Friends after a break-up questions.

linnlinn linnlinn
So I just got out of a relationship and we are trying to be friends. I am looking at exploring some new things sexually, for instance BDSM, and my ex is really uncomfortable with me doing so at social events with another mutual, platonic, friend. I want to find a way for me to be happy and explore my desires with out hurting them, but I don't know how. And part of me want to think they are being completely unreasonable, but I'm scared about damaging the relationship after we were working so hard at being friends again. Where do I compromise and where do I stand up for what I want? I'm having a hard time finding the line.
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peachmarie peachmarie
I understand that you are trying to be friends but you just stated that trying new things sexually is something that you want in your newly single life. If your Ex is friends with you he will understand that it's something that you want and the fact that he's not dating you anymore kind of limits what he is entitled to disapprove of in your life. If you were dating and he was uncomfortable with it then obviously you would give it some though. But you aren't and he just has to learn to respect your wishes. Maybe just do it and don't tell him or look outside your mutual friend circle. Point is you are your own person and you don't have to answer to him. Also maybe some time apart after you just broke up to gain some perspective on your newly single identity's. If you just broke up he still may be in "boyfriend" mode where he worries about you out of love and habit. If you give it a few months and come back to each other as friends after you've found out more about yourselves he may feel less invested in worrying about what you do lol.
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