How to approach a "crazy christian"?

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How to approach a "crazy christian"?

Mell Mell
I attend a Christian church with my friend EVERY Sunday. To me dating has always just been dating, but her church has a "singles" group (going to age 25) that meets occasionally and does courting exercises and doesn't believe a man and woman should EVER be alone together until they are married. I would like to ask one particularly nice man out, but as an outsider I'm worried he might panic (he's a member of singles). We're both "of age" and "adults" so I'm not sure what path to take. What do you think Eden?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Go to Singles meetings and hope to get closer.
PinkPedal , Eden C. , CamelliaGirl , Hibangel
4  (4%)
Ask him anyway!
SexyTabby , DeliciousSurprise , Tori Rebel , ToyTimeTim , TheSinDoll , Danielle1220 , Taylor Von , Splendwhore , Pleasure Piratess , potstickers , StrawberryEve , toxie m , Lio , eggiweg , Darling Jen , UnknownGirl , Bunnycups , namelesschaos , ZenaidaMacroura , BunnyBoy , LavenderSkies , Crash , girl next door , Rainbow Boy , Sweet-Justice , ichwillwaffels , Miss Jenn , ~LaUr3n~ , Taylor , Kindred , zeebot , *HisMrs* , newlady , sixfootsex , Andromeda , Alys , Sir , BBW Talks Toys , Misfit Momma , liilii080 , leatherlover , *Ashley* , Red Vinyl Kitty , BluePixi , Michelle Menace , Lolla Munz , PiratePrincess , Elliotstar , C4ss , BadassFatass , Ajax , Lily Night , KaraSutra , indiglo , Scarlette , Solar Ray , lucymalfoy , xoflxokcxo , darthkitt3n , Sohotdinosaur , REDRUM , *Huxley* , neon , tickle me pink , 7Miles , Daniel & Brittany , MaryExy , Lithaewyn , moonch1ld , link82 , MonkeyBoo , KennyMister , froggiemoma , padmeamidala , Valentinka , sexyk515 , cburger , Lady Marmelade , Rossie , Gunsmoke , kinksters , El-Jaro , bayosgirl , Rin (aka Nire) , aliceinthehole , hiroshiro , jokerzwild , Iron Man , oneeyedoctopus , Eliyahu , socceras , GirlOnGirl , ksparkles16 , Mwar
94  (85%)
Give up on this (handsome and nice) lost cause.
Shellz31 , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , LittleBird , KnK , leela , Ms. Spice , Dreaus , GONE!
8  (7%)
I'll tell ya what ta do: (elaborate?)
P'Gell , SexyStuff , K101 , Ahatmadeofshoes12
4  (4%)
Total votes: 110
Poll is closed
03/11/2011
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SexyTabby SexyTabby
It's better to get an answer then to always wonder or to do things you wouldn't normally do just to be something you're not. The worst is he'll say no but you might be surprised. Course if he says, yes, you may wanna see where he stands on intimacy and such. Definitely be honest. Good luck
03/11/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Why NOT ask, what could it hurt? Just bear in mind that his beliefs will be his beliefs and that his ideas on dating and courtship will probably not change even if you do become involved.

And you probably shouldn't call him "crazy"!
03/11/2011
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I'd probably just ask him and see where he stands. If he reacts all 'crazy' then at least you know, right?

Good luck!
03/11/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I vote ask him! Bear in mind, he may say no, but what do you really have to lose?

I was raised in a very conservative Evangelical church that believed in courtship with chaperoning and all - including doing no more than hand holding and side hugging until you are pronounced man and wife. And while I know some people it honestly worked GREAT for, it just wasn't the route for me and I knew it. Some people in those groups know that the courtship path isn't right for them and might be up for a more conventional, contemporary relationship. Some won't. You don't know til you ask!
03/11/2011
Mell Mell
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
Why NOT ask, what could it hurt? Just bear in mind that his beliefs will be his beliefs and that his ideas on dating and courtship will probably not change even if you do become involved.

And you probably shouldn't call him "crazy"!
haha, well I've been called "crazy too many times to count and I consider it a compliment
03/11/2011
Mell Mell
Wow a lot of replies already...thanks for the support
03/11/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Ask him out, you just never know. Sure he might be true to his faith but he might be a big kinkster outside the church.

Back in my dating years I knew a few girls that were real wild but "sweet and proper" on Sundays.
03/11/2011
Danielle1220 Danielle1220
I would go for it and ask anyway.
03/11/2011
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Never know if you don't try.
03/11/2011
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Can't hurt to ask, just don't get down on yourself if he turns you down. I know people like that and they won't even consider dating a person unless their religious view match up with their's 100%.
03/12/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
Why NOT ask, what could it hurt? Just bear in mind that his beliefs will be his beliefs and that his ideas on dating and courtship will probably not change even if you do become involved.

And you probably shouldn't call him "crazy"!
I second this.
03/12/2011
Mell Mell
Aw thanks everybody! I was doubting myself and I shouldn't have been
03/12/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
Why NOT ask, what could it hurt? Just bear in mind that his beliefs will be his beliefs and that his ideas on dating and courtship will probably not change even if you do become involved.

And you probably shouldn't call him "crazy"!
I agree
03/12/2011
Crash Crash
Give it a shot. He may not be as superchristian as you think.
03/12/2011
Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
Screw what "might" happen. Go for it! You'll never know if you don't try
03/12/2011
ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
Quote:
Originally posted by Mell
I attend a Christian church with my friend EVERY Sunday. To me dating has always just been dating, but her church has a "singles" group (going to age 25) that meets occasionally and does courting exercises and doesn't believe a man and ...
Just cause he goes there doesn't mean he believes every little part of it and maybe if he is into you he will make an exception!
03/12/2011
Miss Jenn Miss Jenn
Quote:
Originally posted by Mell
I attend a Christian church with my friend EVERY Sunday. To me dating has always just been dating, but her church has a "singles" group (going to age 25) that meets occasionally and does courting exercises and doesn't believe a man and ...
Just ask. Whats the harm? I think its extreme to say that couples cannot be left alone together till they are married - how will you truly get to know someone? Thats a bit outrageous to me. I tend not to walk on a traditional pathway. I choose to live my life how I please.

I say, ask. What do you have to loose? The worst he can say is No!
03/12/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I have never heard of Christians having this type of thinking-should never be alone together. I thought that was a Mormon thing? Anyways...take the chance. If he says no then maybe join the group and go that route if you like him enough.
03/12/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I have never heard of Christians having this type of thinking-should never be alone together. I thought that was a Mormon thing? Anyways...take the chance. If he says no then maybe join the group and go that route if you like him enough.
There are some Christian sects that believe in the courtship rituals described in the original post, some Baptist sects and some Evangelical sects, for example. If you've ever seen a TV special or episode about the Duggar family (17/18/19 and Counting) they're an example of people who put this particular style of courtship into practice.
03/12/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Personally, I'd look else where .... especially if he believes the same about men and females not being alone together until married.
I wouldn't deal with that but that's just me.
03/12/2011
zeebot zeebot
Ask anyway, the worst he can do is say no?
03/12/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I have never heard of Christians having this type of thinking-should never be alone together. I thought that was a Mormon thing? Anyways...take the chance. If he says no then maybe join the group and go that route if you like him enough.
Yup! I was exposed to it in an Evangelical church when I was growing up and know several couples my age that followed that route. I honestly thought they were KIDDING me at first because I'd come from a much more liberal church beforehand.
03/12/2011
Sir Sir
Ask him, might as well try! And if he says no, ask if maybe you could attend the singles meetings with him and learn more about him.
03/12/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
There are some Christian sects that believe in the courtship rituals described in the original post, some Baptist sects and some Evangelical sects, for example. If you've ever seen a TV special or episode about the Duggar family (17/18/19 and ...
I think they're at 45 and counting now... I mean, it was 19 when I last watched, but that was almost a year ago!

(that may or may not have been heavy with sarcasm...)
03/12/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Ask him. Many people in the church live a double life anyway. They have a "church face" and a "real face." He may not be a kinkster, but he may not believe in JUST holding hands and side hugs... He might even enjoy a candlelit dinner. WITHOUT three other couples with you.
03/12/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I have to be honest. If the church is crazy and negative about sex, there's a reason he chose to go there.

Why subject yourself to humiliation and...."courting" when there are plenty of healthy, sexually active, sex positive men out there?

I really don't understand trying to change someone. If he goes to this church, he most likely adheres to their anti-sex propaganda. WHY fight that? You aren't going to change him, and you will waste time and probably get called names or humiliated in the process.

When I was dating, I tried to only date people with similar approaches to tolerance as I have. Being anti-sex is intolerant. You aren't going to "fix" that.

Life is too short to waste time with intolerant people, especially if you enjoy dating and sex.

Mileage and that.
03/12/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I have to be honest. If the church is crazy and negative about sex, there's a reason he chose to go there.

Why subject yourself to humiliation and...."courting" when there are plenty of healthy, sexually active, sex positive men ...
Sometimes they hold different beliefs but are afraid to walk away from a church family that they've known their whole life. Just because they're scared doesn't mean you should write them off as a person to have a relationship with. Until you get to know a person, you never know where they stand.
03/12/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Ask him out, you just never know. Sure he might be true to his faith but he might be a big kinkster outside the church.

Back in my dating years I knew a few girls that were real wild but "sweet and proper" on Sundays.
Ha ha ha, exactly what I was thinking.

I would ask him out, keeping an open mind. Hope things work out!
03/12/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I have never heard of Christians having this type of thinking-should never be alone together. I thought that was a Mormon thing? Anyways...take the chance. If he says no then maybe join the group and go that route if you like him enough.
Oh, no. MOST Evangelical and Pentecostal sects believe in this. It is VERY common.

"Courting" is gaining popularity with the Christian Right, and it no place for sex positive people to be, IMO. I KNOW people like this. All I know is, I wouldn't date a Pentecostal for all the sex toys in Eden's catalog.

Either they DO believe every bullshit thing that was shoved down their throats, and they are gonna be impossible to date normally or they don't in believe it, which makes them hypocritical for even being in a sect like that in the first place.

WHY go to a church, if you don't believe what they have to say? It's very disingenuous.
03/12/2011
Total posts: 81
Unique posters: 46