What is the most challenging thing you and your partner have been through together?

froggiemoma froggiemoma
What is the most major thing that has happened in your relationship that has taken any kind of toll on your relationship? something you did or they did? how did you overcome
05/01/2013
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js250 js250
Whoaa---which one? I think one of the most challenging and hardest situations was being physically abused by my husband. I called the cops on him after pointing a gun at him, then pointed it at the floor and shot. I told him that would be him the next time....We split for a bit and then worked really hard together to get past the abuse. He has not touched me for about 7 years now.
05/02/2013
Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by froggiemoma
What is the most major thing that has happened in your relationship that has taken any kind of toll on your relationship? something you did or they did? how did you overcome
Wow!! Where do I begin? I am in the process of writing a book. You all will be the first to know the title once I settle on one. It is one INSANE story...
05/02/2013
Chilipepper Chilipepper
The Child Issue - C wanted kids, I didn't. We split, believing that we couldn't ever work it out. I finally worked through some things, and I agreed under certain terms, which he has accepted (although he's still trying to get me to agree to more than one). We're engaged and going to marry next year, but I'm certain that we'll still have to negotiate this as things happen.
05/02/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
The thing that's damaged and changed our relationship the most was when his mom passed away. When she died, it was like a piece of him died along with her. He closed himself off to me, and acted like I was stupid for crying while he tried burying his emotions. We were SO CLOSE before she passed, but he became bitter and very angry and took a lot of it out on me; pushing me away when I needed him, and refusing to allow me close enough to support and care for his emotional needs. This was over two and a half years ago and we're still trying to get back on track. We've had about a million things happen since then, including several more deaths, mental illness, medical issues, and the stress of life in general; but his mom passing was what seem to set the rest of it in motion.
05/02/2013
solitudinarian solitudinarian
Probably when I was suffering depression. I'm still not sure how I overcame it, but I'm a lot happier and healthier these days. My boyfriend was really supportive which helped a lot.
05/03/2013
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by froggiemoma
What is the most major thing that has happened in your relationship that has taken any kind of toll on your relationship? something you did or they did? how did you overcome
Distance. He is in the UK, and I am in the US. That distance is extremely hard on both of us.

We overcome it by trying to keep in regular contact, and by having frequent visits.
05/03/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
The thing that's damaged and changed our relationship the most was when his mom passed away. When she died, it was like a piece of him died along with her. He closed himself off to me, and acted like I was stupid for crying while he tried ... More
Oh man. I'm so sorry, POP. I've read and heard of a lot of similar situations, in which trauma and/or loss causes a rift in a relationship. Have the two of you considered or tried any counseling? It sounds like he could really use some new tools for dealing with those awful amotions.
05/06/2013
XxFallenAngelxX XxFallenAngelxX
Mine was when his parent was very ill. I was there for him, through everything.
05/08/2013
Hummingbird Hummingbird
Learning to communicate after 26, almost 27 years of marriage. You would think by now we'd have it down cold but it just doesn't work that way, at least for us. Its easy to take one another for granted day in and day out. Its constantly a work in progress!
05/08/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by froggiemoma
What is the most major thing that has happened in your relationship that has taken any kind of toll on your relationship? something you did or they did? how did you overcome
Infidelity and the fall out of an abusive relationship with parents. We worked HARD to repair what we had done to our relationship...it's a continual work in progress.
05/08/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Whoaa---which one? I think one of the most challenging and hardest situations was being physically abused by my husband. I called the cops on him after pointing a gun at him, then pointed it at the floor and shot. I told him that would be him the ... More
Isn't it funny how we all have our major NO point? My husband did some things that some people I tell would NEVER forgive or trust him again for. For me I could always say that he never hit me. That was my complete this is over point.
He stole from me and I stayed, he cheated and I stayed, he had us in the poorest of the poor situation and I stayed...and on and on BUT he never hit me.

I would like to commend you guys for doing the hard work to repair your relationship and make it a better one. I know it couldn't have been easy...it never is. Good on you for getting out and good on him for being willing to change his ways. Both acts take an amazing amount of courage.
05/08/2013
twelve13 twelve13
Right now distance is taking a toll on us.
05/08/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Isn't it funny how we all have our major NO point? My husband did some things that some people I tell would NEVER forgive or trust him again for. For me I could always say that he never hit me. That was my complete this is over point.
He stole ... More
You know, I used to think the same thing--that "at least she's never hit me." But I finally realized that abuse is abuse, whether it's physical, emotional, or mental. In fact, the emotional/mental abuse can sometimes hurt a person far worse than physical abuse; most physical wounds heal much faster than emotional ones do.
05/10/2013
gsfanatic gsfanatic
The year of long distance, definitely. It was hard to keep going with only limited chances to interact
05/10/2013
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
The most challenging thing we have encountered is my past. I have quite the wild past and at first he wasn't really comfortable with it but over time he has come to see that my past does not define who I am now but instead served as a lesson.
05/11/2013
Munko Munko
Honestly I'd have to say having our daughter. While it has been the most amazing experience for both of us to be parents, it has been a stress on our relationship. We were together for 7 years, just the two of us, before she came along so it was hard to adapt to being 3 after so long of being only 2. I have had physical problems since delivery that have affected our sex life in a not so great way, we've had job changes that have added to the stress - and we will ALWAYS be parents so this is something we will always have to work on. We are lucky, she's been an amazing little girl from the moment she came out. She herself has never been a source of stress, but just the changes that come along with parenting.

We are still over coming these new obstacles. The nature of children is constant change, so we are constantly having to change and adapt with her and ourselves. Things are much better than even 6 months ago - 6 months ago I didn't want to be touched and I wasn't even sure I still wanted to be in a relationship. But we've worked on it and we are getting there. We just have to remember there is still US somewhere in there, as well as parents.
05/11/2013
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by froggiemoma
What is the most major thing that has happened in your relationship that has taken any kind of toll on your relationship? something you did or they did? how did you overcome
Cancer in the family. Did not overcome it. My boyfriend strayed because I could not spend enough time with him due to caring for the family member with cancer.
05/11/2013
Ace <3 Ace <3
Quote:
Originally posted by froggiemoma
What is the most major thing that has happened in your relationship that has taken any kind of toll on your relationship? something you did or they did? how did you overcome
Watching my girlfriend come out to her parents. I'm the first girl she's been with and they are very conservative in their views. It was a very very very bad reaction and 3 years later they are still trying to work through it.
05/11/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by FieryRed
You know, I used to think the same thing--that "at least she's never hit me." But I finally realized that abuse is abuse, whether it's physical, emotional, or mental. In fact, the emotional/mental abuse can sometimes hurt a person ... More
Too true! Funny how we rationalize whatever we are living with, huh?
05/13/2013
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 17