Does work affect your relationship?

bayosgirl bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but the worst is when he's crabby because all he wants to do is shower and crash in front of the TV. :-( I said all this to say, do you or your spouse's work affect your relationship? I'm trying to see how common this is. Thank you.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, work affects my relationship
54  (86%)
No, work doesn't affect my relationship at all
9  (14%)
Yes, and I've ended a relationship because of the stress of work
Total votes: 63
Poll is closed
01/18/2012
  • Buy 1 Toy Get 1 FREE
  • Better Price Sale - Save 70%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • Better Price - Save 40%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I travel quite a bit which cuts down on the number of opportunities that we have for intimacy - but we always have sex before I go and 98% of the time when I come home - by and large it probably works out well.
01/18/2012
SilverMinxxx SilverMinxxx
Stress from anything is definitely a libido killer. When he is too tired to do anything, we will have baths together and I'll give him massages.
01/18/2012
Elnoa Elnoa
Yes, definitely. I get really crappy when I'm working from home (trying to write) and we can go a long time without having sex because I am simply too tired (mostly my brain is tired) and just fall asleep.
01/18/2012
js250 js250
It has affected our down time after work. One of us is usually beat and the other wants to do something, not necessarily sex. We make up for it on the weekends and on easier weeks, but yeah, the stress can really get us on the wrong foot.
01/18/2012
indiglo indiglo
Sure, everything affects a relationship. Going to work, being out of work, traveling for work... all of it, definitely.
01/18/2012
Chilipepper Chilipepper
It even affects long distance relationships - Master works nine hours a day and has a hour commute each way (he drives). On top of that, he's five hours ahead of me, so by the time he gets home he's in no mood to focus on e-mail or anything else. Which is sort of okay as I'm a student and intern, so I'm busy during the week as well.

The only time we really have together is our Saturday phone call.

It'd be interesting to see how things are after I graduate and am working, and perhaps get a few more visits in. And if it should lead to a more permanent situation ... how that works out, too.
01/18/2012
Daemonin Daemonin
Work affects us both negatively and positively. We've lived together with no work at all and we pretty much wanted to kill each other half of the time. Of course, there were other circumstances as well that may have attributed to that feeling, but work helps us get our time away from each other to recharge. However, when there is a bad day at work or a need to stay later than planned, things get frustrating as well.
01/18/2012
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
My work effects my relationships in that I don't have one. My work requires a lot of energy and a lot of time so now that I'm single, it's really difficult to go out and meet someone new when I'm generally either working or sleeping!
01/18/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
My work effects my relationships in that I don't have one. My work requires a lot of energy and a lot of time so now that I'm single, it's really difficult to go out and meet someone new when I'm generally either working or sleeping!
I can totally understand this!

Good luck!
01/18/2012
Ansley Ansley
Absolutely! When he has a crappy day and comes home crabby, I get to listen to him rant for about four hours and then we finally get down to "us" time. It can be draining but I'll never complain. He works too hard for me to just shut it down.

When I was working, it was the same thing. I'd have a miserable day at work and then just want to hide under the covers and be a bitch.
01/18/2012
mistre$$ mistre$$
I would say that work/school has definitely had an effect on my relationships.
01/18/2012
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Work affect our relationship, but it's both positive and negative. We miss each other when we don't get to see each other due to work, but that also means we're all the more enthusiastic to see each other when we don't work. On the other hand, it also cuts down on the non-work time we spend together, because we both have hobbies and activities we don't do together, and we often need down time where we don't see anyone, even each other.

I don't really see it as a bad thing, though. We're both pretty well balanced and happy except when one or both of us are working chaotic hours and we both get frustrated at the inability to see each other as much as we'd like. Generally we both make sacrifices at those times in order to nurture our relationship.
01/18/2012
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I have my part time job plus I'm a student, which can be annoying. It doesn't usually affect me; however, when finals and midterms roll around, I barely have time to bathe, let alone spend time with another human being.
01/18/2012
kawigrl kawigrl
high stress does affect relationships
01/18/2012
PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Sure, everything affects a relationship. Going to work, being out of work, traveling for work... all of it, definitely.
With this said, every relationship HAS to find a way to keep the spark lit! Finding a 'neutral time' to communicate such encounters can lead to a better understanding when those situations do occur and that both parties will not feel slighted. As others have commented, there will always be another time to reengage that intimacy.
01/18/2012
Undead Undead
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but ... More
Nothing to the point of causing problems that we would leave over. But of course work takes us away from each other and sometimes you're too tired to be intimate.
01/18/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
We're fortunate that he works 1 eight hour job. I'm a full-time mommy so my job never ends, but nothing gets in the way.
01/18/2012
KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
Work doesn't hurt my relationship but does hurt our sex lives .
01/18/2012
Tangerine Tangerine
Yes. I am the type of person that likes to leave work and all that comes with it (besides an earlier bedtime) back at the office. My partner on the other hand comes home in a bad mood bc of it, answers calls that put her in a bad mood, I have to hear about at home when we go to dinner ect.. I find it okay once in a while or for moment because it seems to be important to her.It does however affect the relationship, bc if things are not going great and she wants to dicuss work or be in a bad mood bc of it, I then find myself wanting her to stop taking and just go away. (which makes me feel bad for thinking that) but I just want out at that point.
01/19/2012
dks210 dks210
It doesn't really hurt my relationship. Maybe you could just give him space the first hour that he's home. He needs that time to recharge. Don't talk to him, just let him alone. Then, maybe just do something nice for him, like bring him a snack or something. Give him a hug and kiss.

If this goes on, and he just keeps ignoring you, bring it up calmly when he's rested and in a better mood.
01/19/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but ... More
we have opposite schedules during the week - he works 7-4 most days and i work 4.30 - 3am. so i can crawl in bed with him for a couple hours during the week if i want... but mostly on the weekend is our only time together. it definitely makes things hard. sex is tough when you're tired.
01/19/2012
Highmaintenancegirl916 Highmaintenancegirl916
yes and then we took time apart. we accepted it after a while.
01/19/2012
RonLee RonLee
My GF has worked in corporate america and is quite understanding of the requirements that my work places upon me. I feel extraordinarily fortunate to have her as my partner.
If you read this Baby, Love You!
01/19/2012
married with children married with children
my wife lets work get to her. And she only works half the hours I do. I try to leave work at work. I dont get paid to deal with work on my time.
01/19/2012
Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but ... More
Unfortunately we are both guilty of bringing work home on occasion.
01/20/2012
Anjulie Anjulie
Quote:
Originally posted by mistre$$
I would say that work/school has definitely had an effect on my relationships.
Same here
01/25/2012
Eliza Eliza
My partner and I are both in school, and it definitely impacts our relationships. Stress and lack of sleep leave us both cranky.
01/30/2012
freda freda
at times
01/31/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but ... More
only sometimes...
02/03/2012
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 40
Unique posters: 40