Power struggle within the relationship: how do you keep it balanced for both parties?

RememberMe RememberMe
Power struggle within the relationship: how do you keep it balanced for both parties?
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butts butts
That's... pretty difficult really, we have a hard time with it. Honestly this is one of our biggest struggles, I'm naturally way more dominant and he's pretty passive, but he doesn't WANT to be passive, he still feels entitled to a say in situations even if he won't involve himself in it (plus he gets really indecisive), I get frustrated and end up completely taking over situations. Then I feel guilty for not allowing him to have his say in the situation and he ends up controlling MY decisions in a really round-about way, everything just gets fucked up and we're both unhappy. We haven't found a way to fix this yet, so it just keeps happening :/ GOOD thorough communication is the key, but sometimes it's really hard to get him to tell me what he wants/needs!
nova2014 nova2014
we generally switch off on things where we can like who visits what week or who pays for what activity but if it's other things like in a fight i guess it's whoever makes the best argument
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
We divide the power. My goal is always to make him feel like he's in control, except I usually am The one thing I am pretty adamant about having the power over is our money. We both know I am better at financing for our long term goals then he is even though he makes most of the money. Our current set up works out perfectly.
novanilla novanilla
If one of us feels like the other is being controlling, we talk about it.
hmb12 hmb12
We don't see our relationship as a "power" thing. I feel like that's the root of a lot of problems, is thinking you need power. If you are happy let it be.

However, my boyfriend has some spurts of cockiness in the relationship. For example, he has recently decided that "the council" aka his penis and testicles will cut me off for the day if I get an attitude with him. WHATEVER! He's kidding of course, but it gets me irritated in a way that kinda entertains him.

When he starts to act cocky and compliment himself a lot, I know it's my hint to give him a little extra love because sometimes he just needs to be reminded that I couldn't find anyone better for me. I don't mind telling him because I truly believe it. In other relationships I might have completely avoided this type of thing because I will not tell a guy what he wants to hear for no reason. He has to earn my love too.
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6