Does your parent's opinion matter?

SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
When it comes to making decisions about things like moving, kids, relationships, etc, does your parent's opinion on the subject matter?

In my case, it's my grandparents. They were the ones that raised me, and provided me with a comfortable life. But they were extremely overprotective (to the point I wasn't able to check the mail by myself at age 18, and I have never spent the night or gone out with a friend). Now, my papa in particular, has very strong opinions about everything I do. Most recently, it has been my decision to move to a town about 2 hours away from him so my BF could be closer to his daughter. This move would save us a good $400 a month on gas and rent which is good seeing as we are living off his disability checks.

My papa feels like I am moving too far away from my family. While I take my family's concerns to heart, I still feel like this is the right move for me at this point in my life.

What about you?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a woman and my parent's opinions matter alot
14
I am a woman and my parent's opinions matter a little
22
I am a woman and my parent's opinions don't matter
18
I am a man and my parent's opinions matter alot
I am a man and my parent's opinions matter a little
11
I am a man and my parent's opinions dont' matter
2
The infamous -other-...
3
We're adults, why should our parents matter at all? We spent our entire childhood listening to them!
8
I loves my momm and daddy and would do whatever they say! <3
1
Total votes: 79 (67 voters)
Poll is closed
01/20/2012
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squire squire
My parent's opinions matter to me to a point, and tend to focus more on values...if the opinion is challenging yet supportive of my competency then I will listen to anything they have to say as it all becomes valuable. Outside of this, if it's not good for me, crosses personal boundaries, or is devaluing then it's in one ear and out the other. I'm too independent to be pulled one way, I'd rather just be shown choices
01/20/2012
tA tA
They matter, but if it saved a bunch of money or would be good for me, then I'd choose the 'good for me' option over anything else.
01/20/2012
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
My dad's opinion matters a lot more than my mothers. It's only to a certain point though. I'll listen to his opinions and such, but I'm not going to change my mind completely about something.
01/20/2012
dhig dhig
i'm a male and i always take their opinions into account, but i don't let them rule me
01/20/2012
voenne voenne
You're an adult and are right to make your own decisions, so don't feel too bad. It's hard making decisions like that.

I take my family's opinions to heart as well, but in the end it's my life, and I want to make my own good and bad decisions to learn from. I would never do anything against their wishes just to rebel, though. Nor will I choose what makes me unhappy because I want to please them.
01/20/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
a little bit, about certain things, but not too much.
01/20/2012
Elnoa Elnoa
It does and it doesn't. I value their input, but they are not pushy about how I should live my life.
01/21/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
I'm very close with my dad, and his opinion matters a LOT. I wish I had listened to him more when I was younger, actually.
01/21/2012
LAndJ LAndJ
Do what is right for you. I take my parent's advice into account, but don't always follow it.
01/21/2012
js250 js250
I listen to their opinions but at the same time, I am an adult and have to do what is right for me.
01/21/2012
ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
I LOVE my parents and could not be happier about how I was raised. Many people are surprised that I never really had a rebellious phase growing up, but I always had the thought in my head, "If I drink/do this wrong thing/fail this class/etc, my parents will be let down by this action." It was a good mindset to have and keep me out of trouble when I was young. I ran major decisions by them, even through college, and strongly considered their opinions (which was more often a request for their permission).

I'm 25 now. I'm more confident in myself, my ideas and wishes, and go about my day with less need for validation from others. This had led me to more often call my parents up and tell them I'm going to do something (such as a big travel plan or move out on my own) rather than ask for their permission. The last two years have been a hard transition for them as I move from kid to independent woman, but I can vouch that we have a much better relationship now. We have the love of family, but we are much more equal now. And it's healthier to live life beholden to MYSELF, not others.

Do what is right for you.
01/21/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
My mother's opinion matters a lot to me, but if it came down to saving that much money a month and I was in a stable healthy relationship, I would make the move. I know that when my cousin moved halfway across the country with her son to live with her boyfriend, her mom was not happy about it at all and my mom was the only person who supported her in doing it.

At this point in my life, I tell my mom just about everything that I'm planning on doing, and she lets me know whether she approves or disapproves (mostly approving) and supports me either way.
01/21/2012
BobbiJay BobbiJay
While my parents opinion maters they have always allowed me to make my own decisions. My parents strongly believe in the "you made you bed , now lie in it" way of raising. They will give me their opinion but it's up to me if I follow it.
01/21/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by SaMiKaY
When it comes to making decisions about things like moving, kids, relationships, etc, does your parent's opinion on the subject matter?

In my case, it's my grandparents. They were the ones that raised me, and provided me with a ... More
Their opinions matter somewhat. I like to keep them happy.
01/21/2012
Kitka Kitka
I stopped caring about my parents' opinions on things once they decided they didn't have time to care about my younger sister when she was going through some horrible things she ended up needing therapy for. I barely talk to my parents anymore to be honest.
01/21/2012
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
My parents have a very archaic way at looking at things. My mother thinks that I will be moving back home after I graduate from college, and she expects me to follow her faith, and even expects me to work at her old job. LOL hell no.

I've lived on my own for almost three years and I'm perfectly content with the life I live now. I love my parents but from a distance. If I lived my life according to every single input they've submitted, I'd be miserable as hell. I ask their opinion if I need it, but I take with it a grain of salt.
01/21/2012
Gracie Gracie
Their opinions matter alot, but never to the point where I would go against what I felt was right or best. Over the years we have disagreed about many of my parenting choices, but at the end of the day we respect each other's opinions. Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree!
01/21/2012
BobbiJay BobbiJay
Quote:
Originally posted by BobbiJay
While my parents opinion maters they have always allowed me to make my own decisions. My parents strongly believe in the "you made you bed , now lie in it" way of raising. They will give me their opinion but it's up to me if I follow it.
Matters*
01/21/2012
FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
I tend to take their advice into consideration, and they often have useful information to share. But in the end, my life is in my hands, not theirs.
01/21/2012
Unconventional Unconventional
I care a lot what my parents think, and it makes me feel horrible when they disapprove of my decisions. That being said, I do what I feel is right, regardless of what they say.
01/21/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
In your situation, I totally understand! It sounds like it's time for you to make your own decisions in life and I see nothing wrong with that as long as you're sure it's the right move. However, my parents are almost the opposite so their opinions matter greatly. Mostly because they've never judged me or forbidden me from seeing someone, but they give me their advice and aren't critical or belittling about my decisions. They've always let me make my own decisions and a lot of times they aren't included at all, but I always value anything they have to say because it's always kind, wise and helpful. Usually they just live their own lives and I live mine though.
01/25/2012
petname petname
No, one should definitely not live by what their parents say. You should take the opinion of your parents the way you would from any other adult: you can consider what they're saying and decide whether it applies to you or you agree with it, but it shouldn't change your decision any more than it would coming from someone else. Once you are an adult, parents are not to be blindly obeyed anymore. They once taught you about the world when you needed it, but now you are able to make your own decisions.
03/08/2012
Mwar Mwar
Perhaps I am parsing words, but I don't care about opinions. I care about what my parents have to say in respect to what life experience they have. They have a right to their opinion, but I want more of an input with knowledge.

I love my parents, but we are very different in terms of philosophy and ideology. When I decide to have kids it'll be an adventure.

Good luck with the move
03/08/2012
MrGoodTool MrGoodTool
It really depends on the situation.
03/09/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SaMiKaY
When it comes to making decisions about things like moving, kids, relationships, etc, does your parent's opinion on the subject matter?

In my case, it's my grandparents. They were the ones that raised me, and provided me with a ... More
Female. It's just my mom, but she already knows that I am a different parent and a different person.
06/17/2012
booboo111926 booboo111926
yess. im very close with my parents and they're opinion does matter
06/17/2012
Sinfully Sinfully
My parents opinion matters a lot to me. At the same time if it comes to certain things I will do them anyways, even if they disapprove. Such as a boyfriend I am seeing or things like that.
06/17/2012
Deeder Deeder
My husband and I have been kicking around a similar issue for a while. We've talked about the possibility of moving for work reasons (promotions, etc.), but we're still not sure because of how it might effect our parents. On one hand, we don't want to pull our kids too far away from their grandparents, but at the same time we need to consider that it can mean more income (and hopefully a better upbringing) for our family.

Really, it's just one of those things that requires a lot of thinking over. When it comes down to it, you just have to do what is best for you. Good luck with whatever you choose!
06/18/2012
mistre$$ mistre$$
My family's opinions on my life are irrelevant to me. What matters most is how I feel and what I am comfortable with, not other people, particularly any of them. It's my life, why should I let anyone else dictate how I should live it?
06/18/2012
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Total posts: 38
Unique posters: 37