Is it cheating

LostinLife LostinLife
LostinLife
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Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
08/11/2012
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Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
That would depend on what you are talking about and what all grounds you set for your relationship. If you are friendly talking, no big deal. If you are talking as in hooking up and it wasn't established to be an open relationship, yes, it's likely cheating.
08/11/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
I would consider this cheating, but I'm very open and upfront about the fact that I consider things like that cheating with partners. Either way, it's lying even if it isn't cheating. And lying in a relationship is never a good idea.
08/11/2012
mmc67 mmc67
I can't imagine talking to my ex so perhaps I am not the one to answer this
08/11/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
If my ex had the cojones to talk to me, I wouldn't see anything wrong with it, but I'd also give my partner a heads up.
08/11/2012
Lioncub Lioncub
If you have nothing to hide, then be honest that you are talking to the ex.
08/11/2012
Kissy Kissy
I would feel very guilty if I was doing it, and I would be mad at my hubby for it...
08/11/2012
mikeysPlace mikeysPlace
Depends on what you're talking about. It's at least lying. Yeah, you probably should feel bad. Can't think of a lot of situations where that would be ok.
08/11/2012
Trysexual Trysexual
Depends on what you're talking about. I talk to my ex, because we still have some financial ties and dogs, but I don't want her back and visa versa.
08/11/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
thanks for all the input
08/11/2012
XxFallenAngelxX XxFallenAngelxX
Hard to answer this one...
08/12/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
If the kind of things you're talking about are things that your current partner would be upset/uncomfortable hearing about, then you probably shouldn't be doing it. I talk to my ex on friendly, nonsexual terms, but I let people I'm with now know that I do that.
08/12/2012
carebear712 carebear712
If its my man doing the talking, it is cheating...if it is me, it is innocent LOL. but in all seriousness, it depends on what you are talking about...I wouldn't really consider it "cheating" but its still not really ok to sneak around and hide stuff since it would harm your relationship if he found out. I talk to people I probably shouldn't, but I know my man has done it in the past, and probably to some extent still does...we all need some of our own little things in life to keep us from going crazy I guess!
08/15/2012
Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
would depend on the context of the txt's
08/15/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
It depends on how it makes you feel and whether it would break trust with your current partner. For example if my husband or life partner were talking or texting with an -ex it would not be cheating unless they kept it a secret and actively acted deceptively. I know they love me and aren't leaving so the rest is just not a problem. This is not the case with other relationships, however. If there has been inappropriate behavior in the current relationship you might want to stop and be very open about whats going on.

Honestly, if you feel bad it's probably not a good idea to keep it a secret or be doing it in the first place. If nothing is happening other than friendly conversation why does it need to be kept secret?
08/15/2012
Sundae Sparkles Sundae Sparkles
I have done this and this has happened to me
and I know its not a good feeling for either person

would you show him your text?
09/05/2012
sugar&spikes sugar&spikes
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
That would depend on what you are talking about and what all grounds you set for your relationship. If you are friendly talking, no big deal. If you are talking as in hooking up and it wasn't established to be an open relationship, yes, it's ... More
i agree
09/05/2012
SavingMyself SavingMyself
I wouldn't call it cheating, but it is lying.
09/09/2012
Squirtz Starz Squirtz Starz
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
I think your husband should be aware. I know my boyfriend would be upset not because he is jealous but there is a reason that person is my ex, and if they were not good enough for you then, why keep in contact?
09/10/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by SavingMyself
I wouldn't call it cheating, but it is lying.
I see your point there
09/11/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by Squirtz Starz
I think your husband should be aware. I know my boyfriend would be upset not because he is jealous but there is a reason that person is my ex, and if they were not good enough for you then, why keep in contact?
Mine would to he would blow his lid
09/11/2012
NymphetamineKiss NymphetamineKiss
As someone who is sexually non-mono with my partner of 4+yrs, I define cheating as something you wouldn't do* in front of your partner.

In this case it isn't cheating - to my mind - of there's no sexual component but it is lying or at least lying by ommission, which isn't cool either.

*sexually/romantically . Obv not 'the toilet' or similar.
09/11/2012
FairyPrincess FairyPrincess
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
I would say since the person is knowingly not telling their husband, this constitutes as a lie to me. When my partner doesn't tell me something that he knows and I know he SHOULD have told me, it is a lie which is certainly as bad as cheating even if it isn't technically cheating.
09/12/2012
GONE! GONE!
It really depends. I wouldn't care if my partner was talking to an ex if it was just in a friendly way and they never, like, told me that they would never talk to exes again.
09/12/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
I'm friends with most of my exes so I'll talk to them weather or not my partners want me to. If I feel like I can't tell them I'm talking to my ex because they would be angry and tell me not to its a sign that I should not be with that person. I think telling your partner who to talk to or not talk to is really controlling and icky. So, yeah, I would tell your partner but I wouldn't stop talking to someone if you want to talk to them.
09/12/2012
Kenneth Fort Kenneth Fort
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
No, but it's not a good sign either way.
09/16/2012
RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
It depends on what you and your partner define cheating as. I think that is cutting it a bit close
09/16/2012
edenguy edenguy
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
Depends. How would you feel if your partnet was doing this?
09/16/2012
charleswifey charleswifey
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
Is it cheating if you are texting and talking to your ex with out you husband or partner knowing about it? should you feel bad even if it does not lead anywhere?
Well I would say most people would get offended especially if you don't tell them about it. If there's nothing to hide then it shouldn't be hidden. But I wouldn't call it cheating I do think that if you were to continue to hide it and your partner finds out I believe a trust issue would evolve from it.
09/17/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Thanks everyone for the great advice
09/17/2012
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Total posts: 36
Unique posters: 32