How do you know your husband is still head over heels in love with you?

LovesToPlay LovesToPlay
We are going thru a rough patch and i feel like im hanging by a thread! I fear that he doesnt love me the way he used to like im just routine now? We have been together for 4 yrs and married 2 yrs i know thats not a long time but while in this time span we have had some major things happen to us! our daughter was born extremely premature so that put a huge strain on our relationship he had to work and i stayed with her we were living 100 miles apart.. i grew up during that time no doubt about it, i had no choice i was 19 with a 2 pound baby with no one to lean on when i had doubts or fears i felt as if he had left me and didnt care as much as he should have! but that was 2 1/2 yrs ago i still hold a grudge from that very lonely time where i had to go through that alone!! i love him with everything i am he has everything of mine. he was my first everything and i want him to be my last but he has no clue on how to make me happy! he doesnt listen to me i have to repeat everything i say to him atleast 2 times and he doesnt have hearing problems but i do i only have 40% of my hearing left at the age of 21 so on down the road i might have to learn how to communicate through another way and im not sure if he will still be here with me! i feel like we are miles apart when im sitting inches from him! he tells me he loves me but doesnt show it!! i dont know what to do anymore i have tried talking and i have wrote him notes nothing works there is not romance in our relationship yes we have sex but i think mostly just bc i want to feel wanted! i need advice on what to do and fast bc im steadily going down hill with tears and sweat!!! im the only one putting effort into us and im so tired??
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UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I know because he tells me.
Eliyahu Eliyahu
Here's my advice, as a married guy who's gone through a little rough patch due to my own health problems and the insane amount of stress they put upon my wife. Your husband knows you resent him - I can pretty much guarantee that. He probably resents the fact that you resent him. You probably don't think so, but I can also guarantee there are subtle cues you give off that telegraph your feelings (this is how he knows, even if he says nothing...saying nothing is easier than dealing with the situation). So, you need to resolve that...for your sake, his sake, your daughter's sake, your future as family. Otherwise...there will always be a palpable tension in your house that will build and build, and sooner or later it'll explode.
- Kira - - Kira -
If a friend came to me and told me this situation here's what I would say: You say you resent him for leaving you alone with your child. You say you want to feel wanted. You say he doesn't listen, won't communicate, and likely won't help you down the road if you need it. Perhaps the question you should be asking is are you sure you still really love him? Or if you're just in the habit of thinking that you do? Possibly that you just want to be with someone or that you don't want to be alone?

I don't know you though so I don't know if any of that is accurate. I do know from being in a relationship that has had rough patches that you won't get anywhere so long as there is resentment and a lack of communication.
richsam richsam
Originally posted by LovesToPlay
We are going thru a rough patch and i feel like im hanging by a thread! I fear that he doesnt love me the way he used to like im just routine now? We have been together for 4 yrs and married 2 yrs i know thats not a long time but while in this time ...
I know because he tells me.
Destri Destri
I have to agree with Eliyahu and Kira. I hear in your words that you have so many issues with him, and if you think he doesn't know, you are wrong. Would he go to marriage counseling with you? Even if he won't, you should. Counselors can really help work through unresolved issues and help you to figure out where you are at and what you need.

My hubby and I have been together for almost 9 years and believe me, we have had some serious rough times come up over the years! But we worked through them together. We are more in love today than ever.

Good luck, hon.
nova2014 nova2014
I know my guy still loves me because he tells me and he does things for me that he doesn't for others and his family tells me he acts differently with me
lainebug lainebug
he tells me and all married couples go thru this. My advice is take him out on a romantic date and talk about how u r feeling then when u get home take your time light some candles and make slow sensual love to each other. Pretend like it's your first time. I have been married for 13 years. our anniversary was just this past december and we took our time on our anniversary night. we reconnected it was wonderful.
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8