Unmarried and Living Together

dbm6907 dbm6907
Older generations, from what I have noticed, believe that a couple should only live in the same household if they are married. What are your views on the subject?
02/14/2012
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UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Well, first off, I don't think it's fair to single out "older generations." There are plenty of youngsters that hold the same belief for one reason or another. Personally I don't care either way. It all depends on the relationship in question. Hubby and I lived together for about 7 years before we got married. It was what was right for us and we didn't particularly care if others thought differently.
02/14/2012
js250 js250
My husband and I lived together for 10 years prior to getting married. I feel that if you choose to live together first, that is your option--better than a divorce after 72 days!! Sorry, just sick of hearing about the Kardahian fiasco.
02/14/2012
blacklodge blacklodge
I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years. Neither of us want to get married. To anybody.
02/14/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I think it should be required before getting married, if possible. Sometimes you can really like someone and then BOOMS! They're the biggest slob that farts all night and snores your head off. They hate doing dishes and never clean out their cat's box.
02/14/2012
MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
living together is tough.
02/14/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
getting married doesn't solve the problems with living together it just makes a necessary exit harder. if two people can't stay together by themselves USE MARRIAGE TO FORCE IT! everyone will be paired!
02/14/2012
shcoo shcoo
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I think it should be required before getting married, if possible. Sometimes you can really like someone and then BOOMS! They're the biggest slob that farts all night and snores your head off. They hate doing dishes and never clean out their ... More
I agree with this, haha.
02/14/2012
HouseWench HouseWench
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I think it should be required before getting married, if possible. Sometimes you can really like someone and then BOOMS! They're the biggest slob that farts all night and snores your head off. They hate doing dishes and never clean out their ... More
I'm inclined to agree. If you two can live together full time without wanting to kill eachother, then you're already ahead of a lot of married couples.
02/14/2012
Nazaress Nazaress
I think you should never marry someone UNTIL you've lived with them. I've found out SO much about my boyfriend (and myself, when I'm with someone) than I ever would have if we didn't start living together. I'd hate to marry someone, only to find out I despise them.
02/14/2012
SaraU29 SaraU29
It really comes down to how you were raised.
02/14/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by SaraU29
It really comes down to how you were raised.
i was raised that it's a crime punishable by excommunication from the family and the church.


i've lived with boyfriends before, and would never EVER marry someone without living with them for many years before hand.
02/14/2012
melissa1973 melissa1973
I feel that living with someone first gives you an idea of how the other person would be, learn his/her ticks what gets under their skin so you know not to do it. Once you both are comfortable enough then get married or if the live in relation is going well enough you don't have to get married.
02/14/2012
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
There have been several studies that support that couples that live together before marriage actually have a higher divorce rate than couples that start living together after they're married. One big reason is that those who live together beforehand subconsciously feel that it's easier to leave the relationship, and there's not as much as stake. That mentality tends to carry into marriage.

I'm not saying that every couple that lives together before marriage is doomed to divorce, but it's something worth thinking about.

As for myself, I don't really care to get married, so I probably will live with my partner.
02/14/2012
Eliyahu Eliyahu
We only lived together in our own place for a week before we married...before that, she'd stay overnight with me at the place I shared with other roommates, but it was very different than living together on our own.
02/14/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
I really feel like it should be a requirement and really support anybody who chooses to go that route. There are a lot of things that you learn about somebody from living with them that will give you the necessary information you need to know if you can survive living with them forever. Sometimes, they're really awesome people to hang out with, but living with them is like living in your own personal hell.

All of that being said, I do have friends that chose not to live together until they were married, and I fully support that route for those who want to go that way. It may not be what I would have chosen, but it's not my place to decide how other people should be living their lives.
02/15/2012
Mwar Mwar
I can see why someone would choose to live with their partner or not to.

I recently took the leap with my boyfriend and I was the one who had anxieties. Not that we would break up or anything, but still... what if? How would we split rent or deal with awkwardness. I was comfortable and confident in my relationship, but on the other hand I didn't want to be naive.

I let him know my anxieties weren't personal, and we talked about it. And I'm quite happy with the arrangement.

It really depends on the couple, everyone is different.
02/15/2012
❦Angel Of Music❦ ❦Angel Of Music❦
I have lived with two boyfriends before the one I am with now, one of which I was engaged to. I think I would have been making a huge mistake if I had actually married either of them before I lived with them. Obviously they weren't who I was meant to be with, but it just showed me what kind of person they really are when I'm usually not around. My now boyfriend and I live together and get along great and I can honestly say I would rather live with a partner first before marriage.
02/15/2012
dbm6907 dbm6907
You see, my fathers side of the family doesn't have much of an issue with it, but my mothers thinks that it is totally wrong. I've heard time and time again "What is the point of marriage if you're already living together?" and "I can't believe these people want to have a huge wedding after they've already been shacking up for two years." Much like you guys I have the same belief, that it's actually a good thing to live with somebody beforehand. I have mentioned this to my mother a while back and she basically told me that she would disown me. I couldn't believe it!
02/20/2012
goofballmaster goofballmaster
Quote:
Originally posted by dbm6907
Older generations, from what I have noticed, believe that a couple should only live in the same household if they are married. What are your views on the subject?
I think it's okay because you get a different view of your significant other when you live together.
03/22/2012
slynch slynch
We lived together for 7 years before we got married.

We've been together 11 years.
03/22/2012
RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
We dated online for about 13 years and have been living together 2 years. We'll get married eventually.
03/26/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
As someone who "rushed" to get married (one of the reasons being that I felt guilty for having premarital sex) and regrets it, I would rather people live together than feel pushed to get married just for that reason. Funny how viewpoints change when people experience something for themselves.
03/26/2012
Lickable Lollie Lickable Lollie
I think living together before marriage is a great thing. You really don't know someone until you've lived with them. I've had a lot of friendships that didn't last because we lived as roommates, and dating is no different
03/26/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by dbm6907
Older generations, from what I have noticed, believe that a couple should only live in the same household if they are married. What are your views on the subject?
I don't think you need to be married to live together. I personally feel it's a good idea to live together before getting married so you know if you two can really get along in a home together. My fiance and I will move in together before we get married simply because we will need to save up for a wedding.
03/27/2012
cocomo cocomo
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband and I lived together for 10 years prior to getting married. I feel that if you choose to live together first, that is your option--better than a divorce after 72 days!! Sorry, just sick of hearing about the Kardahian fiasco.
cool he proposed huh? im goin on 12 years!
03/27/2012
cocomo cocomo
ive been livin with my guy for 12 years un married
03/27/2012
spicyjjang spicyjjang
Before I get married, I want to live with my partner. If they turn out to be a horrible roommate, chances are, the marriage isn't gonna last.
04/09/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd say you should spend a long period of time in the same place to make sure you can live together first, but I can understand why some people stick with the waiting until marriage, especially if they want to reinforce the no sex before marriage tradition (2 beds would be inconvenient). How much time depends on the couple, but it helps you learn to compromise.
04/21/2012
pixxie87 pixxie87
Times have changed. It's like saying a mother can't be a single mom because she needs a man. I don't believe in this. People can do whatever makes them happy.
04/23/2012
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Total posts: 44
Unique posters: 41