Would you, could you, with a cane?

Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I know we've talked about it before but Sarah's article made me wonder and think. A lot of times we get involved with someone much younger or older than we are and brush age off as insignificant. Sarah and her partner really impressed me with how much thought and concern they put into their age difference.

How about y'all? Is age just a number? Or something you give as much attention as any other "issues" in a relationship?
08/05/2009
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Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
There's 15 years between Alan & I, and for the most part it's just a number.
I dated both directions (older and younger) before I got married and found that younger guys weren't my thing, so by the age of 19 I was pretty much sticking with guys in their early 30s. There are a lot of advantages to an older man, not the least of them being sexual.
Most of the issues that Alan & I had happened in the first 5 years of our marriage, and they were more personality-based so I believe they could apply to people of the same age as well. I'm a lot more "hyper" (as he called it) and adventurous than he is, and it was worse when I was younger. Over time though, we managed to balance each other out very nicely. I helped him release some of his repressed wild side, and he helped me curb my overly-vigorous and sometimes self destructive tendencies down. There's never been any power plays in the relationship, but then again both of us are really open-minded and have always been willing to work towards the middle ground in any situation.
Family was a big issue... both of ours hated who we were with. But we pretty much just made the choice to be with one another no matter what, and the families eventually got over it after a few years. I know that sounds selfish, but we both knew we'd found the right partner, so nothing else mattered.

Now that we're getting older, age is a factor once in awhile because my hormones are going nuts with this pre-menopause crap and I pretty much want to have sex 24/7. Alan keeps up amazingly well (at least once a day), and when he can't we compromise. He's a master at erotic massage and oral, plus we've got a good collection of toys, so we still manage to keep up the intimacy on those "bad back days" of his.
08/05/2009
Sammi Sammi
We never thought about it much - so I'd say for us it's just a number. When we very first started dating, he thought I was about 3 years younger than I was (he was 17). So maybe that would have been something to think about back then! We're actually about 7 months apart - he's older .

The only issue I've noticed (and Lord knows, I don't have a lot of experience with other men) is what Michele mentioned above - my hormones are going nuts, and he sometimes can't keep up. Especially when I want to go a couple times a day . But we've got it worked out.
08/05/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I was a lot like Michele: I started dating guys my own age, then I realized they just weren't mature enough for me, so I started dating graduate students and men in their late 20s/early 30s. Obviously, issues arose with older men that wouldn't have come up as much with a younger man; most of the time, the older men want to get ready to settle down and have a family, and I'm just too young for that yet. But overall, my relationships with older men have included an honesty and an openness that I didn't find in my relationships of younger guys.

Generally speaking, all of the women I've dated have been my age or thereabouts, but I'm sure I wouldn't mind dating an older woman.
08/05/2009
Raven Raven
Like Michelle, I found out really early that guys my age were not what I wanted and although did have dates with guys my age or younger, the older guys, to me, were sexier and more experienced. The oldest guy I ever dated had a daughter a little older than I was, and he was fantastic. My husband is 10 years older than I am, and so far, so good. But I do wonder sometimes about how it will be when we get on in years.
08/07/2009
NuMe NuMe
My husband is only 3 years older than me. But like Michele and Sammi said my hormones are off the charts right now. Unfortunately my husband can't quite keep up, though he tries. It seems age isn't being as kind to him as it is to me. His work is physical and his knees and back have a hard time holding up. But like they said we work it out and thankfully I have my toys too.
08/07/2009
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
My husband is only 3 years older than me. But like Michele and Sammi said my hormones are off the charts right now. Unfortunately my husband can't quite keep up, though he tries. It seems age isn't being as kind to him as it is to me. His ... More
I guess we're all just proof positive that the old myth of "female libido drops with age" is total BS. (lol)
08/07/2009
spicywife spicywife
My husband is about 11 months older. I was going to give up on guys around my age as well because they were not mature at all. But then I met my husband who was completely different and I could not let that good of a guy go.

But I have had the frustration, before meeting my mate, that younger men were not mature and not worth the trouble. That can't be said for all guys of course. But I had one experience with a boyfriend who was just into his pleasure and not mine. Luckily I didn't waste my time or lose my virginity to him.

I think that age difference is a personal choice. If you meet the right person, age hardly matters.
08/07/2009
Liz2 Liz2
I dated guys my own age and once or twice younger. The maturity level left much to be desired but perhaps it was me as well. My present b/f is three years older and very much wants to settle down but my life is complicated at present. He is so patient and understanding....a younger guy would be gone by now.
I guess it depends on the person....some people age better then others and sometimes worse. But who keeps the charts anyway, again it depends on the person.
08/08/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
I dated guys my own age and once or twice younger. The maturity level left much to be desired but perhaps it was me as well. My present b/f is three years older and very much wants to settle down but my life is complicated at present. He is so ... More
It does depend on the person. But it seems there is some type of correlation here with women finding it hard to relate to younger men.
08/08/2009
Envy Envy
My bf is actually about 4 years younger than I at 18, while I just turned 22. I find that all guys I've dated have either been about my age or younger--something about the youth draws me to them, and I get this protective feeling towards them. Also, women generally live longer so I figure why not be the older one? It'll balance out the death times in old age. Plus, almost all the women in his family are older than the men, AND wear the pants, LOL!

I think the only real issue I worry about is health issues, such as weak lungs, bad hearts, etc. He sufferes from lung problems a lot and can get sick easy at times, other times not, it depends. Plus he has that skin condition, excema or whatever. Regardless, I still love him to bits and he's been my first real serious bf (was never allowed to date growing up) and for over 2 years has been by my side despite us living in two different states. We plan to marry hopefully in a few years, he's such a sweetheart, even putting up with my 0 sex drive due to my blasted bc pills!

So ya, I prefer younger than older however I don't mind either way so long as the guy is a sweetheart and communicates.
08/08/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
This article was so inspiring for me. It's eased many of my doubts/fears about my relationship with my older partner. I guess it's just good to hear that others have gone through the same experience and that it really does work out.
08/13/2009
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I am just a few months younger than Sigel and we went through highschool together so I always assumed I preferred same age guys...then I met Arch and fell mad hard for him. He's 14 years our junior but it ony matters sometimes cause he's still learning to fend for himself LOL Still this works for us.
08/13/2010
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I know we've talked about it before but Sarah's article made me wonder and think. A lot of times we get involved with someone much younger or older than we are and brush age off as insignificant. Sarah and her partner really impressed me ... More
age is just a number. my husband is 35 he will be 36 on march 23 and i am 24 ill be 25 in june, so to me and him its not a big deal; other ppl ask lol but o well
03/02/2011
jazz4me jazz4me
I think age is just a number but only to a certain point. The other partner can not be way to young or way to old, because if they are eventually problems will arise.
03/02/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Seeing as I'm only 18, I think I'd have to set my max at 30 years for now.
03/02/2011
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 14