Virginity

  • Get a Free Rabbit Vibe with Orders $59+

Virginity

Miss T Miss T
I am the very proud mother of an 18 year old daughter who is still a virgin by choice. She has been in a few long term relationships, but is saving herself for marriage. I'm very proud of her for wanting to complete college and make something of herself before marriage and kids. So what I was wondering is how many of you EF members saved yourself for marriage or have daughters that are.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I was a virgin until I was married
4
I was not a virgin when I married
47
I have a daughter that is saving herself for marriage
2
I have a daughter that didn't save herself for marriage
2
The infamous OTHER..
33
Total votes: 88 (81 voters)
Poll is closed
02/15/2011
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I was not a virgin when I got married. I had, at one time, planned on being so, and it was my parents of all people that convinced me that may not be the smartest way to go. They certainly weren't pushing me into bed with anyone, but they explained (in the least embarrassing terms possible) that physical incompatibility can be a complete deal breaker in a relationship. Knowing what I do now, I completely agree with them.

They didn't want me to marry someone only to end up in a completely incompatible relationship and be unsatisfied for my entire adult life. They encouraged me to take my time and never be rushed, but to consider being sure that anyone I was going to be with forever was compatible with me in ALL ways. It's one of the strangest, yet smartest, things they ever did for me.
02/15/2011
BadassFatass BadassFatass
I'm not married but I'm also not a virgin. I never really had the desire to save myself for marriage. I want to know that I have a partner who at least cares about satisfying me and wants us to have pleasurable experiences together. That is much more important to me.
02/15/2011
That Guy That Guy
I'm not married, not a virgin, but I did wait until I was with my girlfriend for several years to have sex. Having been in the same relationship for most of my adult life, and mind you I can't speak for women here, but my experience suggests that saving it for marriage is probably a good way to end up married too early to somebody with whom you are sexually incompatible.
02/15/2011
liilii080 liilii080
I'm not married yet and no virgin. My mother told me to test drive the car before I bought it and I think it was sound advice. If the sexual chemistry isn't there, I didn't want to find out too late. While my mother encouraged me to test drive, it was not a license to be promiscuous and I used good judgement in my encounters and was glad to have her blessing.
02/15/2011
Dusk Dusk
I'm not married yet, but my partner and I decided we were ready to take the next step and have intercourse. We had both originally planned to wait until marriage, but we talked about it for many months and decided that waiting just didn't make a lot of sense to us. We wanted to see how our chemistry worked out, and we wanted sex as another tool to use in our BDSM scenes. It was just the right time for both of us, and I didn't want to rush into marriage simply so I could start a sexual relationship.
02/15/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
My daughters are too young for me to have a daughter who is saving herself. I would hope that I will impart to her the wisdom to either wait until marriage or to wait until she is absolutely ready, in a healthy relationship, and is not feeling pressured. I'm not under the delusion that either one of my daughters will wait until marriage. Sometimes I hope they will make that choice, but as long as they're safe and happy, that's all that really matters to me.

I was not a virgin when I married
02/15/2011
Lady Venus Lady Venus
I definitely was not a virgin as I had 2 children previously.

Sometimes I do wish I had waited, but I wouldn't have the kids I have today and I wouldn't never trade them in for the world. I do wish I was more sexually educated when I started having sex, then maybe I would have waited and been more cautious as I was a teenage mom of 2 at 16 years old.
02/15/2011
toxie m toxie m
I'm not married nor am I a virgin. I lost my virginity very young specifically to do away with it. Although I'll admit that I was far from "ready", I've never regretted it and sexuality is an important part of my life. I would be a very different person had I waited.

People get married later and later these days, so it's getting less and less reasonable (as I see it) to wait until marriage to have sex. My grandmother was married at 21, but I'm already 22 and I don't plan to be married for at least another 4 years - think of all the fun I'd be missing!

I'm also of the mind that people should find out whether they're sexually compatible before making it legally binding. At one point I was absolutely certain that I was destined to someday marry my best friend of many years. We clicked on a lot of levels but not, as it turned out, sexually. We wanted completely opposite things. Finding that out early was awesome because it gave us the chance to reassess and realize it wasn't meant to be.
02/15/2011
sbon sbon
I'm not married and I'm not a virgin. However, I waited until I was 21 and I found someone who I trust and who I care about greatly. I never had any reason to wait until marriage. I think as long as you are in a healthy relationship and you take the proper safety precautions, sex can be fulfilling for both you and your partner.
02/15/2011
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I wasn't a virgin when I got married.

My girls are only 12 and 13 and we discuss sex very openly. The choice is theirs but we educate them thoroughly on the subject.
02/16/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss T
I am the very proud mother of an 18 year old daughter who is still a virgin by choice. She has been in a few long term relationships, but is saving herself for marriage. I'm very proud of her for wanting to complete college and make something of ...
I resent the implication that marriage and having kids means I never "made something of myself". I am a Mother of three children whom I have homsechooled and hope to see go to college just as I did.

I wasn't a virgin when I got married but I did marry the first guy I had sex with. Still if we hadn't gotten married I would have been ok with that. I hope my daughters decide what is right for their lives without the stereotype that having kids somehow means their lives are meaningless or somehow diminished. I hope they make the same carefully thought out choice about when to have sex that I did.
02/16/2011
Valentinka Valentinka
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
I'm not married yet, but my partner and I decided we were ready to take the next step and have intercourse. We had both originally planned to wait until marriage, but we talked about it for many months and decided that waiting just didn't ...
The same with me =) We had hesitated a lot, but recently finally decided to take that step.
I'm pretty proud of myself, that I finally made a decision + that I've waited till I was 21 and found a great guy I would really love to marry in future if our already long-lasting relationship continues this way.
02/16/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
The government won't let me marry, but even so, I won't be a virgin if I do so.

If I have children, no matter what gender, I will encourage them to wait until they are in a committed relationship where there is love and trust--marriage or not.


I am nobody's mother, but I am somebody, virgin or not, children or not.
02/16/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
The government won't let me marry, but even so, I won't be a virgin if I do so.

If I have children, no matter what gender, I will encourage them to wait until they are in a committed relationship where there is love and ...
You can come visit me with your partner and get married! My state allows gay marriage! (IA)
02/16/2011
Crash Crash
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I was not a virgin when I got married. I had, at one time, planned on being so, and it was my parents of all people that convinced me that may not be the smartest way to go. They certainly weren't pushing me into bed with anyone, but they ...
I completely agree with this. Saving yourself is a nice idea, but it carries some risk with it. Sexual compatibility is a very important part of a relationship.
02/16/2011
Kaltir Kaltir
Quote:
Originally posted by Crash
I completely agree with this. Saving yourself is a nice idea, but it carries some risk with it. Sexual compatibility is a very important part of a relationship.
I agree with you both Except my father didn't try to convince me to or not to, he told everyone he thought I wouldn't last until I was 16. Sadly enough, I waited until I was sixteen, then lost it to spite him.
02/16/2011
Miss T Miss T
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I resent the implication that marriage and having kids means I never "made something of myself". I am a Mother of three children whom I have homsechooled and hope to see go to college just as I did.

I wasn't a virgin when I got ...
I'm sorry I honestly didn't mean for that to sound the way it did. What I meant was I just want her to be financially stable. I wasn't a virgin when I married at the age of 19 and had 3 kids and to be honest I wouldn't change a thing! My kids are my world and my job raising them was not easy being a stay at home mom for almost 20 years and their dad being over the road all the time. Believe me it was hard.

I cherished every minute of it and I do actually miss it! I just want her to be financially stable before having kids because not only is their a lot that we as young parents go without to provide for our children, but the things you want to do for your children but can't afford to do being young parents. So when I said make something of herself I never meant that anyone who married and had kids "never made something of themselves", because I for one fall into that category and my job as a mother has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I guess maybe I should've reread that post before posting it. I will be more careful in the future....I'm a newbie to this community and never meant to offend anyone and if I have... I apologize to you all.
02/16/2011
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
I intended to save myself, but that just didn't happen. At this point, my daughter is saving herself... but she's only 3, so I suppose she could change her mind.
02/16/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss T
I'm sorry I honestly didn't mean for that to sound the way it did. What I meant was I just want her to be financially stable. I wasn't a virgin when I married at the age of 19 and had 3 kids and to be honest I wouldn't change a thing! ...
I think it's OK. I understood what you meant and I have the same hopes for my children. If they decide they want to get married young, then far be it from me to tell them no, BUT I do want them to enjoy and experience all that life has to offer as well. Some of it is easier to experience without being married and having children. I certainly don't expect their virginity throughout. I also think that it's unfair to impose that expectation. I'm not saying you have, but I know parents who do.

But part of what has gotten me feeling like that is that I had friends actually sit down and talk about what "we" (THEY) could do to encourage their children to get married as soon as they're done with high school so they can easily go from their "father's house" to their husband/wife's house without ever being tempted to "sin"

I don't associate with those people anymore
02/16/2011
Envy Envy
I have only had sex once (it wasn't good and very painful with a LOT of blood) so I'm not longer a virgin and I lost it at 21, after completely college and all that jazz. Bf lost his with me. We're not married, and I know his mom would have wanted him to wait until marriage since she's very religious, but marriage isn't something I'm too interested in or have as a goal. And my dad is just overbearing and wants to keep me from any and all guys so I won't very well be telling him anything either.

I can't say he'd be proud if I kept my virginity, more like he'd want me to be a virgin forever.

As for me, i don't ever want children, and my bf doesn't really care about having kids either. his family will be pushing me for some grandkids, though, I know they will, and my dad, well, he's not a fan of children.
02/16/2011
Miss T Miss T
Sadly BBW parents do impose those expectations and your right I would never think of doing that to my kids. My daughter and my oldest son swear that they are never, never having kids! lol I can't imagine encouraging any of my kids into marriage simply to get them out of the house. I'm already not looking forward to them leaving home. My two oldest are in college and are both at home as of right now and I wouldn't have it any other way. lol

As far as the sexual compatibility I totally agree, but it also scares me too. Only because my daughter's best friend who is also like a daughter to me was in a long term relationship in which her bf cheated, contracted herpes, and gave them to her. Now she has this to live with the rest of her life. This poor girl would call me crying because she hurt so bad and was afraid to tell her own mother. So I was the one who not only helped her, got her to a dr, but helped her tell her mother.

My daughter has always been the one to go against the grain so to say. She's a very head strong girl and this decision was hers, along with the decision to be straight edge,(no drugs/alcohol)and to never have children. She wants to adopt, but not have any of her own. Which I feel it is her life, her choices, and all I can do is be a loving, supportive mother no matter what choices she makes in life.
02/16/2011
Miss T Miss T
Quote:
Originally posted by Pleasure Piratess
I intended to save myself, but that just didn't happen. At this point, my daughter is saving herself... but she's only 3, so I suppose she could change her mind.
LMAO Thanks for the smile... This post made my day!
02/16/2011
Alura Une Alura Une
I waited almost a year into my current relationship to go "all the way". Which was a pretty incredible feat for the heathen teenagers my partner and I were back then. I'm glad now I waited that long, it made things interesting. But we went and did it, and I have no regrets. We were each others' firsts. If we waited until marriage, I'd still be a virgin over a decade into this relationship! We haven't married, we don't really feel a need for it.

I know some reasons why some people wait until marriage. It's a personal decision, and I can't really judge someone for not doing something that could complicate their life. But I think a couple who waits could end up marrying incompatible people. I think it is good to get to know a person well before marrying them, and that includes physically. Of course, talking a lot about tastes and such is one way to benefit the situation if one was certain abstinence before marriage was the way to go. A lot of couples don't seem to talk enough before settling down. I've known people who were surprised or horrified by their spouse's beliefs related to sexuality.

I won't be having kids, but if I did, I would encourage them to get to know a person very, very well before they considered getting intimate. But sexual matters are a very personal thing in my family and I wouldn't push too much on my kids.

I think that virginity is something to value, but I think we have in our history put too much value on it. There have been a lot of problems because of this.
02/17/2011
Spilock Spilock
I wasn't a virgin at the time I got married, but I did happen to propose roughly 3 hours before loss of said virginity. We had been in a stable relationship for 2 years prior to that and had talked very much so about when we would finally take each other's virginity. The important thing for us was that it wasn't about the sex, it was about our love for each other.

That said, there's lots of sex now. And our relationship has constantly improved, as we've just passed the 4 years together mark. Whenever we have kids, we'll most likely just tell them to make sure it's the right person. Virginity isn't some holy grail to hold on to, but you don't want to give it away to someone you'll hate the next day.
02/24/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss T
I am the very proud mother of an 18 year old daughter who is still a virgin by choice. She has been in a few long term relationships, but is saving herself for marriage. I'm very proud of her for wanting to complete college and make something of ...
I'm not married yet but I will not be a virgin when I am.
02/25/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Virginity before marriage seems to some like a desirable goal - and it may a good tool for raising teenagers if you want them to delay sexual activity to a more appropriate age.

But in my opinion, once they reach adulthood (18 in my book) the risk is greater than the reward. If they're lucky they'll be married for 40+ years and the quality of their sex life is going to play a major part in the quality of that relationship.

I believe that determining sexually compatibility is a part of the relationship vetting process - due diligence if you will. It seem imprudent to me to walk down the isle - then find out ooops - there's a problem.

My last argument against it is that a young person's sex drive can be so strong that they would consider marriage prematurely. If you're sexually satisfied you'll make more sober judgments about what's best for your future.

I was 35 when I married - would it have been reasonable to stay a virgin all that time - absolutely not going to happen.
02/25/2011
Moein Moein
Cong..

I am sure she will has a very good husband
02/25/2011
Happy Camper Happy Camper
I am not married yet and I am not a virgin. To tell the truth, I'm not even positive that marriage is in the cards for me. I don't mean to sound cynical, but I think marriage is becoming more and more of an option these days. I may get married, I may not. But I don't try to expect one way or the other. So "saving yourself for marriage" can be a confusing thing for me to think about. It seems to assume that everyone will marry. Statistically speaking, the chances are pretty good. But I'm less sure about my generation.
03/02/2011
nicole07 nicole07
I was not a virgin when I got married
04/10/2011
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 50
Unique posters: 44