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I've been married for almost 3 years now. Sex was good and often of course at the beginning of our marriage. Now, I seem to have no sex drive anymore, while my husband still does. I want to want sex. We now have sex like once a week, and
I've been married for almost 3 years now. Sex was good and often of course at the beginning of our marriage. Now, I seem to have no sex drive anymore, while my husband still does. I want to want sex. We now have sex like once a week, and sometimes, I just make myself do it, to please my husband. I want to be able to enjoy it more myself.
We've tried many things. Making out gets boring for me after a while. Playing with ourselves before hand helps me, but my husband gets bored with that. We watch porn, but unless it's something different, it doesn't excite me too quickly.
Anyone have any suggestions?
First of all, don't beat yourself up over it too much. This slump is normal in many relationships! And because a man's sex drive is usually more active than a woman's to begin with, it's only natural that he is going to want it more. A dear friend of mine said he's hit the slump with his GF after 3 months. I told him there could be something else wrong.
I'll be honest, I'm 39 with 3 kids and my libido has dropped considerably, to the point where I'm content with good sex once or twice a month. I'm sure he wouldn't mind it more, but we make due. I'm either horny, or I'm not, so we just try to base it around those few times. It's my reality. And we just celebrated 14 years of marriage, and to top it off, I just had major surgery on my lady parts, so it's going to be a few months before I get my groove back, what little I had. Turns out I had some endometriosis too, which has made sex uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it affects libido though, other than the pain of it being a complete turn off.
A healthy relationship cannot be measured on the frequency of sex alone. There are so many other factors that make it fulfilling: commitment, communication, honesty, laughter, etc..
Try not to think about it too much. I know it's hard not to, but try, and maybe it will just sneak out of nowhere. Mine usually hits me around 3pm, the worst timing ever, but we've pulled off a few quickies with the door locked.