where are all the awesome feminist queer women at?

  • Get a Free Rabbit Vibe with Orders $59+

where are all the awesome feminist queer women at?

divineexploit divineexploit
one is making this discussion

i want to follow other awesome queer women and make friends with them all

then we can all lol at all the heteronormativity and sexism on here together
11/29/2011
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
hyperballad hyperballad
hello :3

seconding this
11/29/2011
Destri Destri
Me three!
11/29/2011
Gingy Gingy
I try not to laugh at anyone's preferences
11/29/2011
divineexploit divineexploit
Quote:
Originally posted by Gingy
I try not to laugh at anyone's preferences
i try not to equate heteronormativity and heterosexuality

not that the latter is above a good ribbing
11/29/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
I find there's less heteronormativity and sexism on here than most places, to be fair. That's why I hang around.
11/29/2011
hyperballad hyperballad
Quote:
Originally posted by Gingy
I try not to laugh at anyone's preferences
i have no problem mocking anyone who encourages compulsory heterosexuality tbh
11/29/2011
divineexploit divineexploit
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I find there's less heteronormativity and sexism on here than most places, to be fair. That's why I hang around.
haha, well yeah, but that's not exactly hard unfortunately

i'm also pretty spoiled wrt my internet hangouts
11/29/2011
zeebot zeebot
Wooooo awesome!
11/29/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by divineexploit
haha, well yeah, but that's not exactly hard unfortunately

i'm also pretty spoiled wrt my internet hangouts
True. I find myself shocked all too often when I find myself in venues that are sex-negative, heteronormative, and gender policing.

I do see what you mean with some people around here though.
11/29/2011
Chirple Chirple
Well, I'm 2/3. I'd say I'm feminist and queer, but I don't identify as a woman.
11/30/2011
Ghost Ghost
I'm a feminist, sex-positive female, but I am married to a man. I guess I don't count. :/
11/30/2011
Vanille Vanille
I'm a woman, and a lesbian, but...I don't consider myself a feminist. I guess I'm kinda sorta in the middle. I'm all for gender equality and women's rights n' all that.
11/30/2011
divineexploit divineexploit
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
I'm a feminist, sex-positive female, but I am married to a man. I guess I don't count. :/
well, your profile does say you're heterosexual, soooo

which begs the question, why do you use a cover to a book that demonized and objectified lesbians for your avatar?
11/30/2011
Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by divineexploit
well, your profile does say you're heterosexual, soooo

which begs the question, why do you use a cover to a book that demonized and objectified lesbians for your avatar?
I do it for the same reason that people took the word "fag" (previously negative) and created a positive connotation around it. Is that ok with you?

Language, as you are clearly aware, provokes strong feelings. However, we have power over language.

And by the way, queer people need heterosexual allies. The more you push people away because they "conform to the norm", the less people will understand and champion your cause. I understand the need for belonging and community, and allowing heterosexuals into your club may seem like a breech of etiquette, but you are perpetuating the same argument that has been used by the majority to marginalize the minority throughout history: people who are different from myself can be ignored.
11/30/2011
divineexploit divineexploit
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
I do it for the same reason that people took the word "fag" (previously negative) and created a positive connotation around it. Is that ok with you?

Language, as you are clearly aware, provokes strong feelings. However, we have power ...
um no, it's not okay with me, because the only people who can reclaim words and concepts are members of the affected group. a straight person doing it is just... another straight person loling at a token of my oppression.

i don't need "allies" either. certainly not ones who don't understand why it is valuable and important to me to connect to other queer women. and it's certainly not equivalent, primarily because i do not have the societal power to harm people when i exclude them. excluding straight people sometimes functions to give me brief respites from straight privilege and the hurtful actions it can bring about in even the most well-meaning of people, and it also provides me with a space that is full of people like me, which is a source of strength in that it shatters the illusion our heterosexist society builds that i am alone, aberrant, exceptional in a bad way, etc.

other queer people and i can fight our own fight. and people who genuinely care will still be with us, and eventually hearts and minds will be changed. we don't /need/ anyone.

and for that matter, you're not entitled to queer people's constant approval, just by being straight.
11/30/2011
Ghost Ghost
First of all, I don't see how I have been asking for anyone's approval of my sexual proclivities. Second of all, I can see how my avatar offended you, but I don't understand how you made the jump to me "laughing" a your oppression. And Thirdly, while I understand and sympathize with your anger, I am still of the belief that pushing people away because they don't fit your lifestyle is hurtful to your cause. You said yourself that "people who genuinely care will still be with us, and eventually hearts and minds will be changed." If you continue to act so aggressively toward others and discount them as "heterosexist" , etc., people really won't "still be with you" and no one's heart or mind will be changed.
11/30/2011
divineexploit divineexploit
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
First of all, I don't see how I have been asking for anyone's approval of my sexual proclivities. Second of all, I can see how my avatar offended you, but I don't understand how you made the jump to me "laughing" a your ...
well, i assume you're using it as a funny joke, lol that's so silly, satan was a lesbian, those crazy old-timers kind of thing. which does involve laughing.

this is me being not-hostile. maybe you should evaluate why you feel attacked right now. is it because you feel entitled to my gratitude because you endorse the idea that i should have some basic human rights? is it because, as a straight person raised in a heterosexist society, you have been groomed not to be challenged on your straight privilege or the actions it causes?

and btw, i wasn't talking about approval of your sexual proclivities. i was talking about your actions wrt queer people.
11/30/2011
hyperballad hyperballad
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
First of all, I don't see how I have been asking for anyone's approval of my sexual proclivities. Second of all, I can see how my avatar offended you, but I don't understand how you made the jump to me "laughing" a your ...
are you seriously counting yourself as an LGBT ally while you tell a gay woman that she's not only required to include straight people into LGBT spaces but that if she doesn't she's responsible for homophobia?

your initial comment in this discussion post was just to express how offended you were that you aren't being included in a space for queer women. do you not see your privilege there? you don't have a right to LGBT spaces, and being excluded from them doesn't make you oppressed. furthermore, we don't even have the power to treat you the way straight people treat us. it's not the same - we're not being closed minded or bigoted, we're protecting ourselves, and if you can't see that, then you really don't deserve to be calling yourself an ally. and we definitely don't need allies like you, who demand to be front and center in the one community where they aren't. you come first everywhere else, so stop complaining that you aren't getting special treatment here of all places.
11/30/2011
Ghost Ghost
The fact that I'm a terrible excuse for a person aside, how can we (people who are not LGBT) understand the problem and the prospective solutions if we can't at least take part in the conversation?
11/30/2011
Gingy Gingy
can't we all just get along
11/30/2011
hyperballad hyperballad
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
The fact that I'm a terrible excuse for a person aside, how can we (people who are not LGBT) understand the problem and the prospective solutions if we can't at least take part in the conversation?
why do you need to take part in order to learn? you sound like someone who needs to be told to see with their eyes and not their hands tbh. understanding doesn't mean contributing, and saying "i guess i don't count" when someone brings up queer women isn't trying to understand the problem or take part, it's making the discussion about you and you alone. which is why we've spent this thread discussing why you can't be a part of our community instead of what we wanted to talk about. you've effectively made a discussion about queer women into a discussion about straight people. when allies demand to be part of the community, you don't just take part, you take control. which is why we need spaces apart from you.

and let's not get into the manipulative "omg i'm so terrible" bit. i never attacked you, personally or otherwise, so playing the martyr isn't going to help you here. perhaps you should take divineexploit's advice and examine why you feel attacked in this discussion.
11/30/2011
divineexploit divineexploit
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
The fact that I'm a terrible excuse for a person aside, how can we (people who are not LGBT) understand the problem and the prospective solutions if we can't at least take part in the conversation?
uhhhh, by listening? respectfully participating in conversations you ARE wanted in / invited to.

but this thread right here isn't about you, it's not for your learning opportunity. it's just supposed to be a thread where queer women can post and be like "whoo bein' gay" and follow each other. and you made it about you and straight people as a whole.
11/30/2011
Chirple Chirple
I'm not really sure where I stand in the "community".

I don't identify strongly as a woman, but more so than with men. Women's issues have always been important to me, it is what society identifies me as and treats me as, so I have plenty of first-hand experience. Even if one day I don't appear female, I will still care. It's been such a big part of my life and the feminist community has been amazing for me.


More on topic... the websites I go to are very inclusive and understanding. It sucks that the "real world" isn't like that. I wish I could meet more awesome people like I see on my Tumblr in person. I know they're out there, I just haven't knowingly run into any. I'm always surprised when even what I think is a common sense feminist idea doesn't make sense or seems "stupid" to all those IRL people.
12/01/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm not sure where I stand, either. I'm genderqueer and identify as Pan-demisexual. Am I welcome to contribute to the conversation or would you rather I leave? I do understand if you'd rather I not be involved.
12/01/2011
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 9