Calling all who have ever had a friends with benefits relationship: How did it end up?

LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
I was talking with a friend about FWB relationships. His views of them are that they often end in the couple dating. I disagree. Please vote below
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
We eventually went our separate ways with no problem
40  (53%)
I was left brokenhearted
10  (13%)
They were left brokenhearted
4  (5%)
We became a happy couple as a result of it
10  (13%)
Famous "Other" option
12  (16%)
Total votes: 76
Poll is closed
02/23/2011
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Waterfall Waterfall
Most of my friend with benefits relationships have ended and we still stay friends, but nothing comes of it, or we go our separate ways.
02/23/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Tried it once with my best guy friend from high school when we met up again after I separated from my husband (most people here know my guy friend as Mulder). So it was going well for about four months, then I think he realized it was deeper than just no-strings-attached sex between us (which I didn't mind it being deeper), so he dumped me without telling me and we haven't spoken to each other in almost a year. Funny thing is that we're still friends on FB but he hardly ever posts and we don't comment on each other's pages.

We might be friends again someday, but I don't know if I can live with that now. I talked to his mother over the holidays and she said he hasn't been with anyone else since me and that he still has feelings for me. But who really knows.
02/23/2011
Pixel Pixel
I've been FWBs with a buddy of mine for almost 2 years now. We're still totally cool and drama free, and whenever we are dating someone our relationship just goes back to being friends easily.
02/23/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
I have had a few FWBs and fuck buddies over the years. They went fine. The fuck buddies and me went our seperate ways. My past FWBs well we are still friends. Well except for maybe one we are no longer friends but that was due to something else completely.
02/24/2011
Yoda Yoda
Very badly. For about a year I had to do some major damage control, because my "friend" destroyed my reputation. Apparently, "benefits" are actually the acts of a committed relationship, whether you know it or not.
02/25/2011
Tidwtrguy Tidwtrguy
FWBs can work but it takes two like-minded people. Some people want FWBs as a transition or test-bed for a more serious relationship and than can be very challenging.
02/25/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I had a FWB, it ended pretty well. We would hang out for the sex, we had a few things in common but we didn't want to date each other.

One day when I called him up for a booty call, he just told me that he had a friend in town that he really likes and was interested in, so we had to stop our FWB relationship. I was pretty disapointed, but I was happy for him and that was that.

We are not still friends, he is a part of my past life experiences, and I like to think that I am a whole knew person now. I didn't really hang out with a nice crowd, lol.
02/25/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
It ended pretty well. We are still kind of friends.
02/25/2011
liilii080 liilii080
We were a couple on and off and I am upset with myself for it now. I ended up settling when I shouldn't have. Lessons learned I guess.
02/25/2011
xxx xxx
I have a long-standing FWB (on and off for a few years) and it always ends poorly. We are both intense people and we always end up burning each other out. But, we've always ended up going back to it. We will never, ever learn!

My advice to anyone else ... don't do this with someone you have fallen for, and whatever you do, do NOT take vacations with them. The crash & burn sucks.
02/25/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Everything went fine and we still talk
02/25/2011
Illusional Illusional
I tried it, he was a good guy, I didn't fall head over heels for him. He attended my graduation, we were cool. When I told him, I was gonna move to Florida, he distanced himself from me and finally called me up drunk saying he didn't have the guts to stop me, but he loved me.

I told him to go to bed, and supposedly it hurt his feelings.

A year later, he had married and knocked up some other chick, and he hardly talks to me.
I've met some guys on AFF before, we never had sex, messed around and flirt, but we're still super great friends. And I met them at 19, and we still frequently talk.
02/25/2011
Happy Camper Happy Camper
I'm currently in a relationship that kind of toes the line of a simple emotion free friends with benefits type of thing and a casual relationship type thing. We're definitely not romantically involved, and we didn't really have the intention of dating when we first did it. But I think most people view as a couple now, even though we don't strictly consider ourselves such. We're definitely not in love, but that doesn't mean that the relationship doesn't mean something at the same time. Or that emotions and endearment are absent from the picture. But we've been doing our thing for a year now. I suspect that when it comes time to break it off, there will be no problems. Although there might be that sort of withdrawl that comes from suddenly not having a person to cuddle and fuck around with.
02/25/2011
Nathan von Minden Nathan von Minden
Quote:
Originally posted by Waterfall
Most of my friend with benefits relationships have ended and we still stay friends, but nothing comes of it, or we go our separate ways.
I've had three partners with this situation, and of the three times, two of the girls became my girlfriend. I'd say that it depends on the type of sex you were having.

Intimate, in my opinion, would lead to a relationship, but carnal sex would end up just staying friends.


Although there are many exceptions, this is my general view on it.
02/26/2011
lkb lkb
Mostly they've ended alright and we've simply grown apart or stopped seeing each other for whatever reasons.
03/03/2011
BadgersRose BadgersRose
My friend and I ended up in other relationships but are still very close. I still love a good snuggle with him. My hubby is cool with that as we are secure in our relationship.
04/05/2011
GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
I was talking with a friend about FWB relationships. His views of them are that they often end in the couple dating. I disagree. Please vote below
with the 1st 1, i was left heartbroken. with the 2nd, it was w/ an x, & we were sort of testing the waters after a long absence to see how it would be. we ended up picking up where we left off & have been completely happy for over a yr, except of course for the occasional arguments that every couple has. i think it depends on the person & previous situations.
05/03/2011
ac0313 ac0313
We are still talking, but due to a trust issue from her, we have not seen each other for a while. I need to decide if I can forgive her and move forward or if the relationship we had is over...
05/05/2011
SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Waterfall
Most of my friend with benefits relationships have ended and we still stay friends, but nothing comes of it, or we go our separate ways.
Same here. Except for me falling in love with the friend years later (The present) The good thing is the mutuality of it.
05/05/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
I was talking with a friend about FWB relationships. His views of them are that they often end in the couple dating. I disagree. Please vote below
We were both preprofessionals with no time or energy for real relationships.....so we ended up BEST friends, AND FWB's years before it was popular. Then school ended...and rather then go our seperate way, we had a choice to make. 32 happily married years later....I think we made the right choice. Who better to be married to then your best friend?????
09/04/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Nathan von Minden
I've had three partners with this situation, and of the three times, two of the girls became my girlfriend. I'd say that it depends on the type of sex you were having.

Intimate, in my opinion, would lead to a relationship, but carnal ... More
How is "carnal sex" not "intimate"??? You lost me there?
09/04/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Yoda
Very badly. For about a year I had to do some major damage control, because my "friend" destroyed my reputation. Apparently, "benefits" are actually the acts of a committed relationship, whether you know it or not.
....and the person was obviously NOT a real friend!
09/04/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
It was long ago but it was an awful type of relationship to have. The thought of no strings attached is always wonderful, but when you do finally get attached without realizing it, that's when the hurt settles in. I'd never do anything like that again. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through as far as dating.
09/04/2011
Fuck it. Fuck it.
I have a friend that I sleep with when we're both single. We give dating advice and became better friends after sleeping together. Nothing bad happened.
09/18/2011
XYCopperheadSly XYCopperheadSly
I took that path once. It went amazingly well. We parted ways with no problems.
09/18/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I took that path twice with the same guy. The first time, I was young and dumb and thought that just because I was having sex with someone meant that we were going to be a couple and live happily ever after. I got butthurt when I realized this wasn't the case. Then two years later he and I started talking again and we started again. I was good with the whole, no relationship thing, and then one night he admitted that he was trying to not have feelings for me, but he couldn't help it. And that just made things messier. And we had a pseudo-relationship going on, but he ended up with a girl 3 years my junior (5 years his) and I just gave up and moved on. I was a little hurt, but oh well.
09/18/2011
Tuesday Tuesday
When one long-term FWB relationship ended it was difficult for me. The problem was that I wanted more than that all along. With a different FWB, it ended and I was fine with that.
09/18/2011
Antipova Antipova
I've had too many to be able to make use of the radio button poll. The vast majority ended well---I'm still good friends with nearly everyone, though there are three that I'm not in contact with anymore (facebook doesn't count as contact)---but on fine terms, just nothing much to say.

There was one where he left brokenhearted because he wanted more. There was one where I was perhaps in danger of that happening, but he moved away before it got to that point (and if he hadn't moved, maybe we would have tried a relationship).

I guess you could say my current partner started off as an FWB, but we upgraded to 'dating' after three days, so it would only be a technicality.

So---vast majority are now friends. It's really not hard at all if everyone's honest with each other and themselves.
09/18/2011
JessCee JessCee
I have had the same FWB for 6 years... we have a mutual understanding with each other, if one of us finds a serious (or potentially serious) relationship with another person then we back off and let the other one explore that relationship... no hard feelings. We really are great friends though because we are exactly alike, and it's that very same reason that we know we would never work out in a relationship with each other.
09/18/2011
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Total posts: 46
Unique posters: 44