , KyotoAngel , GONE!
5  (29%)
No, I haven't done this yet
allinonekid , Pink Kitty
2  (12%)
No, I plan on keeping this to myself
favoritemelody , WhoopieDoo , GonetoLovehoney , MR Chickhabit , col2717 , Entropy , Ms. Spice
7  (41%)
Total votes: 17
Poll is closed
12/15/2011
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WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
There's not really a point in telling them I'm not straight, since I'm married.
12/15/2011
Chirple Chirple
I was like... 13. I used the word "bisexual" then, but would not now. At the time, it was the only word I knew that contained elements of "gay" and "straight".

Personally, I think it's fine to not tell them - especially if you think there would be a problem.

Now, if you think they'd take it well, sure - share.

If you're getting married to someone of the same sex, dating long term, or otherwise being in a way that you can't escape them knowing - yeah, you might want to tell them. Otherwise you'd have to pretty much cut them out of your life, which seems like only a great choice if that's what they would have done to you.
12/16/2011
GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
I'm not exactly bi, but I am certainly not straight. (Heteroflexible) My family doesn't need to know about my preferences on anything/anyone.
12/16/2011
Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
It's all up to you. Personally I have not and will not tell my parents. They are Roman Catholic. If I happened to tell them, I would PRETTY much be doffed from the family. My grandparents on the other hand are Anglican, they KINDA have an idea that I am gay, but dont mind, yet dont fully agree with it.

My dad he has an idea. I tell him I am straight, I even have a girlfriend (Just a friend who happens to be a girl) covering for me. But my dad he always calls me a fa*0t and stuff to try to get a rise out of me. Yet it does not work.

So honestly it is up to you, See how your parents react to homosexuals, maybe if there is something in the news that talks about gays, speak your mind and see how they react. Thats how I decided "NOOOOO!"
12/16/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by GonetoLovehoney
I'm not exactly bi, but I am certainly not straight. (Heteroflexible) My family doesn't need to know about my preferences on anything/anyone.
That's pretty much my view on it too. Some people just don't care if you're straight/bi/gay/trans/ etc, they just want you to be happy.

My thoughts are "Why would this person want to know? Do they need to know?" I hope people don't feel like they have to "live a lie", but there's definitely a line that crosses into TMI.
12/16/2011
Girly Girl Girly Girl
my boyfriend knows i love woman as well ,you don´t have to tell your parents ,that is your life and you´re old enough to know what you want ,and if they find out they should accept it
12/16/2011
Beck Beck
My parents know and do not care, but I got lucky with my parents. Really there is no need to tell them you are Bi, but when you meet someone if they are the same gender, you might want to tell them before they meet that person. Otherwise I would not worry about it.
12/16/2011
blacklodge blacklodge
I never really had to tell my mom. She just kind of knew by the way I talked about both sexes. She's a very compassionate person and understands it's okay to not be heterosexual.
12/17/2011
HouseWench HouseWench
I had a girlfriend of a different race when I was young so, that's sort of how I 'came out'
12/17/2011
MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
until i start dating a dude seriously, i plan on staying closeted as it were.

i have considered this a few times recently though.
12/17/2011
Cherry21 Cherry21
Quote:
Originally posted by HouseWench
I had a girlfriend of a different race when I was young so, that's sort of how I 'came out'
GIRLFRIEND of a different RACE, now I bet that was one that the parents' sat up and talked about at night!
12/17/2011
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
I was 20 when I just sort of randomly blurted it out. I had a nightmare the night before and after extensive research I believed it meant I should tell my family so I was debating telling them all day and finally it just sort of came out on it's own. @_@
12/18/2011
Vanille Vanille
I'm not bi, but I have came out when I was 20.
12/18/2011
Entropy Entropy
I'm a bi male, first had anal sex with a man close to 30. I never told my mother before she died, and have no plans of telling my aging father. At his age and health, I'd probably give him a stroke. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't know everything about me. I can deal.
12/22/2011
GONE! GONE!
I was over 18. It just came out because I was in a relationship that revealed that fact.
12/22/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I have very conservative Protestant parents, so if they found out that I'm sexually attracted to women, you might as well tell them that I bathe in the blood of children. And since I have no interest in pursuing relationships with women, I don't think it's necessary to tell them anyway. Actually, my parents would have a cow just because I'm sexually active to begin with.

If you end up in a relationship with someone of the same gender, it would be nice to tell your parents, depending on how open they are. Honestly, some parents are really open to sexuality and others will condemn. Just gauges your parents' personality and go from there.

If anything, I would highly recommend discussing your sexuality with friends just they can be there to support you in case things go awry.
12/22/2011
thelittlestdoc thelittlestdoc
I'm bisexual (I identify more typically as pansexual or simply queer) and 22 and have no immediate plans of coming out to my family.

I'm quite fem, but if you're paying attention at all my preferences should be quite obvious. I have a friendly but strained relationship with my parents when it comes to my love life. They have never met any of the men or women I've dated. Both of them are highly conservative, religious, and openly judgmental of anything verging from the heteronormative perspective. That said, I think they know I'm queer and we've settled into a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.

In my day to day life I'm "out," and avoiding the subject with family isn't ideal. If I could see a way to keep them in my life and have them accept me then I would take that action in a heartbeat and it would be wonderful. As it is, I can live with things as they are now.

Unless I find myself in a committed, long-term relationship with someone who's not biologically male I don't see why it's necessary for them to know. It's not like I'm asking my sisters about their sex lives.

If you really feel like you're keeping a horrible secret, then make sure you have a strong support system of friends before taking the step to address the situation with your family. If you're wondering if you should tell them simply because maybe they should know...I'd put the matter aside for now.
02/08/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
I'm married so I simply let people assume I'm straight. I never felt like my parents should know.
I'm also polyamorous and his parents sort of have an idea that we have sex with other girls, though they aren't particularly happy about it (they see it as adultery and are more upset by that than they are about homosexuality).
I just feel like its none of their business who I sleep with as long as my husband is happy and I'm happy.
If we were to find someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with, that might change things later on.
02/11/2012
mysecretcollection mysecretcollection
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I've known since forever that I love men and women, but I've never really told anybody. I don't know if it's something I should keep a secret or not. Did you guys do this, and how old were you?
I did not actually tell my parents, they found out by snooping and reading a letter I had wrote to a friend when I was 13.

My son came out last year, when he was 9. Just one day he told me "mom, I am half gay." It was cute because he knew what he felt, but he did not know the terms to use.
02/12/2012
CadmiumKitty CadmiumKitty
I will probably never tell my parents.
04/24/2012
CutiePatootie CutiePatootie
I doubt I'll ever tell my parents. I'm married and have had a rocky relationship with them already so there's no need to rock the boat even more.
04/25/2012
sleepyjeanne sleepyjeanne
My folks found out shortly after I did. I had no idea I wasn't straight until I fell head over heels for a girl down the hall from me in college. We both came out to our immediate families not long after we entered a relationship. I'm very lucky in that my parents are just the "I'm happy you're happy" kind of people.
04/26/2012
SouthernBelle SouthernBelle
I didn't tell my parents until I was 23, when they cornered me and ASKED. It worked out okay actually, but I had no reason to tell them before because I didn't know if I'd end up with a guy or not.
05/02/2012
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 24