how do you spice up things if kids sleep in same bed?

tlaskowski tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
have kids and do let them
12
have kids and don't let them
22
don't have kids and would let them
7
don't have kids and wouldn't let them
50
Total votes: 91 (87 voters)
Poll is closed
12/05/2011
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MeliPixie MeliPixie
Children should not be allowed to sleep in their parents' bed unless there is some medical reason to have them that close.
12/06/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I wouldn't let my kids in the same bed as me if I had kids. What people do in their homes is their business, but I couldn't see myself having a healthy sex life with junior sleeping with me.
12/06/2011
Jaimes Jaimes
After a nightmare is one thing, but it's just so dangerous to let your kids sleep with you on a regular basis. I already have dogs on the bed, I'm not sure what else could fit!
12/06/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
I do believe that having children in the bed is ok but not if there might be sexual contact. Now I realize that family bed proponents do not have sex while their kids are sleeping in the bed....at least that's my experience with people who support this type of sleeping arrangement.
My guys and I are very active sleepers and we were, justifiably, worried about rolling our babies under us. We had a waterbed at the time our first child was born so we never did the family bed because of the risk.
We never desired it since we firmly believe that the bed is OUR space and we keep it child free. The kids have jumped into the bed in the morning to snuggle with us and this has suited us just fine.
I have no problem with folks who can sleep with their kids in the bed but we've never been able to fully relax and sleep with a young'un in the bed...they are active sleepers and tend to kick!
12/06/2011
Ansley Ansley
Get the kids out of the bed! LOL That's how! I don't believe in co-sleeping. I think it's dangerous as others have brought up, but my opinion is probably moot because I do not and will never have children.
12/06/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
Our daughter didn't want to stay in our bed, thank goodness, even if we brought her there in a storm or after a bad dream. After a few minutes, she would always ask "can I go to MY bed"????
12/06/2011
PeppermintFuntimes PeppermintFuntimes
I don't have children, but I have friends that do. They certainly wouldn't let them sleep in their own bed, even with a medical problem, they'd just set up a crib/another bed in the same room. But I believe that if you have children(especially young ones), you won't be able to spice things up unless they're asleep in another room or not in the house.
12/06/2011
idunshire idunshire
I don't have children and I don't plan to.
I never slept in my parents' bed as a child so it's such a bizarre idea to me. I don't want people in my bed that I wouldn't actually invite TO BED...
12/06/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
It wouldn't be for me, but I know people that subscribe to the family bed theory and basically they just get more creative. They find time during the day or they wait until the kids are asleep and use another part of the house. Just because the kids sleep in the same bed as the parents doesn't mean everyone has the same bedtime.
12/06/2011
Rossie Rossie
We have never had that kind of problem. Our kids have their own bedrooms, and we've never make a habit of letting them climb onto our bed, and they've never tried.

If kids are sharing beds with their parents, then the parents should not do anything sexual at all, it's just abnormal.
12/06/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
I doubt I'd let my kids make a habit of sleeping in my bed with me.
12/06/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
The idea of people messing around while their kids are in the same bed as them kinda disturbing.
12/06/2011
married with children married with children
We moved our kids into their own bedroom before they had their first birthday. So we have never had this problem.
12/06/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
They come over and sleep with us but when they fall asleep we bring them back over pretty much right away. Then its freaky time.
12/06/2011
tlaskowski tlaskowski
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Our daughter didn't want to stay in our bed, thank goodness, even if we brought her there in a storm or after a bad dream. After a few minutes, she would always ask "can I go to MY bed"????
My daughter does the same thing! if i want to cuddle in the morning she just wants to play! her bed is for sleeping out bed is for play! LOL no pun intended!
12/06/2011
Sinfully Sinfully
Don't have any kids but if I did they would not be in sleeping in my bed.
12/07/2011
mandaj mandaj
my oldest use to, but i finally broke him a 1 and half ago. tht was a awful mistake lettin him sleep with us!!! but my other 2 kids have never ever slept with us and they do great in their bed. my 2 month old actually sleeps thru the night
12/07/2011
badk1tty badk1tty
Without singling anyone out, I'm a little offended about the judgmental attitude about "KICK THE KIDS OUT, THEY NEED TO GO". Sure, kids don't need to sleep with their parents, but there's a lot more involved behind it than just "medical reasons".

Love, comfort, nursing, security, etc. Both of my children were co-sleepers for a time. My first would end up in our bed more often than not because of nursing. She is 5, and sleeps in her own bed, but doesn't hesitate to come sleep with mom if she just wants some extra cuddles.

My 21 week old sleeps with me nearly every night. She's nursing, and she wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat. She wakes up, takes 15 minutes to eat, and another 30 minutes to go back to bed in her crib, during which time she also wakes up the 5 year old, who then takes another 15-20 minutes to get back to bed for herself. So every 2-3 hours, I'd be up for an hour. That cuts my 8 hours of sleep down to about 5, and when I'm cranky, everyone's cranky. When she sleeps with me, however, she doesn't even fully wake up to eat, she just nuzzles in, eats, and goes right back to sleep. Most of the time I don't even wake up more than to just adjust for her.

As for the dangers of co-sleeping, if it's done right it's safer than cribs, because parents and children both are aware of the other. It's called "protective arousal". My husband can tell you, when the baby adjusts, I adjust. When I roll over, even in my sleep, I will cuddle the baby and roll her over with me. We are always facing chest to chest. This is normal for co-sleeping, and as long as you don't have excessively heavy or fluffy pillows/blankets, and you don't ever EVEREVEREVER go to sleep under the influence of tobacco/drugs/alcohol/ Rx's, etc, there are -less- risks for SIDS with co-sleeping than with not. (Yes, tobacco).

All of this is very documented in medical journals/studies/with many Dr's, etc. Look around at other cultures, many of them co-sleep until the children are nearing puberty. It's been done this way for hundreds of years, and only recently did it became a huge problem - mainly in the 50's and 60's with an increase in SIDS because of parents putting their children down in fluffy cribs, face down.

Anyhow, I'm rambling. My point is, if you don't know the situation and haven't done the research, please don't just blindly judge or blanket assume. Everyone has different reasons for wanting to co-sleep, or to not co-sleep. Either way, it doesn't make it bad, as long as it's being done safely.

As for the initial question, we don't have sex with our kids in the bed. They do have their own beds, and will sleep in them. However, with my husband being deployed, I don't have to worry about the whole sex thing. If I want to get frisky with myself, she goes in the crib, mama does her thing, and then when she wakes up a few hours later for her feeding, if she needs to come back, she can.

As a side note, a lot of information can be found at Dr Sears' website, with a lot of external links to medical journals, etc. I'm not trying to preach, but it's really no different to blanket judge a situation like this, as it is to say "all people who like BDSM were abused!", like many media outlets will tell you. Just my take.
12/07/2011
klyte klyte
Have sex?
12/07/2011
tlaskowski tlaskowski
Quote:
Originally posted by badk1tty
Without singling anyone out, I'm a little offended about the judgmental attitude about "KICK THE KIDS OUT, THEY NEED TO GO". Sure, kids don't need to sleep with their parents, but there's a lot more involved behind it than just ... More
please know that my point is not to kids the kids out! i nursed both my kids and they did co sleep for a while with me but when i nurse i am in no more to have sex like other people so i was just wondering how people spice things up! And if my kids ever need some cuddle time they are more then welcome to come into my bed! so please know that was not what i was thinking when i started the post!
12/08/2011
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by tlaskowski
please know that my point is not to kids the kids out! i nursed both my kids and they did co sleep for a while with me but when i nurse i am in no more to have sex like other people so i was just wondering how people spice things up! And if my kids ... More
I didn't take it that way, it was a few of the responses that rubbed me wrong.
12/08/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
It's been trying at times, but we don't let our little one sleep in the same bed as us.
12/08/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I read a lot about cosleeping, but it just isn't for us. Neither of our parents coslept with us either, and we turned out great! I just really value that cuddle time with the hubs, and I think our strong relationship will have a more positive impact on our kids than having a family bed would.
12/09/2011
duff duff
We wouldnt allow it. We all need our space. Our bed is cramped as it.
12/12/2011
Amelia Jane Amelia Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
We have a baby who sleeps with us, so we just have our fun elsewhere. We have a futon that gets put to good use on a regular basis. It will be nice when the baby gets a bit older and can be moved into her sister's room, though.
12/13/2011
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by badk1tty
Without singling anyone out, I'm a little offended about the judgmental attitude about "KICK THE KIDS OUT, THEY NEED TO GO". Sure, kids don't need to sleep with their parents, but there's a lot more involved behind it than just ... More
Thank you for writing this! I co-slept with my second child until she was 18months, and my third until she was 6months. There are other places for babies to be when things heat up. When done safely, co-sleeping is a wonderful, and safe way to sleep, especially when you're breastfeeding! (life saver!). I think it's really a "to each their own" type of a thing.
12/13/2011
LAndJ LAndJ
I'm not for co-sleeping besides when the kid is scared or for an afternoon nap.
12/17/2011
leelee leelee
My son comes into our bed EVERY night like he's sleep walking but it's well past 2am so it's almost morning time and we've already been done long before he comes into the room. But I'd never let him be in our bed if we were trying to do anything.
01/31/2012
Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
Quote:
Originally posted by badk1tty
Without singling anyone out, I'm a little offended about the judgmental attitude about "KICK THE KIDS OUT, THEY NEED TO GO". Sure, kids don't need to sleep with their parents, but there's a lot more involved behind it than just ... More
Bravo.

I was one in the 'Never going to happen' crowd.....before I had kids. Our first we didn't 2 and 3 we did. 4 (last one, lol) If it happens, it happens. It was just WAY easier on me since they exclusively breast fed...And they were 'out' of our bed by the time they were a year.

As for the sex life? They would start the night off in their crib. So usually if we were up to it, we had some time before they woke up for a feeding and stayed in bed with us. But honestly there is NO drive for that first year...
05/06/2012
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Total posts: 59
Unique posters: 53