Racial Preferences

Eden C. Eden C.
I have always felt that a person who makes a conscious decision to only date certain races (or not date certain races) was racist. I am uncomfortable when people say that they are only attracted to certain ethnic groups although they are open to dating any race.

I am white and am engaged to a Chinese girl, and I have dated another Asian person in the past. She keeps saying that I must have a preference for Asians, but I don't like hearing that because I think that sounds racist.

What do you think?
03/21/2011
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Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
I have always felt that a person who makes a conscious decision to only date certain races (or not date certain races) was racist. I am uncomfortable when people say that they are only attracted to certain ethnic groups although they are open to ... More
I don't think its racist to say you prefer a certain group.
I mean to be honest some people are brought up a certain way to only like certain races. OR you live in certain area so you tend to like what you see on a daily basis.
I mean I know plenty of white people who prefer other white people. I hear people call them racist all the time. Yet I also know black people who are attracted to black people yet they are never called racist for some reason.

I prefer white men. Now don't get me wrong I am not racist. I just prefer white men. I mean when I was younger I prefered mexicans and black men. But I have had problems in the past and its been years since I was attracted to them. Now I am attracted to white men. I have been called racist many times for saying so. Yet I called a black man racist once for saying he hates white people and only likes black women. I got bitches out and was called a "racist little white bitch."

Does that make sense? No. You can say you are just attracted to one race. It has nothing to do with racism. I mean I have friends who are black,mexican, chinese everything. Am I racist for only going for white men? No. So I think its a bit ehh for you to say what you say.

Just my opinion. Sorry for rambling..I am not sleeping more then about 2 hours a night again. So if I come off as ehh Sorrry!
03/21/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I would say not racist. Now sometimes there are exceptions, and if you actively resist dating someone because of their race, that's racist. Or if your race preference is based in anything other than appearance. But the fact remains that race affects appearance, and it is not wrong to have appearance preferences when dating. As I often say, if i wanted to date someone I wasn't attracted to, I would date girls.
03/21/2011
*Huxley* *Huxley*
It's not racist, it's a matter of physical attraction.
I like white dudes (I married one) but prefer the 'jewish' look. I don't think that means much other then I have a thing for big noses. lol. I've dated other race's in the past and it was fine but the physical attraction wasn't there as much. It had nothing to do with the color of their skin. It really boils down to preference. Big boobs, chubby girls, big dicks, brown eyes, white, purple or black- what ever floats your boat.
03/21/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
Quote:
Originally posted by *Huxley*
It's not racist, it's a matter of physical attraction.
I like white dudes (I married one) but prefer the 'jewish' look. I don't think that means much other then I have a thing for big noses. lol. I've dated other ... More
I would totally date a purple guy! Well, maybe lavender...
03/21/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by Stephanie Marie
I don't think its racist to say you prefer a certain group.
I mean to be honest some people are brought up a certain way to only like certain races. OR you live in certain area so you tend to like what you see on a daily basis.
I mean I ... More
Well, I feel like I am slightly more fair because I think that anyone (regardless of race) who limits his or herself to one race (whether it is his/her own race or different) is racist. As a white person in America, one has to tread carefully. It's just hard because my head is definitely not racist, but my vagina seems to be.
03/21/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
Well, I feel like I am slightly more fair because I think that anyone (regardless of race) who limits his or herself to one race (whether it is his/her own race or different) is racist. As a white person in America, one has to tread carefully. ... More
Sometimes you just have to trust your vagina (or penis in my case). My head is pretty bi, but my penis is definitely gay, so that's what I'm going with. Same deal with race. Physical attraction is important, and sometimes that physical attraction is dependent on race.
03/21/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
Well, I feel like I am slightly more fair because I think that anyone (regardless of race) who limits his or herself to one race (whether it is his/her own race or different) is racist. As a white person in America, one has to tread carefully. ... More
It is NOT racist. From what you are saying is that I am racist. I do NOT appreciate being called racist! You are judging people calling htem racist? Really? Maybe you are just racist against white people? Is that why you go for Chinese women?
03/21/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by Stephanie Marie
It is NOT racist. From what you are saying is that I am racist. I do NOT appreciate being called racist! You are judging people calling htem racist? Really? Maybe you are just racist against white people? Is that why you go for Chinese women?
What? No, I was responding to your comment about white people who prefer other white people being called racist, while black people in the United States are less likely to be called racist for wanting to date their own race. I'm sorry I wasn't being clear.
03/21/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
What? No, I was responding to your comment about white people who prefer other white people being called racist, while black people in the United States are less likely to be called racist for wanting to date their own race. I'm sorry I ... More
Ok I am sorry I didn't understand what you said. But in your original post, you did make it out to be someone who limits themselves to their own race is racist. Yet that is not the case. So I don't get why you would make that generalization. Yeah some might be because they are racist, but not all are.
03/21/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by Stephanie Marie
Ok I am sorry I didn't understand what you said. But in your original post, you did make it out to be someone who limits themselves to their own race is racist. Yet that is not the case. So I don't get why you would make that generalization. ... More
I guess I should clarify and say that I think a person can be racist in how they treat others, but ultimately one does not have control over attraction. Although one's heart may have race-related tendencies, it is not malicious as actual, intentional racism.

I don't think I said that people who limit themselves to their own race are the only ones who are racist, although my writing isn't always very clear...I feel quite the opposite way. I've studied Japanese for most of my life and I've met a lot of black and white Americans who refuse to date non-Asian girls (or simply regard Asian women as superior), which always bothered me. It bothered me because they felt they could get away with it since they were limiting themselves to ANOTHER race rather than their own race, but I didn't really see how it was very different.

Besides, race is not about quality. Yes, I think Chinese women are hot. Even if I found myself exclusively attracted to them, I would never say that Chinese women are superior to any other group. It's all about a person's preference.
03/21/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
I guess I should clarify and say that I think a person can be racist in how they treat others, but ultimately one does not have control over attraction. Although one's heart may have race-related tendencies, it is not malicious as actual, ... More
Ok I mean I get that. I know plenty of white females who will date nothing but Black men. ALOT of these females have told me its because black men are the best and sexiest, plus a bunch of other stuff. They won't even consider any other race. So how could they know? I mean I have considered black men,asian men, mexican/puerto rican men. I leave my options open, yet I still always go towards white men. Thes females I know won't even consider anything else because they feel as though black men are superior.
03/21/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I've just had another thought. While racial preferences may not indicate intentional, malicious racism, they could be a result of racism in society. General societal influences, have your subconscious mind convinced that (for example) mexicans are untrustworthy, so when you look at a mexican your subconscious mind recoils, and your conscious mind reads it as a physical lack of attraction. The question then becomes, are we supposed to resist impulses that come from possible subconscious racism?
03/21/2011
Ansley Ansley
*grabs popcorn* This should end well.
03/21/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
It is not racist to have a preference on whom you date. There are no rules to dating. To say to me that I am a racist for only dating, and eventually marrying a white woman, because I am white, is in itself, a type of a racist statement. I will always perfer women to men. That doesn't mean that I hold ill will to anyone. That is my preference. You have taken a very touchy subject and put it to the extreme. Everyone on this planet has a free will to choose who they want to partner with. Forcing someone to go against that is unethical and in itself, amounts to racism. When you put the reason for your actions in that light, you stepped into the world of racism. Color, ethnicity should not have any influence, other than a preference.
03/21/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
*grabs popcorn* This should end well.
Lol
03/21/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
I dont consider myself racist as I have very good friends of all races. However in relationships I gravitate towards one type of man. White, over 6'2 and at least 190 lbs. just seems to be who I end up with...everytime. I wouldn't count someone out though because they didn't fit that criteria.
03/21/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
*grabs popcorn* This should end well.
Yeah, this thread definitely opened up a big an o'worms and I kind of wish I could delete it.
03/21/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
It is not racist to have a preference on whom you date. There are no rules to dating. To say to me that I am a racist for only dating, and eventually marrying a white woman, because I am white, is in itself, a type of a racist statement. I will ... More
Good point! While I am wary as to where my own preferences become racism, I have to remind myself that most people are "sexist" when it comes to dating.
03/21/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
Yeah, this thread definitely opened up a big an o'worms and I kind of wish I could delete it.
Topics on race usually do. There's no good way to have a discussion about race on a public internet forum. The reason is because it's very difficult to determine tone and what you may try to convey in one thought could have been preceeded by eight that we weren't privy to so it makes it really easy to jump on you.

Who we date is a preference known only unto ourselves. And it should be left at that. Our genetics lend a helping hand in who we choose as our life partner. For a lot of people it's a "just because" not a "they're inferior/superior".
03/21/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
*grabs popcorn* This should end well.
I was thinking the same thing!
03/21/2011
*Huxley* *Huxley*
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
I would totally date a purple guy! Well, maybe lavender...
Ha! Me too!
03/22/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I don't think it's racist at all!
I'm not into asain guys what so ever - if that's racist to some then so be it cause I'm not going to get involved with people I have no sexual desire for!

I haven't met a dark guy in person (then again, there's not too many out here where I live) that I have been attracted to either. Altho, I'd soooooo do Will Smith and Martin Lawrence!

The heart knows what it does and doesn't like.
Now if someone ran another race down - that's racisim!
03/22/2011
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I don't think it's racism, it's just a matter of what you're attracted to or not.
03/22/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I agree with everyone else, you like what you like. This is not racist.
03/23/2011
Mills Mills
04/02/2011
Curves Curves
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
I don't think it's racism, it's just a matter of what you're attracted to or not.
i agree.
04/10/2011
barrettbn2 barrettbn2
I date who I am attracted to. If they are a different race then so be it.
04/10/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
just what attracted too
04/10/2011
MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
I have always felt that a person who makes a conscious decision to only date certain races (or not date certain races) was racist. I am uncomfortable when people say that they are only attracted to certain ethnic groups although they are open to ... More
It's not racest to be attracted to a certain group. Im white and i perfer white guys. They ushally have the type of personalties i like and some facial features i like. I think other ppl of races can be attractive too though. Its only racest if yo wont date them because of their color or race.
04/10/2011
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