How old do you think someone needs to be to have a healthy sexual relationship?

Anyone below 18 doesn't generally have the maturity really to understand and enjoy.

I am of the persuasion that we're all, with exceptions, of course, all idiots during our formative years. I'd like to say 17-18, but when I was that age, I was still such an idiot, and so were many of my friends. Of course, it could just have been something in the water...

There are a few 15- or 16-year-olds who could handle it, but mostly not. Almost everyone who started at that age believes they would have been happier if they'd waited a year or two longer.

Although I agree it should be older, realistically thats probably not going to happen. I gave m,y 16 yr old condoms last week because he has started spending a lot of time with one girl. Better safe than to babysit while they are at school.

I don't buy the "brain development" theory, either. The latest reports say that the brain isn't totally developed until FORTY! Who wants to wait until then to have sex?

Also, total "brain development" doesn't equal maturity or being able to think about consequences. Adults like the Duggars are in their 40s (the husband is probably near 50) and they aren't thinking about the consequences of having 19 kids "and counting" I doubt their brains are mature enough to have sex, but that's just my opinion. Yet some people can and DO have satisfying sexual relationships in their mid teens.

The mind and body are NOT separate. The body wants to have sex when it becomes able to be fertile. That means the early/mid teens. Now, not every teen in the modern world is emotionally ready for sex, but many are.

When I was 15 I did the research (no internet to speak of. I did my research with books the encyclopedia in my local and school libraries) to find out how my body worked, how orgasm worked, and also how birth control was obtained and which forms of birth control were available and appropriate for a young woman my age. I then, at 16, when I was emotionally ready to handle a sexual relationship, got myself some birth (at the drug store) control, and used it EVERY SINGLE TIME! Soon after that, I contacted Planned Parenthood and obtained a more effective form of birth control, as well as did a lot of talking with My Man about what would happen if I did become pregnant. (And, I KNEW at that age, that that conversation had to be done BEFORE we ever had sex.)

Teens who "assume" they won't get pregnant, or refuse to go to a doctor to get STD tested or use appropriate birth control are most likely not ready for a sexual relationship, those who will take the responsibilities for their bodies often are.

It has little to do with age, or brain development.

Ideally you would want your teens to wait until they are responsible enough to keep themselves safe from diseases as well as pregnancy. I think it is the responsibility of the parents to EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE. I started asking my mom to put me on birth control at age 12. Instead of taking that as a clue that I may be already thinking about having sex, if I hadn't already (which was the case), she let her fear take over. She thought putting me on birth control would be like condoning sex. So instead, I took it upon myself to go to Planned Parenthood in secret. They gave me free condoms in a brown paper bag, in fact this is where I was supplied with condoms up until I was out of high school. It was also mandatory to go to a "Family Planning" class before they would give me birth control. I learned there how to put a condom on, and how to take my pills at the same time every day. I also learned about all of the possible STD's out there, as well as stats to show just how many people are infected. The "free clinic" gave me all of the info my parents should have.

I am rambling here, but I do have a point. Was I ready at 12 to start having sex? I was certainly ready physically, having went through puberty at age 9 and 10. I looked like a full grown woman. I was also smart enough and responsible enough to know I needed protection. When it was denied me by my mother, I was fortunate enough to have some one to talk to that helped me figure out how to get that protection on my own. I was also very lucky to have Planned Parenthood. Emotionally though, I can say now that I wasn't ready. Having sex so early, and with men who were way too old for me definitely shaped who I was to become as an adult. I became some one who NEEDED to have sex to feel attractive. In fact, were I to see a shrink I'm sure they would trace most of my psychological issues back to those early sexual years. It took me almost 15 years to realize this though. At 12, 14, 16, 18... you couldn't tell me anything. I thought I knew everything. Do I regret it though? Sometimes, but honestly I like who I have become sexually. I am not sure I would be where am I today had I waited too long to have sex as well as relationships. By the time I was 18, I had mostly "been there, done that", so I was able to be open minded about sex. I had so much fun exploring my body and trying new things. I know a lot of women who didn't get to the point where I am mentally when it comes to sex until they were in their mid forties or early fifties. It always seems so sad to me when I hear their stories about how they have never had an orgasm, or have never even tried a toy. I think "think of all the fun you've missed". Of course, the world today is so much different. I would hope that people are smart enough to use the internet to educate themselves. That's why I promote EF to any one who will listen to me!

Bottom Line: It really does depend on the person, but the best you can do as a parent is educate your kids. Keep an open line of communication if possible, and try to make sure your kids have a great support system outside of your self. If they feel awkward talking to you, hopefully they will have some one else. Buy them books, give them condoms, talk with them frequently... just do SOMETHING. Don't ever think your kid isn't the type to be having sex yet. Do anything and everything that you can to insure that at the very least they have the knowledge and the means to protect themselves.

i think whenever they feel ready. prepare your youngsters because let's face it, kids will do whatever they want. so when they do enter into a relationship, they know what to expect

I think it starts with education and then their emotional maturity. I'm a huge sex education advocate. I think the sooner we are able to teach our kids about sexuality the faster they mature into understanding the benefits and the consequences of their sexual selves and make better judgements. JMO

The sad thing is most likely they'll grow apart so they wont be able to marry their first. Things really did change

I wanted to vote 19+, but I chose 17-18. This is definitely one of those case by case scenarios. It all depends on the individual and the individual's environment. Just based on my own experiences and the legal system, 17-18 sounds like a good age.

if your under 17 you really should focus on other things, because becoming pregnant happens way to fast and way to often!

I think 16 is an ok age. Not the age to say ok hunnie go get some but if your teen does it as long as partner is an appropriate age parents shouldnt make a hugely huge deal.

I don't think it's about age. It's about the environment they're raised in, how they were taught about sex, what they were taught/how much, how mature they are as an individual, etc. It's complicated and different for each person.

19 or older

The age that people should be sexually active in general varies person to person. It all depends on how mature the participants are, safety, a way to support themselves if consequences were to arise, etc. I would like to believe that 17-18 would be a decent time to start but now looking at so many people in the world that are that age and have 2+ kids, I am not a believer anymore.

I voted based on my personal experience, because I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I'd say 19+ because high school promotes a mentality of "supposed to want" and it isn't until you realize that what you're supposed to want and what you do want don't always match up that you're ready to be in a healthy sexual relationship.

I didn't have a properly healthy, honest sexual relationship until I was 21.

I really don't think you can put an age on it, everyone varies based on gender, emotional health and well being, self-esteem, maturity level, previous sexual experiences and a bunch of other factors I'm probably forgetting. I'm 26 and I'm not sure if I feel confident I myself could be in one.

I met my husband when we were in 6th grade, so, about 12 years old. We were barely 14 when we began dating, and were about fifteen when we had sex. We've been together since the beginning of 8th grade, and had sex at the beginning of freshman year. Both of us were straight A students, and were open to talking about anything with each other. But, I really don't think it was our age. By sophomore year, we began talking about college and getting married one day. We realized that marrying young heightens changes of divorce, so we've only recently gotten married (we're both 27).

I think that it was our maturity that made the difference. I asked my mom to put me on the pill (although I claimed it was for period-related reasons). I think that age matters less. If you can mentally handle a sexual relationship, and you're in a committed one, then fine. If you can't talk with your partner about your body and his/hers, then you shouldn't be having sex.

Everyone's different.

I lost my virginity when I was 14 and I "handled" it just fine. Sex is sex, and it's always the same deal no matter how old you are. :|

It really does depend on the person but I believe that a certain amount of emotional growth is necessary for a independent person to learn how to be involved with another.

every one has regrets which is why most say the older the better. I say medically speaking after your growth evens out then it's a better time. Since I know under 15 are gonna go at it and in fact I've seen elementary childern with more mature bodies then me I say educate them whiel they are young. Why because they need to stay busy with something and else they fall back on sex. Not to mention sex is the main thing that is sold in america. even toothpaste sells sex so life happens better fix it or live with it.