My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but the worst is when he's crabby because all he wants to do is shower and crash in front of the TV. :-( I said all this to say, do you or your spouse's work affect your relationship? I'm trying to see how common this is. Thank you.
Does work affect your relationship?
It even affects long distance relationships - Master works nine hours a day and has a hour commute each way (he drives). On top of that, he's five hours ahead of me, so by the time he gets home he's in no mood to focus on e-mail or anything else. Which is sort of okay as I'm a student and intern, so I'm busy during the week as well.
The only time we really have together is our Saturday phone call.
It'd be interesting to see how things are after I graduate and am working, and perhaps get a few more visits in. And if it should lead to a more permanent situation ... how that works out, too.
The only time we really have together is our Saturday phone call.
It'd be interesting to see how things are after I graduate and am working, and perhaps get a few more visits in. And if it should lead to a more permanent situation ... how that works out, too.
Jan 18, 10:30 am
Work affects us both negatively and positively. We've lived together with no work at all and we pretty much wanted to kill each other half of the time. Of course, there were other circumstances as well that may have attributed to that feeling, but work helps us get our time away from each other to recharge. However, when there is a bad day at work or a need to stay later than planned, things get frustrating as well.
Jan 18, 11:39 am
Quote:
I can totally understand this!
Originally posted by
Tori Rebel
My work effects my relationships in that I don't have one. My work requires a lot of energy and a lot of time so now that I'm single, it's really difficult to go out and meet someone new when I'm generally either working or sleeping!
Good luck!
Jan 18, 11:54 am
Absolutely! When he has a crappy day and comes home crabby, I get to listen to him rant for about four hours and then we finally get down to "us" time. It can be draining but I'll never complain. He works too hard for me to just shut it down.
When I was working, it was the same thing. I'd have a miserable day at work and then just want to hide under the covers and be a bitch.
When I was working, it was the same thing. I'd have a miserable day at work and then just want to hide under the covers and be a bitch.
Jan 18, 12:07 pm
Work affect our relationship, but it's both positive and negative. We miss each other when we don't get to see each other due to work, but that also means we're all the more enthusiastic to see each other when we don't work. On the other hand, it also cuts down on the non-work time we spend together, because we both have hobbies and activities we don't do together, and we often need down time where we don't see anyone, even each other.
I don't really see it as a bad thing, though. We're both pretty well balanced and happy except when one or both of us are working chaotic hours and we both get frustrated at the inability to see each other as much as we'd like. Generally we both make sacrifices at those times in order to nurture our relationship.
I don't really see it as a bad thing, though. We're both pretty well balanced and happy except when one or both of us are working chaotic hours and we both get frustrated at the inability to see each other as much as we'd like. Generally we both make sacrifices at those times in order to nurture our relationship.
Jan 18, 12:25 pm
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With this said, every relationship HAS to find a way to keep the spark lit! Finding a 'neutral time' to communicate such encounters can lead to a better understanding when those situations do occur and that both parties will not feel slighted. As others have commented, there will always be another time to reengage that intimacy.
Originally posted by
indiglo
Sure, everything affects a relationship. Going to work, being out of work, traveling for work... all of it, definitely.
Jan 18, 1:46 pm
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Nothing to the point of causing problems that we would leave over. But of course work takes us away from each other and sometimes you're too tired to be intimate.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but
...
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but the worst is when he's crabby because all he wants to do is shower and crash in front of the TV. :-( I said all this to say, do you or your spouse's work affect your relationship? I'm trying to see how common this is. Thank you.
Jan 18, 2:00 pm
Yes. I am the type of person that likes to leave work and all that comes with it (besides an earlier bedtime) back at the office. My partner on the other hand comes home in a bad mood bc of it, answers calls that put her in a bad mood, I have to hear about at home when we go to dinner ect.. I find it okay once in a while or for moment because it seems to be important to her.It does however affect the relationship, bc if things are not going great and she wants to dicuss work or be in a bad mood bc of it, I then find myself wanting her to stop taking and just go away. (which makes me feel bad for thinking that) but I just want out at that point.
Jan 19, 6:48 pm
It doesn't really hurt my relationship. Maybe you could just give him space the first hour that he's home. He needs that time to recharge. Don't talk to him, just let him alone. Then, maybe just do something nice for him, like bring him a snack or something. Give him a hug and kiss.
If this goes on, and he just keeps ignoring you, bring it up calmly when he's rested and in a better mood.
If this goes on, and he just keeps ignoring you, bring it up calmly when he's rested and in a better mood.
Jan 19, 7:56 pm
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we have opposite schedules during the week - he works 7-4 most days and i work 4.30 - 3am. so i can crawl in bed with him for a couple hours during the week if i want... but mostly on the weekend is our only time together. it definitely makes things hard. sex is tough when you're tired.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but
...
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but the worst is when he's crabby because all he wants to do is shower and crash in front of the TV. :-( I said all this to say, do you or your spouse's work affect your relationship? I'm trying to see how common this is. Thank you.
Jan 19, 8:38 pm
Quote:
Unfortunately we are both guilty of bringing work home on occasion.
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but
...
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but the worst is when he's crabby because all he wants to do is shower and crash in front of the TV. :-( I said all this to say, do you or your spouse's work affect your relationship? I'm trying to see how common this is. Thank you.
Jan 20, 7:10 am
Quote:
only sometimes...
Originally posted by
bayosgirl
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but
...
My husband works 2 jobs, 14+ hours a day, and when we get home from his second job (which we work at together) he is often too tired to talk, let alone be intimate. The lack of intimacy I can tolerate (we usually make up for it on the weekends), but the worst is when he's crabby because all he wants to do is shower and crash in front of the TV. :-( I said all this to say, do you or your spouse's work affect your relationship? I'm trying to see how common this is. Thank you.
Feb 3, 10:23 am
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Total posts:
31
Unique posters: 31
Unique posters: 31