Originally posted by
I've been reading a lot about how intrusive/involved parents are in their kids lives today. My parents were stricter than most of my friends' parents, but they were still mostly hands-off. For some examples, they sent me on a 500 mile bus
I've been reading a lot about how intrusive/involved parents are in their kids lives today. My parents were stricter than most of my friends' parents, but they were still mostly hands-off. For some examples, they sent me on a 500 mile bus trip, by myself, to visit relatives when I was 12. My mom stumbled across my porn stash when I was 15 and merely asked that I hide it better. After I left for college, I usually spoke to them less than once a week for the rest of their lives. I'm curious to know what your parents are/were like.
Well, for one thing, there is a really big difference between being intrusive
. There isn't anything wrong with being involved in your kid's lives. I mean, that is what a parent's job is, to be involved. I think it'd kind of be neglect if you were not involved in your kid's life. However, intrusive -- not usually a good thing.
I'm 22 and my parents were not absent in the least while I was growing up, but they were far from intrusive. I had my privacy always. My mom believed strongly in that. We always had privacy. She felt that people did not go uninvited into someone else's space. She wouldn't have loved us going and digging through her bedroom as kids, and she never did it to us (me and my sister) growing up. Same when it came to our lives outside the home -- our lives with friends. There's not really much else besides school and friends and parties when you're a kid, but my parents were careful about who I left with. I mean, they wouldn't approve of me leaving with a strange male or spending the night with random guys, but they never really kept me cooped up and all. They let us go out and do plenty, but we were raised with respect -- for ourselves and others. We just
knew better than to do anything too f'd up, ya know? That, I think was probably one of the most important things I've taken from them -- respect for myself and others. Morals and values too.
They never had to helicopter me or my sister. We were able to go and do and have fun, but they made sure we knew better than to do certain things. Not that that stopped us from experimenting, but there was always an invisible line.
I could not imagine not ever speaking to my parents. They are amazing people and I'd never abandon them. I see them daily and wouldn't ever want to fade away and not have such a great relationship with them. My parents are actually 2 of my favorite people. Me and my partner spend a lot of time with our families and we love it.
My parent's weren't careless, but they were easy going. They were at home with us most evenings and always cared about what was going on with us, what we were up to and so on. We had a good relationship though. We could openly talk, laugh and have a good time. No fear and intimidation or snooping and being a "helicopter." Lol.