I've done a 180...

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I've done a 180...

bayosgirl bayosgirl
I think it's crazy how in the last year, due to a series of experiences, my feelings have totally changed. I always thought my life would one day revolve around being a wife and mother. Yet as I've gotten older (and this is all in perspective-I'm still 'just' 25-) I realize that I love having my own life way too much to settle down with kids. I mean, I used to really envy the couples I knew who have children, especially after my miscarriage. I totally romanticized the notion of having babies and being a lovey dovey wife. Frankly, I think I was trying to fulfill some emptiness inside myself. NOT that there is anything wrong with that, but for MYSELF, as I become more honest about my feelings, I find way more fulfillment in being financially independent and enjoying my major hobby, horse riding, than I think I would in staying at home with kids. In fact, I know I'd be miserable. Strange that I'd change that much, huh? Now, that's not to say I'll feel different at 35 than at 25, but for now, I'm content to be childless. Or should I say, the 'emptiness' that I feel is due to not having reached the goals that I want for my life, which at present do not include children.

So, can anyone else relate? Did you start out wanting kids but changed your mind? Or vice versa?
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- Kira - - Kira -
I never ever wanted kids. Seeing my now husband with a baby totally changed my mind. In an instant, I knew I wanted a child with him. I love our son more than anything in this world and I'm so very happy I changed my mind on having kids. I still pretty much hate other people's kids, so I'm not all aboard the "kids are the best!" train. That's the whole reason I never wanted any to begin with. Not really fond of children. Still not fond of most of them, but I love mine to bits. I can't imagine my life not having him.
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
To me the marriage had to come before the children. After a marriage at 23 followed by a divorce at 25, by my early 30s I was beginning to think a good marriage wasn't going to happen for me - ergo no kids.

Then I met the right person - married at 35 and have two wonderful grown kids.

Time does indeed change perspective. Go with your needs - but always stay open for when change is on your horizon.
js250 js250
I think everyone goes through these type of life changes and whichever issue your dealing with seems to be life changing. Your views and feelings evolve and change as you grow.
panthercat23 panthercat23
I always hated children but since in my current relationship that has changed. I think in my case it is because of having the stable relationship and knowing that someone else will be there for me and help with the kids.
Total posts: 5
Unique posters: 5