Am I still a gold star?

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Am I still a gold star?

Tangles Tangles
I don't think at all that it makes anyone better to be able to call themselves a "gold star", but I'm curious. I have has sex with men who are transgender. I by no means am trying to imply that being trans* makes anyone less of a man. The anatomy is generally different, though.

So I'm wondering how people factor that into a person's gold star status. Is the anatomy what counts in that situation, or the identity of one's sexual partner?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, you're a gold star
19  (66%)
Nope, you're not a gold star
10  (34%)
Total votes: 29
Poll is closed
03/19/2012
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Badass Badass
You're a gold star if you wanna be a gold star.
03/20/2012
Tangles Tangles
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
You're a gold star if you wanna be a gold star.
Cool.
03/20/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I think the gold star concept is a little silly. To be perfectly honest, its only your word to go on.
If you are really going to be critical about it, I think it would depend on what kind of sex you have. I think that if you had vaginal sex, you may not be a gold star. But it really depends on what you decide.
03/20/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I don't understand the concept. You get a "gold star" if you have never had sex with a cismale?

I've never had sex with a woman. What does that give me? (That was a rhetorical question. I don't really classify things like that. Have sex with whoever you want. Why do you need a "star" to prove something?)

Although ALL the transgendered men I know ARE men. They identify as men, therefor they are men. I would think it would "count" (if you need to count those things) certainly as "having sex with a man." Otherwise, you are saying that FtM males are not men. And, they are.

But, hey, if you want a gold star.....
03/20/2012
Ghost Ghost
What is a gold star?....
03/20/2012
sneako sneako
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangles
I don't think at all that it makes anyone better to be able to call themselves a "gold star", but I'm curious. I have has sex with men who are transgender. I by no means am trying to imply that being trans* makes anyone less of a ...
what is a gold star? this sounds pretty messed up, honestly...
03/21/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
What is a gold star? I feel like I learn so much about new terms on here...
03/21/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by BlooJay
What is a gold star? I feel like I learn so much about new terms on here...
A gold star would be a gay man who has only had sex with me or a lesbian who has only had sex with women.
03/21/2012
Ciao. Ciao.
The whole gold star concept is really absurd, have sex with who you want to have sex with (as long as it's consensual!) and don't worry about the categories.
03/21/2012
Positwist Positwist
If you've had sex with someone who identifies as a dude, you're definitely not a gold star.

The gold star distinction is silly in my book (it implies that gold stars are "more lesbian" than those of us who've shagged dudes), so it's not worth undermining someone's identity so you can have your claim to it.

Unless of course "gold star" is an important part of your identity... Then I dunno.
03/21/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
The whole gold star concept is really absurd, have sex with who you want to have sex with (as long as it's consensual!) and don't worry about the categories.
agree!
03/21/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
The whole gold star concept is really absurd, have sex with who you want to have sex with (as long as it's consensual!) and don't worry about the categories.
Double post, sorry!
03/21/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
A gold star would be a gay man who has only had sex with me or a lesbian who has only had sex with women.
ah!!! lol. i would just call that a 100% gay male. or a 100% strictly lesbian gal.
03/21/2012
NurseKitty NurseKitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
The whole gold star concept is really absurd, have sex with who you want to have sex with (as long as it's consensual!) and don't worry about the categories.
have to agree.
03/22/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
ah!!! lol. i would just call that a 100% gay male. or a 100% strictly lesbian gal.
I think it has more to do with actual experience than attraction. I have known of 100% gays to have 'experimented.'
03/22/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I think it has more to do with actual experience than attraction. I have known of 100% gays to have 'experimented.'
Absolutely. Also, a lot of gay and lesbians don't come out when in their teens, due to pressure from families or religions or many reasons. A lot of these people tend to date and even have sex with members of the opposite sex, until they are ready to plunge in and come out.

I know a lot of gay and lesbian people who have done this (I'm a little older than some of the 20 somethings on Eden and being gay wasn't always as accepted as it is today, when I was a teen or 20 something) I don't consider these people "less gay" or "less lesbian" than someone who had only had sex with those of the same sex. (I never would have said to my step sister, "You don't get a gold star. You fucked dudes before you came out." Not only would I consider this incredibly rude, it doesn't matter, coming out was VERY difficult for her (we were raised heavy Catholic) and it made no difference on her identity once she did come out.)

Honestly, you are who you identify as. I don't think what you did the past has that much influence on what people should call you, label you or consider you.

Hey, if someone wants a gold star, I have a whole box of them in my closet, from when I taught preschool. You're welcome to them.
03/22/2012
Caus Caus
This is my first time hearing about a "Gold Star" phrase. How odd.
03/22/2012
Mia.The.Wonder.Slut Mia.The.Wonder.Slut
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I don't understand the concept. You get a "gold star" if you have never had sex with a cismale?

I've never had sex with a woman. What does that give me? (That was a rhetorical question. I don't really classify things ...
Well put. I've never even heard of "gold star" status, and I think it's kind of ridiculous.
03/22/2012
tigertiger tigertiger
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangles
I don't think at all that it makes anyone better to be able to call themselves a "gold star", but I'm curious. I have has sex with men who are transgender. I by no means am trying to imply that being trans* makes anyone less of a ...
^thread illuminating why strict gender binary is stupid
03/22/2012
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Just learned something new today by reading this post After learning what "gold star" means, it seems like an elitist term to classify people.
03/22/2012
SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
I really don't like this term. It makes it sound like you're less of a gay man or a lesbian by having other sexual experiences. I feel like it promotes that you have to be strict to what sex you enjoy loving. Just, no.
03/24/2012
Roz W Roz W
It's a silly term, and your partner's identity matters.
03/25/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I have never met anyone who takes the term 'gold star' very seriously. I think of it as just a silly identifier, like trekie. There is no need to get worked up about that identity. No one can claim that you arn't what you say you are.
03/25/2012
tigertiger tigertiger
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
I really don't like this term. It makes it sound like you're less of a gay man or a lesbian by having other sexual experiences. I feel like it promotes that you have to be strict to what sex you enjoy loving. Just, no.
yes this exactly
03/28/2012
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I have never met anyone who takes the term 'gold star' very seriously. I think of it as just a silly identifier, like trekie. There is no need to get worked up about that identity. No one can claim that you arn't what you say you are.
This.

It's just not that big of a deal.
03/29/2012
apreslapetitmort apreslapetitmort
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
If you've had sex with someone who identifies as a dude, you're definitely not a gold star.

The gold star distinction is silly in my book (it implies that gold stars are "more lesbian" than those of us who've shagged ...
I agree. I've had sex with men, women, bigender and agendered people... Some times you never know how a person identifies anyway (one night stands or whatever. You just assume they're male/female, you're not really gonna go into a deep gender-convo whilst you're ripping each others clothes off, eh?)

A man is a man, no matter their genetalia. You should enjoy sex and not worry about the silly labels.
04/08/2012
lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangles
I don't think at all that it makes anyone better to be able to call themselves a "gold star", but I'm curious. I have has sex with men who are transgender. I by no means am trying to imply that being trans* makes anyone less of a ...
my man thinks so
04/08/2012
zz1aag zz1aag
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangles
I don't think at all that it makes anyone better to be able to call themselves a "gold star", but I'm curious. I have has sex with men who are transgender. I by no means am trying to imply that being trans* makes anyone less of a ...
only been with same sex
10/12/2012
A.S. A.S.
[...]
10/18/2012
Total posts: 30
Unique posters: 23