an orgasm a day?

Machina Machina
What could possibly cause a man in his early 20s to refuse multiple sex sessions in one night. He claims he can only have one orgasm a day, and it's physically impossible for him to fuck more than once a night. Is this dude just bullshitting me, or is this a common problem. I've never encountered this before.
03/05/2009
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jedent jedent
My husband and I have been together since we were teenagers, and he could never get off more than once. He can get it hard again, no sweat, and even stays erect after he orgasms, but he cannot cum all those times even though it still feels good.

If your boyfriend cant keep up with you and you still want to go, have him fuck you with a dildo, that's what this site is for after all!

Don't be offended, men arent built the same way women are.
03/05/2009
Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
Most guys have some kind of recovery time. This can vary from 1 minute to 24 hours, I guess. I need a couple of hours before I am ready to go again, but I don't mind working on my partner in the mean time. Maybe your guy needs 12 hours (or more) but nobody really knows except him. Like jedent said, get your favorite toys out and have him use them on you.
03/05/2009
Liz2 Liz2
Most guys, in their 20's, can get off more then once in 24hrs. My idea is that your sexuality may overwhelm your b/f and he is concerned about not fulfilling your needs so he does little or nothing.
Will he watch you masturbate? What kind of porn does he enjoy alone? And sometimes, it just takes time to be totally sexually comfortable with each other.
Guys are known to brag about sex, physical fucking may be new to him.
03/05/2009
Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
When my husband was 23 he could go 4, 5 times a night. Now that he's 29 he can only go once. He's out of shape now, has thyroid problems, and lower testosterone than he did then. He needs a recovery time of about 6 hours before he can even think about having sex again.

However, there really are men out there that just aren't sexual. They don't like to engage in sexual activity that often and it's not against the norm, it's just their personal preference.

I'm with Liz, I wonder if he is overwhelmed by your desire for sex and your love of sex toys. Is he conservative? Did he grow up thinking sex was shameful? Did he recently lose his virginity? Did something sexually traumatic happen to him? *We're getting a little deep here but w/e * ... There could be a multitude of reasons why he doesn't want to engage in "too much" sex. The only way you'll know is if you talk to him.
03/05/2009
Machina Machina
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Most guys, in their 20's, can get off more then once in 24hrs. My idea is that your sexuality may overwhelm your b/f and he is concerned about not fulfilling your needs so he does little or nothing.
Will he watch you masturbate? What kind of ... More
This was very insightful, thank you. He's had more partners than I have, but I am way more open about sex than he is. I've never asked him to watch me masturbate because I assumed it would make him uncomfortable. I've peeked on his computer before & he watches pretty standard porn- blowjobs and regular old sex usually. No fetish porn, anal, etc. He never initiates sex either. He's very attractive, and I'm pretty sure he's never really had to put forth much effort to get a girl to go to bed with him. Could that have something to do with it?
03/05/2009
Machina Machina
Quote:
Originally posted by Sleeping Dreamer
When my husband was 23 he could go 4, 5 times a night. Now that he's 29 he can only go once. He's out of shape now, has thyroid problems, and lower testosterone than he did then. He needs a recovery time of about 6 hours before he can even ... More
He lost his virginity when he was 14 & has had no traumatic experiences (to my knowledge). He's not conservative at all. We're both very liberal people, and open minded about all other things. The only thing he says when I bring it up is "I'm sorry I didn't satisfy you the first time around." I try to tell him it's exactly the opposite- it was so good the first time I want more, but this is usually about the time he turns the TV on.
03/05/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
My husband is one of those that at 31 can go 3 or 4 a day, but has a little longer recovery time then when we were 20. I have been with other guys that were once in 24 hours and if I was lucky 18...It depends on a lot of things and is different from person to person.
03/05/2009
Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Machina
This was very insightful, thank you. He's had more partners than I have, but I am way more open about sex than he is. I've never asked him to watch me masturbate because I assumed it would make him uncomfortable. I've peeked on his ... More
That he's lazy? It might.
03/05/2009
Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by Machina
This was very insightful, thank you. He's had more partners than I have, but I am way more open about sex than he is. I've never asked him to watch me masturbate because I assumed it would make him uncomfortable. I've peeked on his ... More
Perhaps he just has a low sex drive. But if he is watching porn there must be something in it for him. Number of prior partners? He may be bragging from being insecure. Keep the lines of communication open!
03/05/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Machina
He lost his virginity when he was 14 & has had no traumatic experiences (to my knowledge). He's not conservative at all. We're both very liberal people, and open minded about all other things. The only thing he says when I bring it up ... More
Wow... that sounds rather... snarky of him. Then again, it's probably just an insecurity thing. My boyfriend's never had a problem with my insatiability--he thinks it's cute! He's willing to have sex with me multiple times in a day, but usually he only cums once, sometimes twice. He also likes using toys on me or watching me use toys on myself if he's not ready to go again. Your boyfriend seems to misinterpret your insatiability as a sign he's not good enough for you (some guys are intimidated by toys that may satisfy better than they can!). Maybe a way to dispel this myth is to just sit him down and have a talk with him... AWAY from the television. It might make him uncomfortable, but then again, most hard topics are. It's your call, either way. This isn't an issue I've had experience with.
03/05/2009
reddog2196 reddog2196
When I'm in good shaped I can cum more and when I do it is better feeling. Being in shape is an asset to having good sex from a guys point of view.
03/05/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
You know, some of the comments here have been a little stereotypical. Just because he's young doesn't mean he should be some sex all star. I've been with my 23 year old husband for the last 5 years and he has never really been able to go more than once in a session (maybe 2 or 3 times we've done two orgasms in a session but never more than that). His sex drive is just fine and he's not out of shape. -shrugs-
03/05/2009
That Weird Guy That Weird Guy
You might want to get your BF a book to read on male multiple orgasm that way he can last as long as he wants still orgasm and keep his erection.

but once he shoots his load its pretty much over until the recovery time passes...

multiple orgasm basically means you squeeze your pc muscles before your orgams and can stop it from happening and have a dry orgasm and then you keep your erection..

I've done this several times with out thinking about it but I have yet to do it since I read a book about it..

But you need strong PC muscles and a strong will to be able to actually squeeze them at the right time to stop the ejaculation (My problem is the strong will)

I believe this technique works because I remember doing it a few times.. But remember it's not something you can do in a few days it takes time to master and practice is the only way to do that...
03/05/2009
That Weird Guy That Weird Guy
The book I read was by Barbara Keesling.

Title: How to Make Love All Night: And Drive a Woman Wild!

This is the only book I've read on the issue so I'm not really sure if it's the best, the worst or somewhere in between.. Your best bet is to read the reviews of the books and make a decision that way..
03/05/2009
MaxD MaxD
I personally have experienced being able to have sex multiple times one night and only once on another night. It just depends on how things are working on any given night. The amount of stress I'm under or how tired I am can impact this. Too much stress from a bad day at work and once is all I can really muster. I am always more than willing to satisfy my wife no matter how long it takes or what she requires of me even if I can't perform. I really enjoy using toys on her too. I just love watching it even if I can't get hard at that particular time. If I'm well rested and stress free, there's no boundaries! I hope this helps.
03/05/2009
Machina Machina
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
You know, some of the comments here have been a little stereotypical. Just because he's young doesn't mean he should be some sex all star. I've been with my 23 year old husband for the last 5 years and he has never really been able to go ... More
Thanks for sharing! I feel like as a modern woman I shouldn't give into the typical stereotype that men ready & willing 24 hours a day. I know this can put added pressure on any male, and possibly even lead to anxiety when they are unable to fulfill this ideal. Plus, I wouldn't want any man to put me into the stereotype that women view sex as something done only to please their man (because that certainly is NOT the case).
03/06/2009
Machina Machina
Thank you to everyone for your great suggestions! You have all been very informative & I really appreciate all the input on this situation, as I was at a total loss. I too have never had any experience with anything remotely like this.

UPDATE: We talked a little last night. I didn't want to go into everything during just one conversation because I didn't want to overwhelm him, so I just asked him his attitudes on sex. To my shock & disappointment he informed me that he views sex as "work," and admitted to me that he has never really had a satisfying sex life. He says it's always the same whether he's with a partner or masturbating. He started at an early age and has had over ten partners ( I know this is true because we live in a small town, so word gets around ).

Rather than getting upset (which was hard to do) I suggested we try something new to spice things up the next time we have sex. He seemed very interested! Yay! He's displayed reluctancy to try sex toys in the past, so I figure I'll start by trying to initiate sex in a new location other than the bedroom. If this gets his juices flowing I eventually want to bring up the topic of sex toys. In my own personal experience a few vibrations completely changed my sexuality in the best possible way.

When I first started having sex I remember thinking "is this it?" Now I think "wow, this IS IT!" I think the key with this guy is going to be moving slow and steady to get him acclimated to positive and healthy sexual attitudes and experiences, and not taking him out of his comfort zone too soon. If that doesn't work, I'm going to have to end this relationship. I can live with one orgasm a day from him if he's willing to pleasure me, or watch me pleasure myself, as many times as I need to feel satisfied.
03/06/2009
Liz2 Liz2
Great breakthrough! Certainly worth trying at this point. Most of us grow sexually, both guys and girls but for some it may take longer.
You noted how easy it was for him to attract women, could be he is reluctant to move on from there up until now.
03/06/2009
Ciao. Ciao.
Sounds like you're making progress. I just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents on the issue. I'm a guy who can only orgasm maybe twice in a day, I'm in my 20's, and I don't have anything psychologically or physically wrong with me...so yeah...it's definitely possible.

Just because he can't orgasm though, doesn't mean he can't have fun engaging in sex, I've gladly used toys on my partner many times when she wanted a little more action (even our strapon) and that was plenty of fun watching her enjoy the action...even if I wasn't getting all the pleasure.
03/06/2009
Machina Machina
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
Sounds like you're making progress. I just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents on the issue. I'm a guy who can only orgasm maybe twice in a day, I'm in my 20's, and I don't have anything psychologically or physically wrong with ... More
Thanks Boink, it really helps to hear this is how other guys are too.
03/06/2009
Eden in Texas Eden in Texas
Quote:
Originally posted by Machina
Thanks Boink, it really helps to hear this is how other guys are too.
It sounds like he isn't mentally engaged in it. He expects a certain physical feeling to come from it, and there isn't necessarily anything else that goes with it. Being in love helps, or at least really caring about the other person, but making him feel it throughout his entire body would, I think, make all the difference in the world.

One way to do that would be to tie him up, if he'll let you, and if you know what you're doing, or at least are willing to look into it. Teasing a guy can be a good thing, but teasing too much or in the wrong way can be a turn off, perhaps more so than teasing with a girl. Personally, I have a threshold, and the closer I get to that threshold, the less it helps to stop the teasing. In other words, don't get him close and stop - at least, in my experience, that just makes it worse.

If you can tease early on and really turn him on, really make him 'want it', or want you, whatever you want to call it, that 'feeling' will build up inside him, and keep building. It sounds like he doesn't really have that desire to enjoy the act, but really just does it to get to the orgasm. If you can tie him down, or at least get him to let you pleasure him, in a teasing way, try to get him going, but not too much, and try to keep him on a slow boil for about an hour.

Even if he never manages to make it to a second orgasm in a day, he'll want to experience that feeling every time you have sex (and whether you do or don't is irrelevant, it is the goal of getting him to want that 'treat', like a good puppy.

Picture it, if you will. Him begging you to take it further. As long as you haven't brought him too much stimulation at once, he won't have passed the threshold and you'll be able to keep teasing him until you can't take it anymore. And once he does orgasm this way, I think you'll see a change. Best of luck!

& Tony
03/18/2009
Focuzed86 Focuzed86
Well i mean it all depends on the day but Im 22 and id say 95% of the time i can go 5 to infinity...but 5% of the time after once i just dont have anything left. but one thing that has worked in the past on a day i felt like one was all i had in me....about 2 hours later my wife came in from a shower and instead of getting dressed she opened the toy chest and laid on the bed and had some fun by herself....completely ignored me and was getting right into it, it was so different and so hot that i went 3 times that day so i guess im probably just gunna chime in with what everyone else is saying do something wild, crazy off the wall and i bet he can probably do it a few times
03/20/2009
Dr.Horne Dr.Horne
I think it depends on the man and his penis. Every penis is different you know. I can go a couple rounds several times a day.
05/04/2009
Graendil55 Graendil55
I'm not sure if. My husband is 24 and he can only get it off once a day. He can get hard sure, but sex with ejaculation only once.
08/03/2009
Purple Sexy Purple Sexy
My husband is 33 and we can have several sexual rounds a day with ejaculation each time.
09/10/2009
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 17