Mormons and Polyamory

Mr. Jim Mr. Jim
Do you think the Mormon's had it right when they practiced polyamory/polygamy?
04/27/2011
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Ansley Ansley
Polyamory and polygamy aren't really the same in my opinion. The man gets to have as many wives as he wants and she gets to have as many of his children as he wants but she is not free to enter into another relationship outside of her marriage to him. So, no I don't think they got it right.
04/27/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Polyamory and polygamy aren't really the same in my opinion. The man gets to have as many wives as he wants and she gets to have as many of his children as he wants but she is not free to enter into another relationship outside of her marriage to ... More
Ditto...
04/27/2011
Dusk Dusk
You seem to have posted this in two places so I'm going to copy my response here:

It's interesting that folks tend to wonder about the Mormon point of view when they hear of polyamory, but it isn't actually the same thing. Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polygamy is a marriage which includes more than two partners. The Mormons at one point believed in the latter, but now only Fundamentalist Mormons do so. Learning more about their beliefs, however, I realized that the basis of their heaven still allows for polygamy in the afterlife, as those who make it to heaven are reunited as a family with all of their married Mormon partners from this life.



From my point of view, it's hard to agree with the Mormons on most things. This is because I spent a year attending their church and realizing how demoralizing and genderist their society is to women. When it comes to polygamy, I simply can't condone the manner in which most of their polygamist relationships were (and are) run. They aren't based on mutual consent and love as much as they are men claiming power over women and forcing them into a submissive role.



Not every polygamist relationship is this way, but the majority through time have been and I can't accept that. Especially the communities in which women as young as ten were forced to marry older polygamist members of the sect.



I believe in polyamory because it involves mutual consent and love on the part of all partners. It's not a power trip unless everyone wants it to be, and it doesn't interfere with people's lives in an illegal and immoral fashion. If polygamy could be tailored this way through education and proper power balance, then fine. But the point is it's not. And I just can't be okay with that.
04/27/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Jim
Do you think the Mormon's had it right when they practiced polyamory/polygamy?
First of all the Mormons practice polyGYNY not polyamory or even properly polygamy. The religious practice of taking more than one wife while denying the women the right to the same practice is NOT polyamory at all. Polyamory isn't a religious practice though many of it's adherents are, indeed, highly religious. The poly lifestyle allows both men AND women the opportunity to love as many people as they are lucky enough to find that special connection with. This is not the case with polyandry or polygyny.
I believe that when the issue of polygyny was first brought up during the early years of the Mormon church there was a need for women to have the protection and support of a husband and this lifestyle filled that need. I do not believe in the 'celestial' marriage and becomming 'Gods' after death as this is NOT what Christ taught his followers. The thing is most Mormons don't espouse or agree with the philosophy of Polygyny. This isn't a small 'fringy' religion but a very large and thriving one!
I don't think any rational person would ever agree with marrying younger and younger girls while driving away young men, which has been alledged to happen in these compounds. I do agree, however, that if a young girl should believe in and wish to live in a plural marriage then it should be her choice...after she has reached the age where she can be reasonably able to make that choice. That seems to be the same age as thier non-plural marriage minded peers, around 18-25. I have been on a lovely compound and been very intimate with plural families and while I don't agree with their philosophies I also don't agree that their children are 'brainwashed' anymore than any other fundamentalist or non-religious family's children. Most of the women I met were rational, happy and content with their lives so I know it CAN work in a rational society...if any religious society can be called rational.
I abhor and decry the subjugation and degredation of women where ever it is taking place, I also abhor telling anyone that their CHOSEN lifestyle is inherently wrong so long as it isn't causing imminent harm to it's adherents. Yes molestation and forced marriage and subsequent rape of a "bride" is wrong, but so is caning woman publically for being in a bedroom with a man who is not her husband just because her neighbors "THINK" something bad is going on...
I do not, however, think that plural marriage is degrading or subjugation when it is chosen by it's participants. It's right for those it works for and wrong for those forced into it...sort of like my views on making monogamy the only right and true way.
04/28/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
You love this question!
I think it worked for them in that time period. But remember it has been over 100 years since mormons stopped practicing polygamy.
01/23/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Polyamory and polygamy aren't really the same in my opinion. The man gets to have as many wives as he wants and she gets to have as many of his children as he wants but she is not free to enter into another relationship outside of her marriage to ... More
right! i think that the mormons and polygamy was to keep women down and feeling like they werent good enough, but their opinions didnt matter so they never bothered putting up a fight.

polyamory, doesnt discriminate against one sex, its not a many having a bunch of wives, its a people who think "I/we have enough love to go around to have a new lover" not just the dude wanting to bang something new.
01/23/2012
AndromedaJane AndromedaJane
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Jim
Do you think the Mormon's had it right when they practiced polyamory/polygamy?
Maybe.
01/25/2012
earthmama earthmama
It is nice to have multiple moms around to heard children and keep things in order! I don't think the way the mormons did it was exactly correct, but the concept has some distinct advantages!
03/24/2013
novanilla novanilla
Quote:
Originally posted by earthmama
It is nice to have multiple moms around to heard children and keep things in order! I don't think the way the mormons did it was exactly correct, but the concept has some distinct advantages!
Maybe there are more moms but there are also more children.

I agree with others about how it only allowed men to marry others, and don't think there is anything else I can contribute to that conversation. It's all been said...it's sexist.

I think the people who have it "right" are the ones who are happy in their relationships as they are, because the right thing for one person is not right for someone else.
04/10/2013
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 10