inability to cum

Contributor: N&M N&M
Do any women here find that sometimes during sex, even though everything feels really good, that they're unable to cum. Is the sex itself fulfilling, or is the orgasm necessary to make it pop?
08/05/2011
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Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by N&M
Do any women here find that sometimes during sex, even though everything feels really good, that they're unable to cum. Is the sex itself fulfilling, or is the orgasm necessary to make it pop?
Many women can't climax with penetrative sex. You can ask if there's anything else she wants you to do, but please DON'T ask if she came. I hate that question. It makes me feel instantly pressured. If I don't its still a good experience for me. The only thing that will make it a bad experience is if you appear to be selfish and uncaring.
08/05/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I agree with Tuesday. I rarely come the first time from penetrative PIV sex. If I'm going to have an orgasm (and I don't always, but usually want to) I come from a combination of receiving oral sex, vaginal penetration (either his hand or a dildo or phallic vibrator) AND then a strong vibrator clitorally. After the first one, I can sometimes come during PIV and even come while giving head. But, I almost never come the first time in the session from penetrative sex. I LOVE PIV (penis in vagina) sex, but it doesn't hit the spots to cause me to be able to orgasm the first time. Most women have the same experience.

Learning about the clitoris, the G Spot, the A Spot and what works for your individual partner is the best course to take. Some women simply don't come without a vibrator, there is nothing wrong with her, she simply requires heavy, consistent stimulation. Other women ONLY come from oral sex with or without vaginal penetration.

Every woman is different, but I don't think women should be expected to come from nothing but a few licks and then a few minutes of PIV or worse, nothing but PIV. That simply isn't enough stimulation for most women. It takes work and experimentation to learn what you and your partner respond to.

You asked Is the sex itself fulfilling, or is the orgasm necessary to make it pop? I can only answer for myself; It varies. If I have had an orgasm or more in the last 12 hours, we can have simple quick PIV and I don't feel the need to come again. But, if it's been more than 24 hours or so without an orgasm, I DO need to come to make the sex "pop." But, every woman will be different. And her response may vary from day to day. I have a fairly high sex drive for a woman (or for a man for that matter) so I need sex a lot and I need to have orgasms most of the time. But, sometimes, especially if we had a marathon the night before and we both had a good time and I came several times, I can and like to simply have PIV (with a little oral, we never want to leave that out, ever) and don't worry about an other orgasm. But, it does vary.

Good luck.
08/05/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I can't orgasm at all during PIV sex and honestly, I've rarely orgasmed by my partner's hand either. For me though, I find the sex fulfilling in itself; I rarely feel the need to orgasm and when I do, I don't mind getting myself off.
08/05/2011
Contributor: southern woman southern woman
My husband is so amazing and yes he is fulfilling, but it is extremely hard for me to REALLY orgazim now where before I had kids it was easy. He's not doing anything wrong and I still enjoy it, its just something we both had to adjust to. Its been even harder for him to adjust than me. We use mini clit vibes and stuff to help, but even they dont always work. I think it has to do with hormones.
08/05/2011