i know this is stupid but could you?

xchairitycasex xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok here it goes big inhale
can you all look at this picture and tell me the good and the bad things about it (as in what makes it look un-attractive or what makes it attractive)

[IMG]link[/IMG]

as im sure you can all guess its me, and im very embarressed...
  •   (5)
    This is unacceptable / Against the Expectations of Conduct
05/07/2010
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Sir Sir
I do not know why this is appropriate, or even why a psychiatrist would tell you to do such a thing. Looking for other people's approval is not necessary - you need to feel comfortable in your own skin beforehand before asking anyone else what they think of it.

Why did the psychiatrist say that this will be good for you? Posting pictures of yourself on the internet is not ever a good thing.
05/07/2010
Elodie Elodie
I agree with Sir. This sounds like a very bad idea. You need to think about the good things about you for yourself. I'm kind of aghast that a mental health professional would recommend this.
05/07/2010
imp imp
Get a new shrink. It's really not about what's on the outside.
05/07/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
My suggestion (I am assuming this is to boost self esteem somehow) would be to call the medical board and your insurance and let them know your Dr is nuts. If he/she is trying to help you, he/she should know this will likely be counter productive. As a society we need to focus on the people we are, not try to be perfect, a mental health professional should know that. BTW...the picture is fine, nothing is wrong with it at all (looks wise).
05/07/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
I think I know where your therapist is going with this with you, and it's actually quite bold of her to suggest such a thing (not to mention dangerous). However, this sort of thing needs to be done in a group therapy environment with a lot of control, not the internet in an uncontrolled environment like a forum.

I know you trust us to be honest and tactful since we all behave ourselves, but I'm afraid we're not up to the challenge of assisting in a therapy assignment dealing with the exorcism of self-loathing.

(For the sake of participation, though, I will say that I am neutral about your looks; you look like every other slender girl in a bikini.)
05/07/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Did your Dr. tell you to post this on the net or ask people you know face to face? There is a difference in the sort of feedback you receive fact to face and over the net. I get the feeling what this exercize is supposed to do is reduce your body dysmorphia and show you that people don't think you are hideously deformed or ugly. It would be more theraputic for you to be able to look at the body language of the people you ask this question of rather than a bunch of people who can only use printed medium.

It is dangerous to post a pic of yourself online so if this was the suggestion of your Dr. then you need another one. The danger is real and shouldn't be dismissed regardless of the value of the exercize.

To answer your question you have a lovely curvy body that you should be proud of, though each and every person on these forums and on the site has the same! Looking objectively at the positives your body is lushly female, well taken care of and pleasant to view. It's easy to pick apart your own body but if you can learn to shift your focus to seeing the whole picture then you'll become more comfortable in your skin. Good luck to you in your search for wholeness and an end to the pain of self loathing.
05/07/2010
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok ... More
Because I do not know what type of therapy you are receiving, I can't tell you anything about this picture. If you are reviving therapy regarding an eating disorder, than it is probably fine. If you are receiving therapy regarding physical abuse than it is an attempt to see if you can spot the abuse in this picture. Otherwise, the point of the picture is unclear. If this picture were used in a test, which it should not be, then other answers would be invalidated. You need to ask your therapist why you were given this picture. If the reason seems validated than it is fine but if it is odd then you may wish to think about finding someone else.
05/07/2010
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by Heartthrob
Because I do not know what type of therapy you are receiving, I can't tell you anything about this picture. If you are reviving therapy regarding an eating disorder, than it is probably fine. If you are receiving therapy regarding physical abuse ... More
Did not see the part about this picture being you. Disregard the last comment. You're therapist is breaking the code of ethics and this can and is considered sexual abuse and misconduct. Find another therapist. If you are the victim of an eating disorder or physical abuse (the idea for that were the scratches on your leg, not saying they were caused by that at all), then it is some radical form of therapy which is still unethical. Whatever you choose to do, do not post anything about your case online or your therapist.
05/07/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok ... More
Thank you for choosing the EF community to share yourself one. You must put a lot of faith in the online group as a whole.

I think you have a nice body. Average, not too fat or thin. Nice curves. I don't know about the scratches or whatever on your leg.

Have a great weekend!
05/07/2010
Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok ... More
Obviously don't know the whole story, but how and why did this pic become involved with your therapy? The "scrathes" on your leg are of concern and why use this pic anyway?
No question is stupid!!
05/08/2010
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok ... More
I noticed several things, but first I agree with the statements made by several members below. I think that it is out of line of your doctor to ask this.

1. I noticed the names on the picture, your Eden name and you language. You are reinforcing negative images in your own mind with your own language. Try to relabel the picture - even with some neutral as the date. Better with something positive.

2. I swear my first though was extraordinarily beautiful. Fine smooth skin. Strong slender waist, very well defined figure, looks muscular, nice breasts, well portioned. You have a better figure than I do. You are not fat.


3. Then I noticed the scar on the leg. So what. Something happened in life. Makes you who you are. Makes you interesting.

4. The bikini is a style that is very flattering to you. I don't like the pattern, but I know that's my issue. I don't like flowers in clothes. Pretty much ever.

I'm going to assume that you are going to a psychiatrist for you reasons in a positive way to improve some part of your life. The more you think about little things in your life or little things that you see in a good way, the easier life gets. "I like the fabric in the bikini. I like how soft my skin is. I like the interesting pattern my scar makes on my leg. I like how the sun shines on my skin today."

I like how you had the courage to post here even if you weren't sure. You're stronger and more beautiful than you're giving yourself credit for. Maybe you really don't need that doctor. Just a few new words. Giant HUG!
05/08/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
I think you look beautiful, but it doesn't matter what I think. YOU need to love yourself independently of the opinions of others. Your self image can't depend on the feelings of others, least of all a group of strangers in an online group.

Furthermore, it's VERYVERY unethical for you doctor to ask you to do this. You really need to report this and find a better one!
05/08/2010
Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
Yes that is rather odd that he would have you do this, it doesn't matter what other people think about you. Its all what u think, confidence is sexy!
05/08/2010
xchairitycasex xchairitycasex
ihave to say i am embarressed. the therpy is for my bad body image. i have told her that i am on this website and chat about sex and things like that and she told me to post a picture of myself to show myself that people would probably tell me that i had a good body and dont need to try to lose lots of weight or to well hurt myself becuase of my body. my boyfreind took the picture and got that bikin for it he really wants me to see this doctor hopeing it will help me not to feel so bad about myself. really this whole excersize feels terrable and miserable and is very embarressing. boyfreind had to watch to make sure i posted this so he could go back and tell her.
05/08/2010
deceased deceased
You don't need to lose any weight. Your body is just perfectly fine and proportioned. I see what your therapist is trying to do,, and although its a little offbeat, its less humiliating than taking you into a room and parading you through and having people validate or humiliate you.


There are many people with body dysmorphic disorders who do not see themselves as they actually are, especially in the mirror. Its like trying to find the forest through thee trees, to quote a tired cliche. Many look in a mirror and see only flaws and imperfections -asymmetry, exagerated proportions, scars, etc and hone in on things no one else would ever notice.

It is good to view your body, depersonalized, without a head and take a step back and say "hey, not so bad, and I never knew I had such long legs and such a tiny waist, etc".


Don't feel stupid


What you did is brave and can be ultimately a valuable theraputic exercise.
05/08/2010
Elodie Elodie
It sounds like your boyfriend is also way too involved in this therapy.

None of us wanted to embarrass you. Completely the opposite. But your description of your therapy is frightening. You should report this therapist to the proper authorities in your state (hopefully someone here will be able to tell you how to do it), and find a new one, whom you choose.
05/08/2010
Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
ihave to say i am embarressed. the therpy is for my bad body image. i have told her that i am on this website and chat about sex and things like that and she told me to post a picture of myself to show myself that people would probably tell me that i ... More
Your body is amazing you don't need us to tell you that.
05/08/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I'm not going to say anything about your body, but rather that I don't think you should be posting things like this the forum.

If your psychiatrist is trying to help you, random strangers on a forum won't help. It doesn't matter what we think or feel, you're going to feel the way you feel.

That is all.
05/08/2010
Sir Sir
I will say something right now, and do understand. Feeding a person's want for attention or want for compliments is never a good thing. Telling the person that posted this that they are beautiful, amazing, etc. etc. is vain and completely inappropriate. What they need is help, and they need to feel good in their skin before any amount of compliments will make them feel good. The therapist in question should have their license taken away, period. This is an inappropriate measure that should not be taken - posting images on the internet to raise self-esteem?

No. Where this individual should be looking is in the comfort of themself and their close friends or family. Not complete strangers who know nothing about the person. Saying that a person's exterior is beautiful means nothing. It should not mean anything to the person who posted the thread. What they should feel is that, inside, they are a beautiful person.

Aside from that, this is a sex toy website. It is not a place to gain compliments or raise self-esteem. Sure, you can raise self-esteem by getting to know your body better with sex toys and being more comfortable in yourself - but to post a thread asking for words on your body? No. That's superficial, and inappropriate on a sex toy website.

Feel good in yourself before asking for other people to love who you are. You cannot love anyone until you love yourself.
05/08/2010
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok ... More
I thought about this more in the shower this morning, and the additional posts have added some more thoughts.

The REASON that it's inappropriate that you ask anyone about what they think of you is because they have their own issues and emotions. People of a certain race COULD actually be somewhat hung up over skin color. People of a certain age could have emotions over the smoothness of skin. People that have been abused could have many issues. You have no idea what type of stupidity and random emotions and how they could answer you.

I choose to answer the post out of the belief that you were feeling pressured and would look for an answer somewhere else if not here. (And my honest thoughts are that your body is beautiful!)

I'm concerned that you let both your boyfriend and your psychiatrist decide if you should post this, and that you boyfriend watched you to make sure that you did. This sounds like coercion to me and not the healthy type.

By posting - you are opening yourself to a wide variety of new thoughts. Make sure that you take the time to reflect on them yourself.
05/08/2010
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I will say something right now, and do understand. Feeding a person's want for attention or want for compliments is never a good thing. Telling the person that posted this that they are beautiful, amazing, etc. etc. is vain and completely ... More
She's looking for help in how to love herself. Not that simple...
05/08/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
She's looking for help in how to love herself. Not that simple...
There's a difference between looking for help, and asking for help, as opposed to posting a picture of your body online and asking for others to comment on how it looks.

Genuinely asking, "I need help in learning to love myself. What are some steps that I can take to do this for myself?" is a lot different from what was done.
05/08/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
All of this aside...what is important is what YOU think about your body and what YOU like about it. I have gone through bad periods of my life where I had plenty of men as choices, tons of compliments form both sexes ect. But it didn't mean squat to me because I didn't believe it. You need to believe it for yourself and you need to find the confidence and happiness from your own actions, not others.

Um your psychiatrist should be stripped of their license. I am unsure if this is EXACTLY what they asked you to do. I can only see this being ethical if they said you should go to a beach and wear a bikini and try to expose yourself to public situations where everyone else is doing the same thing as you.

Suggestion: Don't save your pictures as fat me...that's just ridiculous...
05/08/2010
Heartthrob Heartthrob
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
ihave to say i am embarressed. the therpy is for my bad body image. i have told her that i am on this website and chat about sex and things like that and she told me to post a picture of myself to show myself that people would probably tell me that i ... More
What your therapist is doing is sexual harassment and you should not take any part of it. This is not therapeutic and is an exploitation.
05/08/2010
Epiphora Epiphora
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
ihave to say i am embarressed. the therpy is for my bad body image. i have told her that i am on this website and chat about sex and things like that and she told me to post a picture of myself to show myself that people would probably tell me that i ... More
"really this whole excersize feels terrable and miserable and is very embarressing."

That is the last thing that therapy should be making you feel. PERIOD. Please realize this and do something to change it. Your boyfriend also needs to butt out immediately.
05/09/2010
Beloved Beloved
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I will say something right now, and do understand. Feeding a person's want for attention or want for compliments is never a good thing. Telling the person that posted this that they are beautiful, amazing, etc. etc. is vain and completely ... More
Umm, you seem a bit harsh here. Especially if she really was told to do this. I agree with everyone else she needs to find a new therapist, but don't degrade her for trying to follow up on an, albeit strange, assignment. Everyone needs to feel good about themselves...that's why there IS sex toys..obviously because sometimes humans don't do it for us.

Again, please go easy here, you don't know the situation nor do you understand the deleterious effects your words could have. I have personally helped save several people from suicide, who posted on forums such as this..she obviously didn't know where else to turn. I say, she came to the right place and is receiving the right advice: find a new therapist!
05/09/2010
Beloved Beloved
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
I know this is stupid and embarressing on my part and very immature but i have been going to see a psyciatrist and she said to do this sometime this week and let her know how things went. shes said it "will be good for me" yeh right.
ok ... More
Charity, Listen. I don't know what you are being treated for, but first of all. Let me advise you to delete that picture. NOT because it's bad, far from it. You have a beautiful figure. But because as it has been stated, it's very dangerous to post pic's like that on the Net. Even with no head-shot, there are still identifying factors than can be traced. I recommend you delete it and then take the regular picture to your friends or a support group for whatever it is you are being treated for.
I have seen a lot of women treated for anything from body dysmorphic disorder, eating disorders, cutting/self-harm etc. Your therapist, while possibly trying to help you, in the long run has actually hurt your progress in healing both mentally, physically and sexually. (This IS the Women's sexual health subforum, you have a right to post here).
You can look on my profile and email me if you would like for private conversation and direction to qualified help. You will be okay. Keep this thought in your mind ALL THE TIME: "I AM BEAUTIFUL". Just keep thinking it, say it out loud in the mirror to yourself. Think it till you believe it.
*Hugs* Sweetheart. It WILL be okay.
05/09/2010
Beloved Beloved
Quote:
Originally posted by xchairitycasex
ihave to say i am embarressed. the therpy is for my bad body image. i have told her that i am on this website and chat about sex and things like that and she told me to post a picture of myself to show myself that people would probably tell me that i ... More
*Hugs* You are beautiful just because you are you.
05/09/2010
xchairitycasex xchairitycasex
I am really sorry if i affended anoyone. i really ddint want to do this but me and my boyfreind have been having problems and i really wanted to make things better for us so i agreed to go see whomever he wanted me too. i am going to let him read what you all have to say. about this not being good for me. it just feels like i was being pulled in all directions to do this. i have never gone to a therapist before i told them (therapist) that i hated the idea and she told me that i would that this whole process was to take me out of my comfort level that it was going to make me feel worse ebfore it made me feel better. i think after reading what you all have to say i will look for someone else. this was not a fun or happy thing i wanted to do. but i really appreciate everyone being nice and again im sorry if i made anyone mad. my boyfreind was pushing to listen to the doctor.
05/09/2010
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