Thats so gay Offensive?

Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
Does anyone find that when people use "Gay" as a negative way to address something its offensive?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
It is offensive.
254  (60%)
It's not offensive.
66  (16%)
Depends on the topic.
84  (20%)
Other.
21  (5%)
Total votes: 425
Poll is closed
03/27/2011
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Dusk Dusk
I just think that people need to be a bit more aware of how what they say can hurt other people. Whether everyone finds "that's so gay" as offensive or not, the point is that the people around them might and it could really hurt someone. There are so many other ways of saying you dislike or find something untasteful that don't have the risk.
03/27/2011
Taylor Taylor
I am not personally offended by it, but I do lose some respect for the person if I hear them say it. I think it makes them sound uneducated. I think that a lot of people ARE hurt by this, so it probably better to find a different way to say you don't like something.
03/27/2011
PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I think that it's not right that it's the new slang for something that is dumb. It's just like saying "that's retarded." It shouldn't be like that because both are offensive to many people, and just because it's common, doesn't mean it's right.
03/27/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Unless you literally mean, "That's so homosexual," then it's offensive.
03/27/2011
REDRUM REDRUM
I do not like it when people use it, but I understand that they probably don't mean it literally. It's just something a lot of people say because they hear it a lot. That doesn't make it right though.

I personally do not say it, and try to correct people who do.
If you really try not to say it, you'll end up not even thinking of using it.
03/27/2011
Miss Zombie Miss Zombie
I honestly don't feel that it's offensive. I think there are ways people can make it offensive. I have gay friends and I use that expression around them all the time and no one knows the difference. It's actually kind of funny because they use it as well. I think people at times can be a little too sensitive about things.

I get irritated if someone calls me out about saying the word "retarded". A lot of people use that expression and honestly I don't use it in an offensive way. I don't make fun of anyone or condone any type of bullying, but like I said earlier, I think people are too sensitive sometimes. Either that or they are only wanting to cause drama.
03/27/2011
closed account closed account
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Zombie
I honestly don't feel that it's offensive. I think there are ways people can make it offensive. I have gay friends and I use that expression around them all the time and no one knows the difference. It's actually kind of funny because ... More
I had a friend whose brother had down syndrome. It was very upsetting to her when someone said "that's retarded"

sensitive or not, It's not gonna hurt anyone to make an effort to not hurt other people

i think it is a learning experience to have someone enter your life that can give you a better perspective and understanding of how something that might seem trivial to one person, is upsetting and frustrating to them

there have been many people I've tried to help break the habit of using retarded and gay in an inappropriate way.

just like i have had straight friends explain they prefer not to be called "breeders"
03/27/2011
cobiffle cobiffle
I do not see it offensive as long as it is not said in a very rude way.
03/27/2011
Oxygen99 Oxygen99
I have quite a few gay friends and they seem to be split as to whether that usage is offensive or not. Personally, I refrain from saying that out of respect for those that it might offend.
03/27/2011
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
I find it offensive, as when someone says "that's so gay" typically (almost always, in my experience) they're saying it in a way that says that something's wrong with whatever they're talking about. As such, it sounds like "gay" to them means something that's wrong, or incorrect.

Very offensive to me.

Really, it's like saying "That's so black" or "that's so oriental" or "That's so annoying teenager." There's absolutely nothing different that I can see, if you were to use any of the above phrases instead of "that's so gay."
03/28/2011
tigerkate tigerkate
I used to hear this a lot more a few years ago, and it bugged me.
I mean, do you honestly have no vocabulary to accurately describe how you see something?

It just seems silly to me.
I can't honestly remember the last time I heard someone say it, though.
03/28/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
I find it offensive, because it uses "gay" as a synonym for stupid/lame/etc.

Nobody wants an adjective that applies to them to be used in a negative way. I doubt most women would be thrilled if people started saying "Ugh, that's so female!" about something they didn't like. (Insert pretty much any adjective, same idea)
03/28/2011
Amy Snookum Amy Snookum
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweet-Justice
Does anyone find that when people use "Gay" as a negative way to address something its offensive?
If it is your life and you are identifying yourself as "gay" (i mean if it is your main identity) so it would be offensive to you, if somebody said "New album of Tortoise is so gay!". IMHO.
03/28/2011
closed account closed account
if you don't think it's offensive, be sure to not have or be around anyone who is gay or lesbian or who has gay or lesbian friends or family. which pretty much leave you only associating with people of like mind, which is not bad, ya'll can stick together.

the statistics which are under counted, are that 1 in 10 people are gay lesbian or bisexual. so it's obvious you are offending people, and apparently you don't care. what offends you?
03/28/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Ok so generally when people say That's so gay", what they mean is "That's so lame" so in this equation, gay=lame. Yeah... that is pretty insulting.

I get that people who say it don't say it in order to offend people, but hey it does, you know it does, stop saying it. I love the Wanda Sykes Commercial about this. It sums up my feelings exactly.
03/28/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
What about using it ironically, like seeing two guys make out?
03/29/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
What about using it ironically, like seeing two guys make out?
Well, in that case, you would literally mean, "that's so homosexual," so I personally would not be offended.

In general, it just makes the person saying it sound like an ignorant, inconsiderate 15 year-old. I am currently weaning myself out of saying "That's so retarded," and I'm ashamed I ever used it in the first place.
03/29/2011
Victoria Victoria
You know what's sad? That a mean-spirited blogger is actually mocking this thread on Twitter this week... and is totally discounting the productive conversation that has come out of it, and everyone who has shared in this thread thus far. You have shown compassion, consciousness, and levity.

There is no shame in asking questions in this community. So, despite someone scolding you elsewhere, I truly hope everyone here never fears being mocked for their questions. If you don't ask, and you don't listen, then you don't learn other perspectives...and that seems pretty damn ignorant to me.
03/29/2011
Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Yes, it's offensive. And the excuse that people don't mean it "that way" doesn't make it any better. I have yet to have someone explain to me how the phrase "That's so gay" can be used in a non-offensive way, and I don't believe anyone ever *could* explain it.

I don't know how many times I have tried to explain to someone that using "gay" in the same way you would use the word "stupid" means that you are equating "gay" with "stupid." I've had *so* many discussions/arguments with people about this, and even when it starts out as just a discussion, it always ends up being an argument.

I mean, I see it this way -- would you say "That's so retarded"? That's seen as an undesirable phrase to use, obviously because it's casting developmental delays in a negative light. So why in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all his noodly appendages would you ever think that equating "gay" with "stupid" is acceptable? Sadly, though, the people I've tried to explain this to apparently don't see the comparison.

I understand that some people are truly trying to find out exactly WHY people find the phrase "that's so gay" to be offensive, and I always try to explain and educate whenever I can. But it's really, really difficult when people won't even try to see the other side.

And, you know, there's also the fact that "offensive" is a largely subjective term. I find that when I end up in an argument with someone over why "that's so gay" can be offensive, the other person invariably brings up the fact that they have a gay friend who thinks it's okay. But the thing is: different people are offended by different things, and no one has the right to dictate what others are offended by. If you use the phrase "that's so gay" in someone's presence and they tell you that they find it offensive, and ask you to not use it in their presence, you don't fume and argue. You simply apologize for having offended them, and you don't use it in their presence.

Personally, I'd like it if the phrase lost popularity and was never used again; but I know that's most likely never going to happen. I just wish people would try to understand more about why others might possibly be offended by it.
03/29/2011
Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
Well, in that case, you would literally mean, "that's so homosexual," so I personally would not be offended.



In general, it just makes the person saying it sound like an ignorant, inconsiderate 15 year-old. I am ... More
I weaned myself out of saying "That's so retarded" when I began volunteering with the Special Olympics and realized how awful it sounded. Like you, I'm ashamed that I ever used it in the first place.
03/29/2011
Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Zombie
I honestly don't feel that it's offensive. I think there are ways people can make it offensive. I have gay friends and I use that expression around them all the time and no one knows the difference. It's actually kind of funny because ... More
To be honest, I don't know how you can say that you use words like "gay" and "retarded" and don't mean them in an offensive way, but I'm not going to second-guess your intentions.



I am, however, going to say that I find your assertion that people who are offended by such terms are being "too sensitive" or "wanting to cause drama" disturbing and more than a little ridiculous.



You don't have the right to dictate what offends people. If you say something like "Oh, that's so retarded!" about a band, or a TV show, or whatever, and someone in the group you're in has a relative with a developmental disability, are you going to tell them they're trying to cause drama if they get offended?



Again, you have the right to think that these words are not offensive, and no one has the right to tell you that you shouldn't be (although they can certainly try to educate you.) On the flipside, though, you also do not have the right to tell others what they should or should not be offended by.
03/29/2011
Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
You know what's sad? That a mean-spirited blogger is actually mocking this thread on Twitter this week... and is totally discounting the productive conversation that has come out of it, and everyone who has shared in this thread thus far. You ... More
"If you don't ask, and you don't listen, then you don't learn other perspectives...and that seems pretty damn ignorant to me."

Very much so, yes. It takes a bit of courage to ask stuff like this, to talk about it, calmly, and to help your peers.
03/29/2011
ButchAndFemme ButchAndFemme
In my opinion, it absolutely depends on the context, who is involved in the conversation, and how well the people involved in the discussion know each other.
03/29/2011
toxie m toxie m
I generally find it offensive and I've told people off when I heard them say it. Although there *might* be situations when it's passable, most times it's not and I'm glad that it seems to be going out of speech style, at least where I live.
03/29/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by Kat Shanahan
I weaned myself out of saying "That's so retarded" when I began volunteering with the Special Olympics and realized how awful it sounded. Like you, I'm ashamed that I ever used it in the first place.
Well, as long as we're improving ourselves, I don't think we really have any reason to be ashamed.

I'm not going to read the person's Twitter thing because I don't like getting involved with internet drama and BS. However, I will hypothesize that the person mocking this thread is probably the "ignorant, inconsiderate 15 year-old" I mentioned earlier.
03/30/2011
Curves Curves
totally offensive.
04/02/2011
extrafun extrafun
I voted other, manly because im not guy and how would i know if it is truely offensive. There are things that offend me and not others but I try not to let it bother me. If you need and example Im a volenteer fire fighter some have said we only do it for the adrinaline rush, maybe or maybe not but unless your willing to do or have done it how can you judge it.
04/02/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I would say offensive. I don't like to call people out on it, but I'm kinda shy. I have sometimes responded to the phrase "That's so gay" with "I wish, it would be much better if it was"
04/04/2011
tigerkate tigerkate
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
You know what's sad? That a mean-spirited blogger is actually mocking this thread on Twitter this week... and is totally discounting the productive conversation that has come out of it, and everyone who has shared in this thread thus far. You ... More
I am sad to see that someone has the urge to mock a serious, honest question like that.
04/05/2011
Total posts: 238
Unique posters: 199