Do you tell them?

ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
I recently started trying anal on my own, but I would like to get my boyfriend involved. He is not really into trying new things, but I want to try to convince him. How should I tell him? Do I just say it or should I keep to myself since I dont think he will be into it.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Just tell him.
113  (97%)
Don't bother.
Other?
3  (3%)
Total votes: 116
Poll is closed
07/09/2011
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Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Honesty and open communication can work wonders in any relationship. You could just let him know about it, then say he's welcome to join you if he wants. No real pressure there. Heck, he may be into it but afraid to bring it up with you. You'll never know until you go for it.
07/09/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Honesty and open communication can work wonders in any relationship. You could just let him know about it, then say he's welcome to join you if he wants. No real pressure there. Heck, he may be into it but afraid to bring it up with you. ... More
Great advice! I never thought the wife would be into playing with my butt, but she was more than willing to give it a try. All I had to do was ask.
07/09/2011
lanky lanky
yes honesty. never thought my wife would be into anal play, now she loves it
07/09/2011
Rossie Rossie
Just be honest and tell him about your interest in anal play. If he is totally against anal, then it'll be a waste of time to make him change his mind. If he doesn't have a problem with you using an anal plug while making love, then just go get a good plug and include it in your playtime. Since you're the one using the plug, your boyfriend does not have to do a thing on his part (unless you want him to insert it into you). Just explain to him that when you're wearing an anal plug while having sex with him, he will benefit from the added sensation too.

Good luck!
07/09/2011
Endocott Endocott
Honesty is very important. I'm sure if he cares, and you are interested, he will at least try it out for you.
07/09/2011
Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
"You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Anonoymous
07/09/2011
The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
Quote:
Originally posted by Sex'и'Violence
"You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Anonoymous
Great quote! I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it.
07/09/2011
married with children married with children
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Honesty and open communication can work wonders in any relationship. You could just let him know about it, then say he's welcome to join you if he wants. No real pressure there. Heck, he may be into it but afraid to bring it up with you. ... More
great advice. same thing I would say
07/10/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I can't imagine why you wouldn't talk to him about it. My advise is don't expect him to go from uninterested to enthusiastic in one talk - take your time, go slow and let him come around to the idea on his schedule.
07/10/2011
amandaco2011 amandaco2011
Personally I think a shared sex life is about sharing these types of things.
07/10/2011
MJ1337 MJ1337
Its important to be open and honest. In a relationship its "our" sex life, not just "your" sex life.
07/10/2011
irishlove irishlove
Quote:
Originally posted by ichwillwaffels
I recently started trying anal on my own, but I would like to get my boyfriend involved. He is not really into trying new things, but I want to try to convince him. How should I tell him? Do I just say it or should I keep to myself since I dont think ... More
You can't expect to be happy with your sex life if you don't communicate openly with your partner. If this is something you want to introduce to the bedroom, you should talk about it. Good luck!
07/10/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I'd just be open and upfront with what your desires are and take it from there.
07/10/2011
Howells Howells
I curious about this situation in reverse. Man trying it and telling to the girl. Is that 100% just tell him as well?
07/10/2011
Anjulie Anjulie
Quote:
Originally posted by lanky
yes honesty. never thought my wife would be into anal play, now she loves it
Agreed. You may be surprised. Maybe he doesnt want to bring it up either
07/10/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
yep just tell him
07/10/2011
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I curious about this situation in reverse. Man trying it and telling to the girl. Is that 100% just tell him as well?
Absolutely!
07/10/2011
Ansley Ansley
You would be amazed at what people are willing to do when someone opens the door and says it's ok to try something new or something taboo.

When I first met my husband, he thought sex was just that - sex. I kept introducing new topics of discussion and gauging his reaction to my ideas. Now? His fantasies far surpass my own and I have to run to catch up sometimes. If it's taboo or a fetish, we've talked about it and/or done it to some degree.

Given you are the one wanting to try new things, it would be beneficial to have researched all of the high points and low points to the activity and have answers readily available for questions he may have. If he asks you something about this and you don't have the answer, that's ok too. Just explain that you don't know but it would mean a lot to you if you could discover the answer together.

Be patient. It may take two or three or thirty discussions before he agrees to do something you want. He has to be comfortable with the idea and it may seem like it's taking forever, just remember you wouldn't want to be rushed in a similar situation. (Watching porn with the activity of your choice as the theme is a really good way to get things pumped.) Good luck!
07/10/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
Remember; the worst thing that he can say is no! And if he says no, you guys will laugh about it in a few years time! But personally, my boyfriend is afraid on new things, but I really wanted to take a toy into the bedroom, and eventually get him comfortable with me using one by myself. I started off by suggesting a small finger vibrator, which after a few weeks he agreed on, and then brought up why I wanted to get one, along with how it would be good for him, too. After a few weeks and me showing him several different types of vibes we picked some out together. Got them in the mail yesterday, and he's already enjoying them!

So just work him up to the idea! Tell him why you're interested and be willing to research any questions he has about health concerns or anything like that! And go for it!
07/10/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Just tell him
07/10/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by ichwillwaffels
I recently started trying anal on my own, but I would like to get my boyfriend involved. He is not really into trying new things, but I want to try to convince him. How should I tell him? Do I just say it or should I keep to myself since I dont think ... More
Rent a couple of movies with anal and bring up the subject with him. Let him know you want to try it with him and see what happens. If he is unsure, give him time to think about it. Be kind and treat him with respect for his decision. Ask him what he would like to try and give it the same consideration.
07/12/2011
lilmamma lilmamma
I dont drink ever! So one night when I was with my (fiance then) husband and some friends of ours watching the bedlam game, my friend was talking about someone we knew that had tried it.. Up until that point I was SO not into trying it AT ALL, but He swears that I begged him to try it that night after I was pretty drunk... maybe you should get him drunk then ask him what he thinks about it.. usually people are pretty honest about stuff when intoxicated.
07/13/2011
Steve of Eden Steve of Eden
Honesty is the best policy... tell him!
07/13/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
Go for it!
07/13/2011
Steve of Eden Steve of Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Honesty and open communication can work wonders in any relationship. You could just let him know about it, then say he's welcome to join you if he wants. No real pressure there. Heck, he may be into it but afraid to bring it up with you. ... More
I completely agree...
07/13/2011
Powder Powder
Even if he's a bit intimidated at first, more than likely he'll warm up to the idea xP
07/17/2011
newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by ichwillwaffels
I recently started trying anal on my own, but I would like to get my boyfriend involved. He is not really into trying new things, but I want to try to convince him. How should I tell him? Do I just say it or should I keep to myself since I dont think ... More
Discuss it when you are both relaxed and having an open conversation with plenty of time to explore. Perhaps start by sharing another idea you have, get him started, get him to share some idea with you, then bring this one up. I can tell you as a guy that you may be surprised. Many of us want it, but are afraid of being ridiculed or our female significant other feeling we are less masculine for admitting we like the idea. You can also touch yourself on the anus while he is doing something for you, and simply saying how arousing you find it to be touched/tickled like that. I promise you he will be glad to help. You can then expand from there.
07/18/2011
newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I curious about this situation in reverse. Man trying it and telling to the girl. Is that 100% just tell him as well?
Yes. Just let her know you would like experiment, and let her know. You can just use a plug that you are responsible for, then expand from there depending on how responsive she is the to idea.
07/18/2011
Gigi128 Gigi128
I would just tell him some guys are really into that but think most girls aren't. & you may be into it, and he could not like it. Either way you have nothing to lose.
07/22/2011
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