Originally posted by
daniel and frances
Would you consider giving your mother a gift card from a sex toy shop for this hallowed celebration of the woman-who-did-the-hori zontal-mambo in order to bear you?
Not to my mother. She's in her 70s, Catholic, filled with Catholic Guilt about everything. Thinks sex is dirty. I have NO idea what to get her for Mother's Day. No jewelry, because she's "allergic to metal, even gold." No knick knacks, because supposedly she's selling her condo and moving and "doesn't want a lot of junk to move." (Who would move and sell a house, if they didn't absolutely have to in this economy?)
No books, because she really doesn't have any interests. No plants because "I have no good light in my condo."
No clothes, because she has only special colors she wears (she had her colors "done" in the 70s and still rigidly sticks to these color combinations that were easy to find in 1978, but are impossible to find now. Even if you think you've got her the right color SHE says it's wrong.) No food or candy because she's always "on a diet." If you buy her a gift card she says, "Oh, thank you, but I don't really shop there
She's impossible to buy for.
Maybe I should
just get her a vibrator to shut her up.